My “Sanctuary”

Tags

family, home, home renovations

Normally Wednesdays have been “wilderness wednesday” but there isn’t much wilderness in my backyard. The birds don’t visit my feeder. Even the squirrels, just like my neighbours, are holing up in their cozy abodes and venture out only to get groceries. And now, with the impending declaration of a “state of emergency” in our province, and living in a region that has been hit particularly hard by Covid, that isn’t likely to change.

So I decided today to share a few pics of my new office/craft room/spare room which I generally refer to as my “sanctuary”. It’s become the place I now tuck in to write or craft away a few hours, somewhat in peace. I have family visitors popping in to say “Hi” during their bathroom break! 🙂

I wouldn’t call the space complete, but it’s well on the way, and for the moment, relatively tidy! So a good time to snap pics because I know it won’t stay this pristine for long!

As you know, it took me several weeks to paint the room blue, and it would have taken longer without the help of a friend (who booped the ceiling with the roller in plenty of places so don’t look up!)

Let me give you a quick tour:

I had hoped to purchase a day bed, but elected to keep Little Guy’s bed instead and save some pennies. The drawers are handy for storing fabric (and a change of clothes for Big Guy if he ever gets to visit again)! I debated a long time whether to go for a “beach” theme or a “videogame” theme. I decided “beach” was more grown-up! At some point, I will print and frame some of my favourite photos from our 2 summer holidays at a cottage near the beach. It’s my “happy place”. I also have my eye on some fluffy and beach-vintage-y pillows, and I will re-cover some of these in softer colours. My hope is to create a comfy corner to read.

Nana’s Dresdon Plate Quilt

I searched my symptoms on WebMD and it said it said I needed to be on a warm beach sipping pina coladas!

Unknown

I own a lot of craft crap! Moving it upstairs forced me to sort and purge, no small undertaking. I hid a lot in the closet and there’s still a shelf in the basement (shh!) My hope is that organized, easy access will help me recapture my “creative mojo”! I put out some cards to inspire me.

The desk is nothing like I wanted, but it belongs to Hubby and he wants to keep it for sentimental reasons. I would paint it white, but the sentiment comes from happy memories of refinishing it with his father. On the plus side, the drawers are deep and it’s been a handy surface for crafting, writing, and cutting sewing patterns. My new cow desk lamp gives me whimsy; the oversized tea cup for pens and pencils, a nod to my love of tea. The tissue paper flowers were a mother’s day gift a million years ago! I started to write a book and I need to suck it up and get back to it, so I prominantely placed this reminder: Let your faith be bigger than your fear.

I need a proper desk chair though…this lawn chair is uncomfortable!

Finally, behind me, a new shelving unit for form and function: more craft crap, and some pretty things to make me smile.

The top shelf is my “geek shelf”: Minecraft Lego, Big Bang Theory Lego, and my Mercy figurine. I play the battle angel, Mercy, almost exclusively on Overwatch! The bottom 3 shelves contain my stamps.

The middle shelves have more personal things. Some sea shells from my Grandfather, who loved to walk the beach in South Carolina early in the morning. He made me promise not to let Nana throw them out if he died first! I also have a photograph my aunt took of my family with the catamaran my Dad built. I don’t remember the boat (except the faded red paw print on the sail) but I have many happy memories of camping and canoeing on this lake. A blue glass bowl that belonged to my other grandmother. I seem to remember it with hard candy in it? And she loved blue. I also have her small white tea cup with exotic birds. Perhaps they are enjoying the sun in palm trees next to a white, sandy beach and turquoise waters.

• 

• 

• 

• 

Which is where I’d like to be.

Because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it’s sent away.

Sarah Kay

Happy Wednesday!

Dear Quarantine Diary #26

Tags

covid-19 humour, dear diary, family, home renovations, humour

Dear Diary – I was all set to paint the new office/craft/spare room, aka My Sanctuary, when I hit my first serious obstacle. I thought packing and moving the majority of “stuff” would be the challenge. I never anticipated not being able to open the paint can! The lid isn’t the standard metal lid I’m used to wrangling, but a rubber cap that was intended to survive a nuclear holocaust. After some intense straining, profuse sweating, and mumbling under the breath, I stormed into my room to be “enlightened” by a Youtube video! How did we ever survive before the internet? The 5 second video demonstrated how to twist and pop a tiny circle in the lid. That resulted in more straining, sweating and growling. I still needed Hubby’s help.

