Reno Diaries: Part 2

Tags

home, home renovations, humour

November 2 – Dear Diary: Hubby and I went shopping to buy a microwave. I thought it would be a simple job: drive to Home Depot, pick one in our price range, and bring it home. How hard could it be?

First, a long discussion ensued whether to choose black or stainless steel. Since nothing else in the kitchen is stainless steel, and expecting it to be less popular and therefore cheaper, we chose black. Every microwave in Home Depot was stainless steel.

A Home Depot employee looked on the website for us, and could order one in black. It was more expensive than stainless, and came with a $69 delivery fee. Ouch! It couldn’t be delivered to the store and picked up…so another discussion ensued, and we decided to buy a stainless steel one. Did you know, dear diary, that the only microwaves in the store are the models? It would take at least a week for it to come in. We didn’t know if Handyman needed it on Monday. We politely declined, much to the annoyance of the employee, and headed to the hardware aisle, where we proceeded to discuss and fondle all the knobs and pulls, from simple to ostentatious. We got ridiculously giddy. The prices, however, were a shock. I cannot justify spending $300 on hardware alone, no matter how ridiculously good-looking they are. So I settled on a simple white ceramic knob to go with the simple white doors.  I purchased one for the whopping price of $1.99.

Julius Rock is proud of me!

We went to Canadian Tire. They only had stainless steel, and none of them were over-the-stove models. BUT while we were there, I took Hubby to look at dishes. Our everyday Corelle set was given to us in 1995. While every mug and saucer is intact, we only have 5 dinner plates. Which means if we everyone is home, we have to do dishes. Which means if we have guests, we have to flip a coin to see who doesn’t get to eat. Unless we eat in shifts.

There was a great assortment of colours and patterns. I was particularly attracted to a pale blue stoneware set. The only ones Hubby liked were white. Just white. Our plate-flipping-coin will have to stay in the kitchen a little longer. Discouraged, we set out for store #3…

I hate shopping at The Brick. As soon as we set foot in the store, a salesperson started stalking us. It was creepy. He stalked us to the microwave department, pointed to a couple of models but didn’t explain anything, then wandered off in search of better prey. We could get him if we needed help.

We wandered around, scrutinizing the varied features of these stainless steel models (no black). The deciding factor (apart from price) was very high-tech: how comfortable the handle feels when we open it. Then we started wandering to see find Mr. Salesperson. Mrs. Salesperson saw us searching and offered to help. She showed us a few models and checked on a sales one that we liked.

We had made our selection when Mr. Salesperson showed up, and started mouthing off to Mrs. Salesperson about “stealing his sale”. It was incredibly uncomfortable. We didn’t know if we should interject or just walk away. Before we decided, she walked away and Mr. Salesperson rang it up. We could pick it up 3 days. I paid. Mr. Salesperson couldn’t get the receipt to print, so he disappeared…for nearly 5 minutes. I was beginning to wonder if he’d split town with my payment and I was to end up with no microwave. Just a gaping hole over the stove. Eventually we left with a receipt, a small migraine, and a parting scowl from Mrs. Salesperson.

November 4 – Handyman said he was coming to apply the second coat of plaster, but he didn’t show up. Guess he forgot and he’s away the rest of the week. I got bored waiting, so went shopping for clothes for Little Guy. He’s now taller than me but I’m still 4 lbs heavier. I’m not sure I could take him in a fight, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t say that!

November 11 – Everyone has been sharing their kitchen renovation horror stories. I was thinking I was getting off pretty easy. Famous. Last. Words….

Reno Diaries: Part One

Tags

home renovations, humour

October 17 – Dear Diary, it’s a beautiful sunny day out, but I have a deadline. Handyman is coming Monday to start the kitchen. I just found out!

I have been planning this change for a long time, mostly because I was too scared to talk to the Handyman. I talked to him in the Spring, after I decided to add cupboard doors and before I quit my job! So far I have successfully removed our belongings from the shelves over the stove and fridge…and washed said belongings because they were oilier than Danny Zuko’s hair. Handyman is shortening these shelves to install a microwave over the stove. I can’t wait for the unsightly, dusty fan to be gone forever. All it does is make noise. Sometimes, when I boil something too long, it starts to drip grease. Yuck!

