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Dear Quarantine Diary – Week 44

03 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Foolishness

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Tags

covid-19 diary, covid-19 humour, dear diary, halloween, humour


Dear Diary – What’s a little chaos between friends?

It’s been months since I’ve led worship, between the Death Flu and Covid, so I was a little nervous heading into rehearsal Thursday evening. It went pretty smoothly considering the extra distractions, and I felt like my training as a Mom and the many years of concert band practice (& that brief period of time where I struggled in a Dixieland band) kicked in and saved the night.

For me, at least.

First there was a kid playing guitar and singing loudly behind me, but rarely on time. I had to concentrate on my own timing. BUT I’m NOT complaining because this was a learning experience for him, and a time of worship. It’s so precious to hear young people worshipping and exciting to know that I can have a part in training and encouraging as they grow.

Second, there were a few younger children having a grand time screaming and playing in the sanctuary, and for me, that high-pitched screaming…the kind that sounds like someone is being murdered, is like fingernails on a chalkboard for someone else. BUT I’m NOT complaining…because there was joy in the house of the Lord.

I’ve heard musicians say that if the rehearsal is rough, the service will be smooth. I’m not sure that’s always the case. Sure, I only sang the wrong words 5 times (in one song) during rehearsal, but things can still go wrong. I sang the right words to that song during the service, but I messed up somewhere else.

Our church uses tracks. On the plus side, it helps keep us together and we can add instruments that we don’t have. We can also adjust the volume of each instrument in the mix, which is helpful when there’s a zealous electric guitar playing on the track!

It’s been just over a year since I started using them, and as the leader, I’m responsible to set them up. Which I did for rehearsal. But then our drummer found a replacement so he could play guitar, which was a good move as it created a better sound overall. But it meant I had to adjust the tracks accordingly Sunday morning. And that’s where I messed up.

I hit “play” on the last track at the end of the service, but while it said it was playing, there was no sound. No click to keep time. No cues to tell us when to sing. Nothing. Until suddenly there was a zealous electric guitar. And only electric guitar. But the service had to go on, so I started playing keys and singing when I knew it was time to come in, See, years of playing with no tracks has advantages too…I don’t depend on them.

It wasn’t until we were starting verse 2 that I realized what had happened. In addition to adjusting the volume on the instruments, you can also hit “solo” and only that instrument will play. Guess what I did?

I timed it well…my leaning over and pushing buttons so that the sanctuary was suddenly filled with a fuller sound at a good time. Hubby and Eldest Son, both church audio technicians, said they didn’t notice. But if you watch the service on YouTube, you will see me fiddle with the iPad a few times. I kept a poker face (not my usual grimace). It wasn’t perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. We’re not perfect; we’re worshipping a perfect God.

Dear Diary – Eldest son came for a visit on the weekend. It was short but lovely! And he brought me a pumpkin. Sunday afternoon we all took part in planning and carving a family jack-o-lantern. And when you’re a family of gamers…

Dear Diary – It took hours of my life. I read, and re-read, and re-read the instructions again and again. Then I had Hubby read the instructions. He also read and re-read them again and again. But I finally sewed a tea pot cozy.

I don’t even like them.

Still, I figure if we can tackle a pattern together and succeed, we can tackle almost anything!

Dear Diary – We finally had our new HVAC and water heater installed. Everything was functioning well despite being over 20 years old, but we didn’t want to wait to lose heat in the dead of winter. So we receievd several estimates and finally signed a contract in September. Between part delays, shortage of workers, and getting Covid, the installation kept getting delayed. It’s been a mild Fall so it hasn’t been an issue.

Hubby was on vacation for the 2 days that the guys were here, so he could answer questions and get instructions. And enjoy a good laugh with the boys when they found these blasts from the past hidden on a shelf above the furnace…

They also found these…

It was mostly a pile of covers, a few pages of creepy ads from back pages, and one raunchy European magazine…all mid-1970s. In 1978, I was 4 years old.

We purchased this house in 2001 so I can breathe a sigh of relief that this smut didn’t belong to my beautiful baby boys. And it never will. I shredded all the sultry photos and salacious stories! These pieces of history can easily be thrown away.

Character is what man is in the dark.

D.L. Moody

Dear Diary – It isn’t often that I can think of a smart-aleck response in the spur of the moment, and one that gets back at Youngest Son for all the short jokes. I’m not short…I’m petite!

We were fixing our plates for dinner and Youngest Son asked something and I answered. Shocked, confused, and slightly embarrassed, he replied, “Did I say that out loud?”.