Have you ever tried to stir a quart of paint with a stick in a hole the size of a gas cap? What happens if I don’t clean it well and the paint dries and I never get it open again? Will my room be forever a motley smattering of blue and yellow? Do I really need another can of paint stacked in the laundry room? I know I don’t need a quart-sized paper weight! This is not a good design!

After several days, being unable to work for any definite period of time because I’m old and crippled, the edges in the room have either 1, 2 or 0 layers of paint. It’s a good thing my mind is still intact and I know which is which, or I could be painting edges forever. Having a bed in the room that’s basically…the size of the room…hasn’t helped. I can’t just pick up and move the ladder at whim. It requires forethought and a pair of manly arms, which just aren’t available during the day. The arms, not the forethought, although there are days…

My goal is to get this room painted before the snow flies.

But while the room is going painfully slow, I was able to complete another painting project! Sure there was sweating and grumbling involved too, mostly as I sanded paint off the hinges (who paints hinges!?!?!) and masked the inside. I wasn’t too happy peeling off bugs that wandered in either (I was painting outside), but I’m very happy with the result!

Woe to the man who dents or scratches it first

Dear Diary – I found this ad in a Christian music magazine. Whoever made the decision to use this tag line (and the imagery isn’t helping either) really didn’t think it through, did they?

Let chili and cruciferous vegetables inspire sounds inside you…but stay away from me when the sounds start to come out!

Dear Diary – My friend has been a huge help in selling my face masks. In fact, I have 8 to cut out and sew this weekend. One morning this week, still blurry eyed and tousled after I stumbling out of bed at a respectable hour (after 9 a.m.), Hubby tells me, “D. texted me some questions about masks. I texted her back to ask you. She texted back that she hit the wrong contact”. I started laughing because the day before she was chuckling at another older lady who, within an hour of D. calling her, ends up calling D. accidentally. I told Hubby this and he told me to “have fun with that!”.

D. is quite a character and loves to laugh. She can handle some serious ribbing too, so I texted her “Hey! Old lady, are you hitting on my husband”?

Within a minute, my phone was ringing and we had the biggest laugh. That isn’t such a bad way to start a day! And I will definately be bringing it up again! 🙂

Dear Diary – I was asked to not be late again posting my weekly diary post…I guess that means someone is reading it! Hurray!!!!! Love you Mom! xoxo

Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first. – Matthew Jacobson

Reno Diaries: Part 4

Tags

family, home, home renovations, humour

November  18- Dear Diary,  Another gloomy weekend, or maybe that was just in the kitchen. When Handyman was installing the tile, which looks so nice, he had to pull the plug out and accidentally pulled off 2 wires. I don’t know when Dad will be able to get here to fix it. So with no light and no plug, it made cooking and baking a dismal task.

Last Friday morning, I made an emergency call to the pastor to see if he could pop over to help install our microwave. Fortunately, he was available only for the 40 minutes it would take, including driving.  The installation went well but the microwave moves every time you push a button. It’s super annoying and more than a little scary!

Since Handy man took some doors home with him, I got some of the trim painting done, but it required some creativity to reach all the nooks and crannies! Handyman has started installing the new built-in cupboards and counter. So excited to see it finally coming together!

November 19 – Dear Diary,  I sent my pa some snaps of the plug and hanging wires, which required standing on angles. I was not built to be in the circus, and yet I share a house with a number of strange characters. Me included.  Daddy you’re my only hope!

On the plus side, the grout is going in. I haven’t been this excited about mud since Mud Hero.  On the downside, it doubled my clean up at the end of the day just so I could cook dinner. Mud in the sink, all over the counters…even the floor.

We had yet another issue with door knobs & handles. Despite our careful consideration and adding up the numbers, more than once I might add, we ended up with 6 knobs too many…and 6 pulls too few. This required another trip to home depot.  I was in too big a hurry to even change out of my yoga pants. I knew right where to go (after the return counter) – aisle 21! But to my dismay, they only had 4 pulls left. I raced to customer service where 2 ladies stood waiting, to wait on some guy, who had gone looking for something. Apparently this guy was “hotter” than me in yoga pants, and I had to wait for 2 of them to finish waiting on 1 of him! They were less than friendly when they did get to me, and they couldn’t help me any way!

