Hubby’s quote for the day: “I can destroy the porch and rebuild it in three days…if Home Depot has all the supplies I need.”
You can probably quote that old saying, “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for the rest of his life.” I would love to see it applied to the use of power tools…something like “teach a man to use tools and he’ll build for a day. Teach a man to use power tools, and he’ll keep his wife happy building for her for the rest of her life”. I strongly believe that the ability to use power tools is a bona fide superpower, and it’s the duty of the men in my life to occasionally put that power to good use (you certainly don’t want me to use it – it won’t end well!). Actually, my father-in-law offered to come up sometime this summer to tackle a project. So last weekend, Big Guy and my in-laws descended on our small house so the “guys” could “redo” the back porch! Sounds simple enough…but I confess I wasn’t optimistic. Every project we have undertaken in our home: a) runs into problems; b) takes longer than expected; and, c) never seems to get finished. For example, we laid a new floor over the disgusting and dated retro linoleum in the kitchen several years ago…but we didn’t take into consideration that the height of the floor would increase just enough that when we put the fridge back, we couldn’t re-install the cupboards over the fridge. I’ve filled the gaping hole with decorative dishes. It was that or frilly curtains (shudder). Or when we gutted part of the basement to insulate it, we got the flooring and drywall in, but didn’t get to the ceiling tiles. “Life is what happens after you are busy making plans. –John Lennon”
So the 4 guys strapped on their tool belts, grabbed a hammer, popped on their caps, wiped their noses on their sleeves, and (cue AC/DC Back in Black) in slow-motion style, headed out the back door to “do this thing” Monday morning! Within minutes, the back yard was littered with all the crap that we had been storing on the back porch, along with power cords and power tools. Ah, the sweet screech of a reciprocating saw and a grinder in the early (not too early) morning air.
In December, 2007, BBC News reported that “men are naturally more comedic than women because of the male hormone testosterone”. I don’t know if I believe that or not. There was certainly a lot of testosterone around, but when the guys donned their work “uniforms”, I think they also donned a grumpy and condescending attitude. Certainly there was no guffawing when the reciprocating saw blade broke…and they didn’t have a replacement…and no stores were open because it was a holiday…I did what any wise woman would do – I cleared out. In fact, I left town Tuesday afternoon. So while they dealt with rotten wood Monday morning, I dealt with some of the rotten apples strewn over the back yard. The wasps were pretty humourless too.
The deconstruction was completed on Monday. The construction should have been done yesterday…but Home Depot didn’t have all the supplies we needed. Maybe next week?