I immediately (I’m proud to say) asked him, “are you OK? Is the air too thin up there?”

On an aside, Hubby doesn’t think “petite” is the right adjective for a short person. I like it because it connotes someone who may be small in stature, but also someone with a small frame, a tiny waist, a dainty demeanour. I realize short doesn’t have to connote someone who is round like a blueberry, but I’d rather view myself as a fairy princess than plump fruit!

And why do we use fruit to describe women? I’ve never heard a man called a watermelon. It seems men’s bodies are described in relation to what they do rather than food, like “swimmer’s body”.

Shouldn’t we be focusing on being in shape rather than a shape?!?

I think the next someone who refers to my body as a fruit, might just get pureed. I’m not a pear or an avocado, or a peach. I’m a woman!

Dear Diary – I didn’t dress up for Halloween this year. It was a wet Halloween too, so we didn’t have many kids come to the door.

More chocolate for me!

The week after Halloween: Don’t act like you didn’t have your kid’s chocolate for breakfast!

Unknown

Happy Monday!

02 Monday Nov 2020

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Food, Foolishness

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

#whatsinmycup, halloween, tea, what's in my cup


It was snowing when I went to bed last night, and a frosty wind is blowing over the snow-covered ground this morning. Only two days ago, we were peeling off our sweaters and rolling in the leaves.

What a way to start a Monday…Yuck!

Yesterday, as I drove to the pharmacy, I couldn’t help but notice the contrast of Halloween decorations and Christmas decorations littering people’s front yards. I wonder if people’s minds are also in the midst of making the shift from pumpkin-spiced whatevers to peppermint whatevers.

Not this old girl… Why rush into Christmas? Why not savour the shift in the seasons? My friend and I, we will be hanging on to our pumpkin-spiced chai and munching on mini chocolate bars…for a few more weeks…even if we have to dig out our winter woolies!

Happy Monday everyone! Go put on your kettle, and may your tea be stronger than whatever Mondays throws at you!

What’s in My Cup: Monster Mash

26 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Uncategorized

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Tags

#whatsinmycup, halloween, tea, what's in my cup, whatsinmycup


Thanks to Covid-19, we won’t have any little ghosts or ghouls (or when I was a kid, fairy princess ballerinas)! But that doesn’t mean we can’t still have a party – a tea party. Well…for one!

Monster Mash, from David’s tea is a spook-tacular. This caffeine-free rooibos tea contains pumpkin, cinnamon, apple, sugar, carrots, ginger, cardamom, clove buds, and nutmeg. Purple moon and pink witch hat sugar sprinkles (pumpkin pie & butter flavour) make it delightfully “festive”!

This tea has received mixed reviews. Some found it too sweet, and it appears sugar and sprinkles were not originally in the blend. Reviewers comments also included phrases like “fresh & fruity”, “Chai & Spicy” or “Herbal & Arromatic”. I didn’t know what to expect!

After steeping for 4-5 minutes, I was ready to sip this burnt orange cuppa. The aroma reminded me more of an apple dessert than pumpkin. Still…yum! This tisane really delivered a warming apple cider flavour with a touch of heat from the ginger. I could also taste carrot, but pumpkin, not so much. It was on the sweeter side, but sometimes I crave something a little sweet, especially after dinner. It’s a great way to avoid a sugary dessert. Overall, I was very happy. But if I had to choose a “pumpkin-y” tea, I would choose Pumpkin Chai over this!

Now everything’s cool, Drac’s a part of the band
And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

Leonard Capizzi / Bob Pickett, The Monster Mash

Let’s party!

What’s In My Cup: Magic Potion

19 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Food, Foolishness

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Tags

#whatsinmycup, food, food photography, halloween, humour, tea, teaaddict


She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign, She said “What you need is love potion number nine” Love Potion Number 9, The Searchers
David’s Tea Magic Potion tea isn’t a love potion, but you might just love it! Or your kids or grandkids will. This blue raspberry infusion contains currants, apples, rosehips, butterfly pea flowers, raspberries, natural flavouring (kiwi, blackberry, bilberry), blackberries, and extract. Butterfly pea flowers are a Southeast Asian flower that naturally turn tea blue. After steeping for 5 minutes, as recommended, this tea had a light berry aroma and a sweet, slightly tart raspberry/blackberry flavour. I really liked it!
The squirrels, however, didn’t like me taking photos in the yard and they rained all kinds of curses down on me! 🙂 So why is it called “Magic Potion”? This tea changes colour! Just add a few drops of lemon juice and the colour changes from indigo to violet. I also found the tartness from the additional lemon enhanced the flavour of the berries, making it sweeter.David’s tea suggests it as “a refreshing caffeine-free iced tea or a berry-packed nightcap”. They also call it “a mood ring in your mug”.
There’s no mistaking what kind of potion I need. Caffeine – for alertness and rejuvenation. ― Amy Alward, Madly
Happy Monday!