So I had to drive to the other Home Depot farther away. I burst through the doors like a woman on a mission, heading straight to aisle 21. But hardware was not in aisle 21. Fortunately I wasn’t far off, and there were oodles. I skipped to the car with my newfound bounty…this time, only an hour and a half of my life gone forever!

November 19 – Dear Diary, Hallelujah! A new day has done and a bright light shines in the darkness. It is the light over my sink. The broken plug is repaired. The microwave is shimmied. The grout is complete. The doors and knobs and pulls are all installed. Handyman is done! I have cupboards to clean and some painting to touch up. Simple. But the hard part now…is finding “homes” for all. this. stuff.

Old vs. New

PLUS… all new breakfast/baking bar!

Happy Weekend!

Reno Diaries: Part 2

Tags

home, home renovations, humour

November 2 – Dear Diary: Hubby and I went shopping to buy a microwave. I thought it would be a simple job: drive to Home Depot, pick one in our price range, and bring it home. How hard could it be?

First, a long discussion ensued whether to choose black or stainless steel. Since nothing else in the kitchen is stainless steel, and expecting it to be less popular and therefore cheaper, we chose black. Every microwave in Home Depot was stainless steel.

A Home Depot employee looked on the website for us, and could order one in black. It was more expensive than stainless, and came with a $69 delivery fee. Ouch! It couldn’t be delivered to the store and picked up…so another discussion ensued, and we decided to buy a stainless steel one. Did you know, dear diary, that the only microwaves in the store are the models? It would take at least a week for it to come in. We didn’t know if Handyman needed it on Monday. We politely declined, much to the annoyance of the employee, and headed to the hardware aisle, where we proceeded to discuss and fondle all the knobs and pulls, from simple to ostentatious. We got ridiculously giddy. The prices, however, were a shock. I cannot justify spending $300 on hardware alone, no matter how ridiculously good-looking they are. So I settled on a simple white ceramic knob to go with the simple white doors.  I purchased one for the whopping price of $1.99.

Julius Rock is proud of me!

We went to Canadian Tire. They only had stainless steel, and none of them were over-the-stove models. BUT while we were there, I took Hubby to look at dishes. Our everyday Corelle set was given to us in 1995. While every mug and saucer is intact, we only have 5 dinner plates. Which means if we everyone is home, we have to do dishes. Which means if we have guests, we have to flip a coin to see who doesn’t get to eat. Unless we eat in shifts.

There was a great assortment of colours and patterns. I was particularly attracted to a pale blue stoneware set. The only ones Hubby liked were white. Just white. Our plate-flipping-coin will have to stay in the kitchen a little longer. Discouraged, we set out for store #3…

I hate shopping at The Brick. As soon as we set foot in the store, a salesperson started stalking us. It was creepy. He stalked us to the microwave department, pointed to a couple of models but didn’t explain anything, then wandered off in search of better prey. We could get him if we needed help.

We wandered around, scrutinizing the varied features of these stainless steel models (no black). The deciding factor (apart from price) was very high-tech: how comfortable the handle feels when we open it. Then we started wandering to see find Mr. Salesperson. Mrs. Salesperson saw us searching and offered to help. She showed us a few models and checked on a sales one that we liked.

We had made our selection when Mr. Salesperson showed up, and started mouthing off to Mrs. Salesperson about “stealing his sale”. It was incredibly uncomfortable. We didn’t know if we should interject or just walk away. Before we decided, she walked away and Mr. Salesperson rang it up. We could pick it up 3 days. I paid. Mr. Salesperson couldn’t get the receipt to print, so he disappeared…for nearly 5 minutes. I was beginning to wonder if he’d split town with my payment and I was to end up with no microwave. Just a gaping hole over the stove. Eventually we left with a receipt, a small migraine, and a parting scowl from Mrs. Salesperson.

November 4 – Handyman said he was coming to apply the second coat of plaster, but he didn’t show up. Guess he forgot and he’s away the rest of the week. I got bored waiting, so went shopping for clothes for Little Guy. He’s now taller than me but I’m still 4 lbs heavier. I’m not sure I could take him in a fight, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t say that!

November 11 – Everyone has been sharing their kitchen renovation horror stories. I was thinking I was getting off pretty easy. Famous. Last. Words….