I recycled most of the aluminum pie and tart shells and recipe clippings. What was I thinking? Just realized we no longer receive the Milk calendar – definitely a blessing since I’m lactose intolerant!

So long 1959 tiles & cupboard doors. So long 1980 butcher block counter top!

October 18  – Dear Diary, I made the trip to Value Village today with over 7 bags of clothing, kitchen items, toys and books. Now I have room to start unpacking our massive teak cupboard. Did you know I have over 100 flavours of tea? I don’t know where I’m going to put it all! Kettle’s boiling…

October 19 – Dear Diary, Hubby and Big Guy moved the teak cupboard into the dining room. We now have a small blue recycle bin by the back door, which I have to empty at least once a day. On the plus side, no more blue bin in the dining room and the teak cupboard covers up the dings in the wall from lobbing cans like they were basketballs…and missing. Guilty!

We pushed the dining table back so there’s more room to walk around, but Hubby keeps hitting his head on the overhead fixture. The fridge is now where the cupboard was and the microwave has moved to the dining room too. Big Guy turned it around so I don’t have to stand on my head to heat a cup of tea. Bless that sweet child of mine!

October 20 – Dear Diary, I cleared the kitchen counter tonight so the Handyman can install the new counter top. He delivered it already and it’s gorgeous! The kettle is plugged in on the dining floor. I wonder how many times I’ll trip over it!

October 21 – Dear Diary, the Handyman arrived before 8:30. I was dressed and moved my car by 8. Phew! I’ve added 2 large bins to the dining room floor – one with the contents of the stove drawer and one with the wet contents of my plastic container cupboard.  Unfortunately, he ran into a snag with the sink plumbing and had to turn off the water. For most of the day. I was out for the morning with a friend, and we stopped by around noon to see how it was going! Unfortunately, my friend used the bathroom (no. 2) before we realized the water was still off. We were all embarrassed!

October 22 – Dear Diary, even though he said I didn’t have to remove all the stuff in the lower cupboards, I wish I had. Everything is covered in sawdust. Today the Handyman cut the shelves, removed the icky tile, and framed the wall that’s going to cover the extra electrical work. I used the tub to fill my kettle. Electrical work delayed while the Electrician vacations in Ireland!

I keep trying to reheat my tea in the breadbox since it’s living where the microwave used to be…

October 30 – Dear Diary, Exciting day! Electrician has arrived with a bin full of tools and my mother. Plenty of hemming and hawing through the evening while mother snoozed on the couch and I played Overwatch with Big Guy.

Tripped over tea kettle.

October 31 – Dear Diary, Noisy day! Drilling interrupted conversations over tea throughout the day. I found at least 9 piles of sawdust in a neat row snaking the length of the basement & laundry room, including bed folks sleep in. Dad accidentally spilled Mom’s water in the bed in a spectacular fashion. I will be sleeping on the couch tonight, but a small sacrifice for proper outlets.

November 1 – Dear Diary, massive wind storm through night, resulting in lots of banging and 7 power outages. I know this because every time it went off and came back on, the Xbox, microwave and stove would beep, and the fridge and printer powered on. Once  the wind died down, snoring from above could be heard. Finally turned on electric fan and slept for 3 hours. Minor miscommunication so one outlet had to move. Once Handyman approved the electrical work, he put up drywall and plaster. Trail of sawdust has migrated throughout the entire house, and I suspect I will be hand picking wood chips from the carpet for weeks! Next steps: choosing cupboard door handles and buying a microwave. Should ask Hubby to weigh in, but not optimistic we’ll find something we agree on. Wish us luck!

November 2 – Dear Diary, I took Hubby shopping. It’s too soon to talk about it…

Cee Neuner’s B&W Challenge: Kitchen

Tags

baking, black&white Photography, humour, music, Photo Challenge, photography

This week, the highly-anticipated mini kitchen renovation began this week. I said “adieu” to the 1980’s faux butcher block countertop and “welcome” to a simple charcoal gray countertop. The “vintage” tiles from 1969 are gone and framing done in preparation for electrical work this week. I’m so excited!