WPC:Transmogrify

03 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Photography

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

DP Challenge, halloween, Photo Challenge, Weekly Photo Challenge


transmogrify,” which means, “to change in appearance or form, especially strangely or grotesquely; transform.”

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“[W]here there is no imagination there is no horror.”
~Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet, 1887

To see more Transmogrification, click here.

5 Hints to Help Harnass Halloween Fears…for Parents!

31 Monday Oct 2016

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Foolishness

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

children, halloween, humour, parenting


Great Scott!

It’s Halloween again, and a scary time of year for parents. The  high expectations for award-winning costumes and large chocolate hauls are just the start to this harrowing holiday.

“Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.” – Shawshank Redemption

Whether this is your first Halloween as a parent, or you are a veteran, here are a few helpful hints to help you survive this spine-tingling season.

1.  Be prepared.

Are you afraid you’ll be up at all hours of the night with small children traumatized by the Reese’s PB Cup advertisement? You should be. Small kids, in particular, have difficulty differentiating between fantasy and reality, and they will be bombarded with gory, ghostly ghouls on a daily basis. Take heart. They will outgrow it, right about the time they are ready to go to trick-or-treating alone with their friends, or worse, to an unchaperoned party.  Stock up on caffeinated beverages to help you stay awake. Wear your running shoes so you can run down the culprits egging your house (even if you fail to catch them, you’ll make a point: I’m old but don’t mess with me!) Keep your cell phone charged and your hamstrings stretched. Your fantasy of a great night’s sleep on Halloween night will one day be a reality, and your children will be living this ordeal instead.

2. Accept the things you cannot change.

When it comes to costumes, try to relax. Just because you spent $50 on an adorable Disney costume and your child adamantly refuses to wear is no reflection on your success or failure as a parent. Your kids will find multiple ways to blame you for their emotional scars, regardless of how hard you tried to make a Barney costume that wasn’t frigtening (there’s no such thing by the way – Barney is and will forever be kinda’ scary)! Just “let it go, let it go…rise like the break of dawn”.

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Yes. Someday I WILL show this to your wife!

3. Be Courageous

Perhaps whoever started the tradition of gutting and carving pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns was an idiot. Hmm…let’s combine knives, fire and eager little fingers, said no responsible parent ever. But at some point, kids get big enough they won’t be satisfied just scooping goo and drawing the face. They want to wield the knives themselves. At some point, you’ll have to cut the apron strings and relinquish the blade. The first cut is the deepest, but if you stay confident and talk them through it, they will succeed with a great sense of pride…and all their digits!

j-halloween-1992-547x683

Big Guy in 1992…now he wields a chain saw next to powerlines for a living. That’s scary!

4. It’s Ok to Eat Your Kids’ Candy.

Snag a piece or 2 discreetly from your kids’ candy while they’re in bed. You’ll need the energy when they wake you from a dead sleep at 2 a.m. (Plus, you burned it off walking around the neighbourhood in the rain). Finally, as much as they declare their love for you, they probably won’t share their mini chocolate bars. Instead, you will be showered with cast-off candies like rock-hard candy corn and those weird caramels that come in the orange & black wax-paper wrappers (i.e., the same stuff we cast-off and our parents ate). Don’t feel guilty – it’s the Circle of Life.

1970s-kerri-kisses-375x500

#2 on http://www.toptenz.net’s Top 10 Worst Halloween Candies

5. If You Can’t Beat Them…Frighten them!

Little ones think it’s cool when parents dress up too. But eventually, they reach an age when being in public with you on any given day is positively terrifying…for them! These are the “fun” years…for you. Funnel all the merciless humiliation you endure by simply “being” on the other 364 days of the year into this one day.  Don’t be afraid to let out your inner princess or Rock Star! Hide  in their closet. Threaten to post their first bath photos on the internet. Why? Because you are an adult, and sometimes your inner child needs to come out and play.