Reno Diaries: Part One

Tags

home renovations, humour

October 17 – Dear Diary, it’s a beautiful sunny day out, but I have a deadline. Handyman is coming Monday to start the kitchen. I just found out!

I have been planning this change for a long time, mostly because I was too scared to talk to the Handyman. I talked to him in the Spring, after I decided to add cupboard doors and before I quit my job! So far I have successfully removed our belongings from the shelves over the stove and fridge…and washed said belongings because they were oilier than Danny Zuko’s hair. Handyman is shortening these shelves to install a microwave over the stove. I can’t wait for the unsightly, dusty fan to be gone forever. All it does is make noise. Sometimes, when I boil something too long, it starts to drip grease. Yuck!

I recycled most of the aluminum pie and tart shells and recipe clippings. What was I thinking? Just realized we no longer receive the Milk calendar – definitely a blessing since I’m lactose intolerant!

So long 1959 tiles & cupboard doors. So long 1980 butcher block counter top!

October 18  – Dear Diary, I made the trip to Value Village today with over 7 bags of clothing, kitchen items, toys and books. Now I have room to start unpacking our massive teak cupboard. Did you know I have over 100 flavours of tea? I don’t know where I’m going to put it all! Kettle’s boiling…

October 19 – Dear Diary, Hubby and Big Guy moved the teak cupboard into the dining room. We now have a small blue recycle bin by the back door, which I have to empty at least once a day. On the plus side, no more blue bin in the dining room and the teak cupboard covers up the dings in the wall from lobbing cans like they were basketballs…and missing. Guilty!

We pushed the dining table back so there’s more room to walk around, but Hubby keeps hitting his head on the overhead fixture. The fridge is now where the cupboard was and the microwave has moved to the dining room too. Big Guy turned it around so I don’t have to stand on my head to heat a cup of tea. Bless that sweet child of mine!

October 20 – Dear Diary, I cleared the kitchen counter tonight so the Handyman can install the new counter top. He delivered it already and it’s gorgeous! The kettle is plugged in on the dining floor. I wonder how many times I’ll trip over it!

October 21 – Dear Diary, the Handyman arrived before 8:30. I was dressed and moved my car by 8. Phew! I’ve added 2 large bins to the dining room floor – one with the contents of the stove drawer and one with the wet contents of my plastic container cupboard.  Unfortunately, he ran into a snag with the sink plumbing and had to turn off the water. For most of the day. I was out for the morning with a friend, and we stopped by around noon to see how it was going! Unfortunately, my friend used the bathroom (no. 2) before we realized the water was still off. We were all embarrassed!

October 22 – Dear Diary, even though he said I didn’t have to remove all the stuff in the lower cupboards, I wish I had. Everything is covered in sawdust. Today the Handyman cut the shelves, removed the icky tile, and framed the wall that’s going to cover the extra electrical work. I used the tub to fill my kettle. Electrical work delayed while the Electrician vacations in Ireland!

I keep trying to reheat my tea in the breadbox since it’s living where the microwave used to be…

October 30 – Dear Diary, Exciting day! Electrician has arrived with a bin full of tools and my mother. Plenty of hemming and hawing through the evening while mother snoozed on the couch and I played Overwatch with Big Guy.

Tripped over tea kettle.

October 31 – Dear Diary, Noisy day! Drilling interrupted conversations over tea throughout the day. I found at least 9 piles of sawdust in a neat row snaking the length of the basement & laundry room, including bed folks sleep in. Dad accidentally spilled Mom’s water in the bed in a spectacular fashion. I will be sleeping on the couch tonight, but a small sacrifice for proper outlets.

November 1 – Dear Diary, massive wind storm through night, resulting in lots of banging and 7 power outages. I know this because every time it went off and came back on, the Xbox, microwave and stove would beep, and the fridge and printer powered on. Once  the wind died down, snoring from above could be heard. Finally turned on electric fan and slept for 3 hours. Minor miscommunication so one outlet had to move. Once Handyman approved the electrical work, he put up drywall and plaster. Trail of sawdust has migrated throughout the entire house, and I suspect I will be hand picking wood chips from the carpet for weeks! Next steps: choosing cupboard door handles and buying a microwave. Should ask Hubby to weigh in, but not optimistic we’ll find something we agree on. Wish us luck!

