I discovered a new way to feel “old” – buy new technology!
This weekend, I finally broke down and purchased a new gaming system. Our Xbox 360 has been acting up…and we’ve lost multiple worlds. Including the one I featured in photos a few weeks ago!
Step 1: Purchase
We went to the store – you know the kind?! Colourful wall-to-wall displays with weird gadgets, geek wear, and video game cases. Large screens hung from the ceiling while distracting videos played in HD. A weird 30 year old man with a pasty white belly oozing from the gap between his tee and shorts, rifling through a rack of used games. And let’s not overlook the gangling 20 year old retailer in a bright Marvel t-shirt.
I took Big Guy with me because he speaks “geek” more fluently than I do, especially when it comes to tech. I vaguely remember starting the conversation and nodding intelligently while circus music piped in my head. By the middle of the transaction, the clerk asked questions, I turned and stared blankly at Big Guy (who answered with a monotone “yes” while texting someone else), and nodded “yes” to the clerk. By the end, I was numb and confused. I remember swiping my card and quietly following Big Guy from the store with a big, heavy bag and a very light wallet. A few words have floated to the surface since then…Gears of War, Halo, terra-something, cloud. That’s about it!
Step 2: Set up the System
Big Guy started the set-up, and then he went out. He told me to “just text” if we ran into any problems. I’m sure he was less than 2 blocks away when we hit the first hiccup. There were more words, like passkey and lockdown. I had to set a password (which I wrote down as I went along) using a series of finger twerks with buttons, bumpers and triggers… and then my password locked me out. Five minutes later I discovered that while I wanted a “7” (left bumper), I had tapped the right bumper, and finally, when I made the correction to my paper copy to accommodate my mistake, I wrote down the wrong number…again.
We struggled with buttons controls to register it. None of them seemed to work – so we tried them all. We did it eventually with the minimum use of colourful language explosions. At least in this area, I showed signs of aging gracefully. And then the power kicked off!
The t.v., the system, and the answering machine all went off…but not the controllers. They continued to wink at us smugly. By then over 16 texts had passed back and forth, and I rec’d the text “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” I had to answer truthfully – “I think we broke it”. He told me to try the touch sensor…it doesn’t have one!
When it regained consciousness, we continued to navigate down the rabbit hole. It made my profile pic a mafia panda wearing heavy bling. Hubby thought it was funny! I texted a photo of it to Big Guy who texted back “Ahahaha”! – I was not amused!
Fortunately it had saved my avatar from the old system and I could use it instead. My avatar is this cute girl in a plaid skirt, black boots and a red t-shirt that says “I love Minecraft”. I am also wearing a Halo helmet, which shall remain on forevermore. Let’s just say, my avatar’s appearance so startled Little Guy when I took the helmet off, he hollered for me to “put it back on…quick!”. My feelings were hurt. I think the Panda was better.
We added users. Little Guy became a cute hamburger. Hubby, a weird yellow 6-sided shape with a face. I got stuck in Edge. We had to update the controller (even though it is brand new)! After several hours, an extended break to clear our heads, and over 20 texts, the system was set up.
It was finally time to start uploading actual games. I was forewarned…this could days…