I was also excited to see that Cee Neuner’s black & white photo challenge this week is Things Found in the Kitchen.

Baking is love made edible. -Unknown

Even though we’re in the midst of renovations, meals still need to be prepared, and I’m scheduled to provide snacks for a ladies’ event on Wednesday, so I’m sneaking in some baking whenever I can!

This afternoon I baked cranberry streusel muffins and orange jack-o-lantern sugar cookies. Of course, I have to enjoy a cup of tea while I’m waiting.

I bake so I don’t punch people  -Unknown

Bon appetit!

Wilderness Wednesday: Photographers

Tags

humour, photography, Wilderness Wednesday

There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer.
– Ansel Adams

 

You don’t make a photograph just with a camera.
You bring to the act of photography all the pictures you have seen, the books you have read, the music you have heard, the people you have loved.
– Ansel Adams

And sometimes you just have to lay it all aside and just enjoy the view…

…which is exactly what I was doing when Big Guy took this photo of my camera!

Happy Wednesday!

Wilderness Wednesday: Fierce

Tags

chipmunks, nature, photography, Wilderness Wednesday

Though she be but little, she is fierce! – William Shakespeare, A Midsummers Night’s Dream

Happy Wednesday!

Gaming for Seniors

Tags

games, humour, midlife crisis, video games

As a parent, I normally take great pride in my children’s accomplishments. I’m pretty sure it’s a written rule somewhere in The Parenting Handbook…which was buried centuries ago on Oak Island. But I’m competitive too, and that’s not always a good thing. Especially when those accomplishments overlap. I’m pretty sure there’s also something in that handbook about being a gracious loser, and I am. Or at least I try really hard to be. We all have our moments of parenting fails, and that’s when we have to admit our mistakes and trust our kids are gracious with us.

Don’t worry – I’m not writing about a parenting fail. At least, not right now.

It’s no secret I like video games. The obsession interest took shape just before Big Guy moved out. He got me hooked on Guitar Hero. And since his Xbox 360 went with him, he conspired with Hubby to give me my very own. I’ve wasted hours of my life since.

Unlike Little Guy, I’m not obsessed with earning all the trophies and racing through the levels. I try to enjoy the journey. Until I get stuck and force one of my kids to get me over the hump. I’ve helped them through a few too, but at an ever decreasing rate. Worse, I’m at a higher level than both of them, but can’t seem to kill it quite the same way. And the algorithm groups me with players who are levels below me.

It can be frustrating!

In the Summer, after a particularly brutal game of Monopoly, I felt conflicted, so I wrestled through this question: When did my kids get better at everything than me (leaving me feeling like a washed up loser who is ready to sit in a senior centre and weave baskets while singing Kum Ba Ya)?

An aging gamer, Theo Karasavvas described gaming in his younger days as “breathing…then all of a sudden, after thousands of hours spent playing across genres and platforms, boredom hit me hard for the first time”. He assumed he need only find a different game to stimulate his interest once again. He also blamed more responsibilities and stress in life for ruining his appetite. But is his reasoning completely accurate?

Sure, our appetites changes as we grow older, but (sometimes sadly) so do other things. Like our priorities, our sense of accomplishment changes too. High scores pale compared to a lower body mass index, especially as muffins tops sprout exponentially with every decade.

The desire to compete also decreases with age. The core gaming market targets 18-30 year olds. Many of the first-person shooter-style games, like my favorites, Halo & Overwatch, take time to develop skills. Older gamers simply don’t want to invest that amount of time, and prefer slower-paced, or solo games.

And who can forget that our bodies and brains are slowing down with every passing birthday! We tend to buy into the lie that we can’t keep up with our younger counterparts and our struggles become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sometimes we can’t keep up, but gaming continue to have benefits as we age.  There are a number of reasons why I play video games. And as long as my kids don’t mind if I sometimes slow them down, I’m going to keep playing. This “senior gamer” prefers to call it – leveling up!

Happy weekend!

Friday Funny

Tags

humour, marriage

Last night, when Hubby called to say he was working late, I reminded him that I had to drop off Little Guy for youth. So he asked me to leave a note so he’d know where to find food. 