November 2 – Dear Diary, I took Hubby shopping. It’s too soon to talk about it…

From Hero to Zero

Tags

home renovations, humour

Sometimes the spirit is more than willing, but the flesh just can’t keep up. It’s amazing to think that only 5 years ago, I ran in Mud Hero. Now I’m hobbling around like a 90 year old wondering if my best years are behind me. All because I wanted to paint my bathroom. And now, like most home projects, what should have taken a few hours or a day or two, will likely stretch into weeks. I can blame some of the delay on holidays, of which I am taking all of next week. Perhaps even from blogging. The best part of a holiday is having very few plans, and I’m planning on just that. No plans, no deadlines, and if at all possible, no cooking. We’ll see. But I digress.

Since when did painting a bathroom become such a big deal! It’s a small room, and half the walls are covered in “vintage” salmon and seafoam green tile? People paint and redecorate whole rooms on TV in an hour. It should be simple.

Day 1

Step 1: Convince family to leave me home alone for a couple of days.

Step 2: Buy a new paint scraper (because it’s buried in the basement that time forgot).

Day 2

Step 3: Hunt everywhere for missing step ladder. (Please don’t ask me how I misplaced a stepladder).

Step 4: Convince oldest son to carry it upstairs.

Step 5: Buy paint. Take a friend to help me decide on which shade of white to buy from a sampler of 50 whites.

Step 6: Wrestle with stepladder for 20 minutes. Take a break to cool off. Literally. It’s nearly 40C outside with humidity so you can imagine what it’s like in the bathroom.

Step 6: Make multiple trips up 2 flights of stairs to bring up things like drop cloths, paint trays, brushes, rollers and sneakers. Rest.

Note to self: Don’t set up the ladder straddling the toilet. It makes straddling a toilet while sitting under a ladder straddling the toilet at 3 a.m. incredibly difficult.

Day 3

Step 7: Arrange and rearrange drop cloths (that will repeatedly slide on porcelain surfaces). Once reached peak frustration level, toss from the bathroom.

Step 8: Remove extra large, extra heavy mirror sheet from wall. Apparently, slide it to the right so you don’t run into the wall and get stuck standing there trying to “convince” the right-hand corners to slip back into the brackets so you can remove said extra large, extra heavy sheet of glass. Apparently, also do not rest edge of said glass on chrome soap dish in order to get a better grip, as said chrome soap dish will snap in half. Shuffle into adjacent bedroom and deposit on bed.

Step 9: Gape with horror at large, horribly repaired hole in wall, hidden by the extra large, extra heavy mirror. The hole was repaired with a sheet of styrofoam, grossly plastered around the edges to make it stay.  Text photo to girlfriend, who immediately replies, “who’s behind it”? Like I’m going to go looking!?!

Step 10: Pick a corner. Wash the wall. (Because wiping with the Swiffer was a waste of precious time).

Step 11: Pour paint in tray. Immediately dribble on the uncovered floor.

Step 12: Pick a corner and start edging with a brush. For hours. While sweating profusely because a) it’s hot; and b) the room is too small to accommodate the paint tray so it has to sit on the floor, thereby causing me to climb up two steps every 15 seconds. Be creative – use my surroundings for balance (e.g., window sill, edge of tub, etc.) Ignore giant hole and increasing ache in back and start rolling a small section of the wall, until I reach the decision that if I don’t quit soon, my family will find me hugging the ladder and sobbing, because my back deserted me and I couldn’t get down.

Step 13: Abandon the ladder. Crawl downstairs and clean as best as  I can. Take a back pill and spend afternoon on couch binge watching Call the Midwife, feeling sorry for myself.

Day 4…

Every time we use the facilities, we stop and stare at the giant hole and wonder what to do about it.

The bathroom is half finished…and it will need a second coat. The ladder and mirror are still in Hubby’s room. The soap dish is still broken. So is my spirit. In a matter of 5 years, I feel like I’ve gone from Hero to Zero. Full stop.

On the positive side, the rest of me is healing. I can put my own sandals on. Which is good, considering I’m going on holiday. Near a beach!

Happy Weekend!

Spackle for Dummies

Tags

home renovations, humour, shopping

I stood there, staring into the dark brown eyes of a 20 year old boy, and my heart was sinking. Those eyes were vacant. I was in trouble.

We were down to one car on Saturday, (Hubby’ car was in the shop all weekend) and I was already running late for an appointment. With Little Guy in tow, I had raced into Home Depot and expertly tracked down the first customer service representative to cross my path.