Costumes

Note the cardboard box hiding Little Guy’s identity…

Remember – You are not alone. There are others like you. The person standing in line behind you at the grocery store, the one who looks like the walking dead, that is probably a frightened parent too. Like you, they have spent the last 4 weeks gearing up for Halloween. They will likely spend the next 3 weeks sleep-deprived and strung out on their children’s cast-off candy. Their bodies are enduring long hours hunched up over sewing machines and standing in long lines to buy glitter. Their fingers are scarred by pumpkin cutters and glue guns. They are walking the floors at night comforting their trembling babes and worrying about real monsters prowling the streets at night.Their ears are deafened by screams of terror and delight. Tonight, we will walk miles in the bone-aching evening chill, dutifully clutching pillow cases of loot that will never touch our lips.  Do it for your kids but don’t be afraid!

“Nothing spreads like fear” – Contagion

Happy Halloween!

 

The Spine-Tingling Red Satin Story

31 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Foolishness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

costumes, family, halloween, humour, shopping, sweets


Last week I took Little Guy to the party store to peruse costume paraphernalia in the hopes of inspiring him to choose something cheap easy fun. It turned out the scariest thing in the store wasn’t the gory zombie decorations or the 6’ vampire statue looming over me at the entrance. No, I encountered something even scarier than the horde of freakishly upbeat teenager girls, who were texting in the check-out lines, instagramming in the dressing room line, and just plain blocking the aisles.

It involved red satin. The costume choices of these girls, pardon my fuddy-duddiness, left me feeling slightly terrified on their behalf. While I completely understand the allure of red satin (my eyes went there too), I suddenly had visions of drunk teenage girls at unchaperoned parties dressed like fantasy whores where the high probability of something more horrible than nip-slips and cheek leaks would transpire. And for a fleeting second, I was thankful that I don’t have a daughter.

And then the shopping trip took a horrifying turn. Go ahead and call me judgmental…I deserve it.

As Little Guy and I tried to skirt around a box of plastic tridents and witches’ brooms to escape a pack of cackling teens, our path was blocked by a woman who, in my humble opinion (and for reasons that I won’t share), had no business shopping for a red satin corset for public viewing!

Go ahead and call me judgmental! With her hapless husband by her side, bingo wings flapping in the air, she was pulling apart packages of shiny red satin and ribbon rosettes like a kid opening packages on Christmas morning. I took a step back as her elbow grazed my cheek, stepping on Little Guy’s foot. He gave out a sharp yelp, which was heard over the giggling gaggle of girls by an unfortunate gangly teenage stock clerk. He stepped in our direction, a knight in beige gabardine and a blue vest, only to be trapped in the vice-like grip of the female patron.  Little Guy and I were now completely surrounded and forced to watch her conversation with the clerk.

“Sweetie,” she said in a husky “smoker’s” voice, “do you have this in an Extra-Large?” She held up a glossy rectangle of fabric. Then she opened it, and pressing the garment against her ample bosom, added: “I don’t think it quite fits”. As the clerk’s shoulders rose and his eyes widened in horror, I turned away. I have seen things in my life that I wish I could un-see… Sadly, my ears can still hear the sharp intake of his breath. Before he could answer, she added “If you don’t have red, I would take white.”

I imagine it looked like this…

Little Guy was cowering behind me. I knew that once he saw things, he could never un-see them. He told me, “I don’t like it here. Can we go home…now?” It was time to take charge. I had survived mountain biking. I had survived Mud Hero. And I had survived getting stuck in the bathtub. Darn it, we were going to survive this!

I quickly glanced around, looking for any means of escape. At this point, I was willing to humiliate myself by clamoring over the box of tridents and ending up in a Youtube video. But then, a glimmer of hope…Two of the teenage girls had moved away from the pack, were admiring something fluffy with wings. I grabbed Little Guy’s hand in a death grip, and in slow motion, I sprinted forward toward that small gap between a perky blonde and a perky brunette. Together, we flew down aisle #1, past the wall of costume pictures, and we leapt with surprising agility over a knight’s shield and out the exit.

Warm sunlight washed over our ashen faces. Little Guy squeezed my hand. Looking up into my eyes, he solemnly vowed to “never go in there again”! I was amazed at his maturity.

I understand the unmistakable gravitational pull toward things that are shiny and pretty. I also gravitate toward the slutty costumes, desperately wanting to believe that I’ve still got “it” (whatever “it” is because I’m pretty sure I never had “it” in the first place)! But I have to be realistic. I live in Canada and they’re predicting snow tonight, so I would be far wiser (for a number of reasons upon which I will not elaborate) to simply don a snowsuit…so Little Guy can “trick-or-treat” longer and acquire enough candy that I can pilfer a few without his knowledge, and lament my bygone “red satin corset days”! It’s really in the best of interest of the public.

(hat tip: Tastefully Offensive, GIF by Reddit user oPHILcial ) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/14/little-girl-ice_n_4274728.html

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