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Dear Diary – It’s been a quiet week, watching the grass grow. Or not. Every morning, with my tea cup in hand, I faithfully water in my nightie and robe. Even in the front yard. I’m just trying to add a little class to the neighbourhood.

You can take the girl out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the girl.

Dear Diary – It’s true. They really will televise almost everything. That, or people are so desperate for sports that they’ll watch anything. After spending Saturday of the long weekend shovelling and raking a giant bag of dirt, Hubby and I crashed in front of the television. CBS sports was broadcasting the American Cornhole League Championship. For those who don’t know, Cornhole is pretty much a backyard game of tossing a bean bag (filled with corn, hence the name) into a hole in a board, across the way. It’s one of the few sports where you can compete in leggings and flip-flops.

This particular championship was sponsored by a sausage company. Some of the spectators (yes, there were fans in the stands affirming my belief that some people are desperate for sports) had banners. They jeered. They cheered. They especially cheered when the competitor threw a “4-bagger” in their round. In cornhole terms, that means they got all 4 bean bags in the hole. In my experience, 4-bagger was the number of bags needed to go over a girl/boy’s head before you could make out because she’s soooo ugly.

Speaking of ugly, I’ve been wrestling with a song about dating during Covid. It’s loosely based on Big Guy’s experience. He was scheduled for an in-person meeting with a girl he met online the week Covid restrictions went into effect. From what I’ve heard, she’s lovely. Dating, however, is a challenge when everything is closed. Especially during Canadian winter. So while they’ve been “dating” for over a year, they haven’t actually met in person that many times.

I’m open to suggestions with my song, In too Deep:

Verse 1

It started with a campfire and a couple 10 mile walks
They keep 6 meters apart which makes it hard to talk
The mask makes it hard to see her face, does she have a wonky smile?
Covid measures can’t last long, he’ll see her by and by

Verse 2

Tucked in a yellow touque, her hair is tied up in a bun
Mittens on her fingers ready for some winter fun
Her figure resembles the Michelin man, she’s thick and round and short
Still he’s falling for this girl, he loves the way she snorts

Chorus:
Dating during Covid means a blind date o’er and o’er
Until the pandemic is over, he doesn’t know what’s in store
She could be buck-toothed and ugly, the reveal will be a treat
But by then, oooo, the boy’s in too deep!

Verse 3

The city is in lockdown, the flower store’s not open
He’s trying to woo his lady ‘cuz he’s still hopin’
That this girl he met online , well maybe she’s “the one”
He can’t wait to see her when this nightmare is done.

Verse 4

Restaurants are empty, there’s no picture at the show
Right now, Tim Horton’s is the only place to go
When she sees him, her eye sparkles, it might be made of glass
When she finally sees him, it might be a hard pass.

I think we’re all just trying to find that one who will simply love us for the awesome freaking disasters that we are.

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