I was on a mission. I needed spackle, and I just needed someone to tell me where to look for it.

Instead, I found this poor overgrown boy in an orange apron, with a “deer in the headlights” expression in his eyes. He didn’t move. In fact, he looked like he was barely breathing. Clearly I had overwhelmed him with my simple request.

It isn’t the first time I’ve had a strange encounter with a salesperson whose brain hamster was running on a wheel but not generating much electricity.

It turns out that he wasn’t blanking on where to direct me…he just didn’t know what spackle was. I explained that we needed to fill nail holes in a wooden block.

“Oh, you mean plaster?” So close, sweetheart.

Eventually…after multiple descriptions and explanations (with hand gestures)…

…and I made it to aisle 11. But I still couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I nabbed Earl. At first, he insisted they didn’t sell spackle. so once again, I carefully and slowly explained what I was trying to do. What kind of home improvement store doesn’t sell spackle? And then…

Earl directed me to an entire shelf rife with possibilities!

I chose the spackle “for dummies “…the kind that goes on pink and turns white when it’s dry enough to sand (wish they did this with make-up). Somehow, after my experience, that just seemed like the most appropriate kind to buy!

***

This is a 10 minute Monday post (written on Tuesday)…the object is to write for 10 minutes-no editing & no wasting time agonizing over word. Just writing for the fun of writing!

Diabolical Little Screw

Tags

home, home renovations, humour, laugh, photography

I was going to title this post as the Eye of Satan, but that seemed pretty extreme…but at the time, that’s what it felt like.

It was 4:30 p.m. and I was tired. Very tired. I had spent most of the day hauling a chair around and crawling into tight spaces to paint the trim in the kitchen. I was just heading upstairs from the basement when I tripped on the torn, 1970’s grotesque brown “marble print” vinyl floor patch at the top of the stairs. I have tripped on that floor patch 5 million times before…but since it was garbage night…and Hubby was away for the day on a business trip (and wouldn’t be home until 7) – I decided to tear it up. The stained hard wood floor underneath was definitely prettier. How hard could it be? It was already loose so remove the 6 screws on the kick plate and pull.

So I pulled out the big box of screwdrivers, got comfy on the floor and started searching for a screwdriver that would fit these screws…but these screws are not of this world.

My theory is they came through a Star Gate portal. Picture a circle with a line running through it – kind of like an eye! I have a box of 65 screwdrivers and not one of them really worked…I tried Phillips; I tried flat and hex heads and Robertsons. I tried not to grind the screwdrivers into dust. I had to kneel and push down with my full weight just to make a quarter turn. Eventually, my hands and knees aching, my back screaming, I managed to unscrew 5 out of 6 screws (and only shaved 3 knuckles)…but #6 was the “eye of Satan”. It was diabolical. I got it half-way up and it stopped. It wouldn’t budge, up or down, and it was right where we walked so I had to make it move. I called it names and growled at it. I gave it the “skunk eye”.  I frantically tried different screwdrivers, different sitting positions, and different angles. The more I tried to move it, the shinier it became, a gleaming golden eye mocking my futile efforts. Little Guy was sure he could make it move and I figured he might as well try. Who knows? Maybe he’d get lucky. Not!

I was being driven to madness…so I used the next best thing…brute force! Put my Mud Hero training to work! I started to pry that kick plate bar off the floor with a big flathead screwdriver. First I pried in places where I had already removed the screws – the kick plate was glued to the floor there from years of grime…Then I pried directly beside the beast. Sounding like a woman in the throes of labour, I grunted and groaned, baring my teeth and panting with exertion. I broke into a heavy sweat and had to pause to rip off my sweatshirt. I changed positions to let gravity help me in my endeavour. And then, with a final big push, the kick plate and it’s stubborn, twisted screw broke free of the floor. With the joy of a new mother, I heaved a sigh of relief and admired all that my efforts had procured.

Once I caught my breath, I found great satisfaction in tearing out the remaining vinyl and sticky strips, and tossing it out the back door. (I did go out later to bag it up and toss it to the curb). But I’m not sure what to do with these screws…what if they are of alien origin and they are an accused weapon against humanity? What if they fell into the wrong hands? Diabolical little screws…

Do they look like crop circles to anyone else?

p.s. I checked…this screw didn’t make the List of Screws in Wikipedia.