I did as I was asked!

Happy weekend

Wilderness Wednesday: Baby Ducks

Tags

birds, ducks, humour, nature, photography, summer, Wilderness Wednesday

Mama + Papa =

Babies

Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath. – Michael Caine

Happy Wednesday!

Za-what Now?

Tags

embarrassing moments, humiliation, humour, zumba

On my first full day of vacation, my dear friend, Bea*, who lives near the cottage we are renting, invited me to join her at a Zumba class.

What is zumba? The easiest definition I found was this: “Zumba combines high energy and motivating music with unique moves”. It is an exercise program designed in the 1990’s by a Columbian dancer/choreographer.

I went in fully expecting full-figured women in hot pink spandex aerobi-cizing like Richard Simmons. Instead, it was way less crazy more civilized. Our instructor was a 5 foot nothing, 90 pound sprite in black leggings, who floated across the floor. The studio itself only had one wall of shame mirrors – all the better to witness my humiliation.

“You know,” I confided in Bea, “I haven’t worked out since we trained for Mud Hero…6 years ago”. Bea just laughed and walked away.

We started “slow” – which is code for “getting our butts in gear”. This was no slow moving ballad but a hectic, hopped-up-on-caffeine kind of dance party. There was a lot of arm-flailing, side-stepping, twerking kind of stuff happening, as well as a lot of embarrassed grinning. I’m referring to my own reflection, of course. Everyone else moved in rhythm like a well-oiled dance ensemble. They were the cast of Swan Lake; I was clearly a goose!

I stepped to the back for a drink just as the instructor chimed, “That was a great warm up. Let’s get moving!” She was perky and enthusiastic, and clearly misguided if she thought I could do this. I nearly choked on my water.

Half-way through song 3, Bea whispered in my ear, “you’re picking this up quickly.  You’re a natural!” Natural disaster, maybe. I mean, when Mount St. Helens blew it’s top in 1980, it was an impression site, but then came all the fallout, and that mountain was never the same again.

Most of the next 30 minutes were a blur. The instructor kept calling out instructions – up, down, left, right…and naming body parts – elbows, hips, shoulders. She also used verbs – punch it, shake it, move it…and adjectives – sassy, sexy, light. Can anyone tell me how to make dying a long, torturous death look sexy?

By now, the heat in my face had reached volcanic proportions. The grinning pixie she-devil smiled and announced “we’re going to do the arm song next”. Everyone groaned. I wondered, what kind of new hell is this? “Keep them up” she yelled at me. Up? Up? I didn’t even know if they were still attached!

I was hugging the giant fan in the corner when they called my friend up to lead the class. Did I mention she works at this gym, and she attends this class for fun. For FUN! (masochist)! The clock said only 40 minutes had passed…and there was another 20 to go!

Bea led us in 2 songs, all focusing on leg work. I was still trying to keep up but every time she stood up, my legs flat-out refused. Jello had more structure. And when she dropped to the floor, I could feel the hysteria rising. It was a fight or flight response and I was clearly not ready to die. Fortunately, the song was cut off, which broke the tension and gave me a moment to hug the room fan again.

Every song seemed to be a combination of salsa, hip-hop, bollywood moves. I recognized a few from my belly dancing classes. I will never make it as an exotic dancer. And every song was bouncy and upbeat. I was just beat.

But it was also a lot of fun.

Occasionally, I caught on to the routine. I was still a goose next to the swans, but a little less uncoordinated. And even though I was still sweating at 3 a.m. and glowing like a red Christmas tree light, I wasn’t as sore as I thought I would be the next day. I fully expected to spend the remainder of the week shuffling between the kitchen and the bathroom, and waving my family off for time at the beach.

There’s another class tonight and I’m debating going.

https://giphy.com/gifs/funny-dance-dancing-wORSHzN5sGpRS/links

Happy Thursday!

*renamed to protect this hottie!

Wilderness Wednesday: Neighbour

Tags

cats, nature, photography, Wilderness Wednesday

Like a good neighbor, stay over there. – Grumpy Cat

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. ― Robert A. Heinlein

Happy Wednesday!