Tool Time

Tags

family, home, home renovations, hubby, humour, tools

Hubby’s quote for the day: “I can destroy the porch and rebuild it in three days…if Home Depot has all the supplies I need.”

You can probably quote that old saying, “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for the rest of his life.” I would love to see it applied to the use of power tools…something like “teach a man to use tools and he’ll build for a day. Teach a man to use power tools, and he’ll keep his wife happy building for her for the rest of her life”. I strongly believe that the ability to use power tools is a bona fide superpower, and it’s the duty of the men in my life to occasionally put that power to good use (you certainly don’t want me to use it – it won’t end well!). Actually, my father-in-law offered to come up sometime this summer to tackle a project. So last weekend, Big Guy and my in-laws descended on our small house so the “guys” could “redo” the back porch! Sounds simple enough…but I confess I wasn’t optimistic. Every project we have undertaken in our home: a) runs into problems; b) takes longer than expected; and, c) never seems to get finished. For example, we laid a new floor over the disgusting and dated retro linoleum in the kitchen several years ago…but we didn’t take into consideration that the height of the floor would increase just enough that when we put the fridge back, we couldn’t re-install the cupboards over the fridge. I’ve filled the gaping hole with decorative dishes. It was that or frilly curtains (shudder). Or when we gutted part of the basement to insulate it, we got the flooring and drywall in, but didn’t get to the ceiling tiles. “Life is what happens after you are busy making plans. –John Lennon”

So the 4 guys strapped on their tool belts, grabbed a hammer, popped on their caps, wiped their noses on their sleeves, and (cue AC/DC Back in Black) in slow-motion style, headed out the back door to “do this thing” Monday morning! Within minutes, the back yard was littered with all the crap that we had been storing on the back porch, along with power cords and power tools. Ah, the sweet screech of a reciprocating saw and a grinder in the early (not too early) morning air.

In December, 2007, BBC News reported that “men are naturally more comedic than women because of the male hormone testosterone”. I don’t know if I believe that or not. There was certainly a lot of testosterone around, but when the guys donned their work “uniforms”, I think they also donned a grumpy and condescending attitude. Certainly there was no guffawing when the reciprocating saw blade broke…and they didn’t have a replacement…and no stores were open because it was a holiday…I did what any wise woman would do – I cleared out. In fact, I left town Tuesday afternoon. So while they dealt with rotten wood Monday morning, I dealt with some of the rotten apples strewn over the back yard. The wasps were pretty humourless too.

Deconstruction: Working hard or hardly working?

The deconstruction was completed on Monday. The construction should have been done yesterday…but Home Depot didn’t have all the supplies we needed. Maybe next week?

Happy Weekend!

Bad Fruit

Tags

home, home renovations, humour

I may have made a mistake. I’ve been feeling restless these days and finding it hard to concentrate on what needs to be done, or to get motivated enough to find something on which to concentrate. So after meandering aimlessly in the house after lunch yesterday, I started a big project in my kitchen.

I was very proud of the walls in my tiny 1960’s kitchen because I painted them myself one very hot summer. It required painting a little bit every evening after a full day of work. I also spent hours holding my breath, hunched up in front of the television, painting the wooden trim engraved with ivy and vines with a small paintbrush and a toothpick. My Mom also helped me put up my fruit border. I loved the colour…once upon a time. It was 9 years! I had planned to sand and paint the cupboard doors the following Summer, but I was pregnant with Little Guy and not painting anything!

So I started with something, well, mostly simple. Someone knocked on the front door in that irritating, overly familiar “Shave & a Haircut – 6 pence” knock while I was standing on the microwave cart tearing down the bad fruit. Even though the light was on in the kitchen, and the television was on in the other room, I was hidden so I hugged the wall and prayed for whoever was at the door to leave their calling card and move on! It wasn’t until I was stretching high on my toes and poking at the paper in the corner over the fridge, with a fork, when I heard a truck roar down the street. That was about 5 minutes after the irritating knock and I realized it had probably been the courier at the door with my package.

In less than an hour, all that remained was a layer of paper stuck fast to the wall (and the memory of what the top of my fridge looks like – yikes)! So it seems I’ll be spending more time on my toes, on the chair, with a sponge and a scraper, and maybe even a fork (it never hurts to improvise). Hubby hasn’t noticed yet…but the bad fruit is gone.