If you like affection, one in three squirrels makes an excellent companion. – Bernhardt GoetzHappy Wednesday!
Dear Diary -It’s that time of year again: the big stink. A storm blew through just before I came back to the city and knocked thousands of apples down. They are small, hard and rife with blemishes, and in the July heat, quickly turn to cider. Last year I cut and froze bags of apple slices and I made apple jelly. I nearly melted in the process. This year I picked and froze a bag of whole apples for jelly…when it’s much cooler! Saturday was among one of the hottest days. The three of us bundled up to protect ourselves from the wasps, and filled every garbage can, bin and box I could find. Tuesday night we dragged them to the curb for a yard waste truck to pick them. Little Guy kicked the first bin, sending a thick plume of fruit flies in my face. The trick is to hold your breath so you don’t inhale them. I wonder if they can lay eggs in your brain?
The squirrels, however, are in 7th Heaven. As was the young skunk I spied strolling in the yard one morning. I wonder if he’s the fellow who started burrowing under the front steps. I filled in his hole with dirt and orange peel. So far, no further excavation. The birds have visited too: robins, cardinals, blue jays, gold finches and even a woodpecker.
The cutest visitor was a brown baby bunny (“bb”). A mean, black squirrel chased him into the bushes. I was just “awing” when bb scampered up behind the squirrel. The squirrel stared at bb, and they nuzzled noses. Then the squirrel started chasing bb around the lilac tree several times and I realized they were playing. It was like watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon. What’s up Doc?
Dear Diary – I really thought this headline had nailed it. I was browsing through my WordPress Reader, and I thought it said this:
Record Temperatures, Long Lines and Increasing Sarcacity Will Greatly Test the Patience of Americans This Summer.
Now, I know that Sarcacity isn’t a word, but it sounds like it could be. The actual word was scarcity. But you gotta admit, unlike my blog stats, sarcasm is on the rise. Just browse Facebook posts for 30 seconds and you’ll see I’m right.
Dear Diary – This week I sang at an outdoor worship service, all good old-timey songs. I endured grocery shopping with all the city folk who don’t know how to follow arrows. I went through the Tim Horton’s drive thru twice, and enjoyed a sticky doughnut to celebrate my late friend’s birthday! She would have approved.
I sold 6 face masks to 2 friends, and I enjoyed getting caught up. I pulled out some Fall fabric – might as well look fashionable!
Mom tells me my Dad bought some Christmas fabric. Stocking stuffers anyone!?!
I went looking for my 2019 tax documents, which I never found, and ended up cleaning out 2 boxes filled with tax forms starting in 1997! I earn the same salary! $0! I also did another drawing lesson. I’d better keep my day job.
We had to tidy our laundry room for the gas guy and I’m taking bets on how long it will take us to fill the space with useless junk. The odds are not in my favour.
I’m heading back to my folks, with or without Little Guy, but my laptop is coming with me, so he might be too. We repurposed a Scrabble board for a game my Aunt made using another repurposed board that went missing. My Mom found the missing board the next day! Murphy’s Law.
Dear Diary –
Laurel & Hardy. Lucy & Ethel. Laverne & Shirley. Shaggy & Scooby-Doo.
All comedic classic duos that captured our hears and made a lasting impression.
I have 2 more…teen squirrels. A couple of red-headed, thundering scamps whose adorable cuteness make your heart melt (so that you overlook the poop). As each day passes, these rascals are exploring their world more and more. They can hang upside from the brick and swing from my chair like nobody’s business, and my clothespins have never tasted so good.
We’re not sure 100% if there are 2 or 3 teens, or if Mama has finally lost her baby belly and she’s joining in the fun, but they sure are entertaining!
Yeah, buddy! I’ve got my eye on you!
The day after the snow fell, the leaves gave up their will to live and dropped in one collective clump all over the neighbourhood. And even though we received WAY more snow than usual, it melted, leaving the landscape a brown and barren place. The only sign of life outside my window has become my muse…
Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know. – Oscar Wilde
Easy, Breezy, Beautiful…Cover Squirrel!
Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer. – Rachel Joy Scott
Proud Mama Moment: Big Guy is an arborist, and therefore often crosses paths with woodland creatures. Most the of the time, those creatures are complaining about the noise. Last week, he came across a very cold baby squirrel lying at the base of a tree. This little one snuggled right in. Big Guy found a shelter that would take this baby. Unfortunately, the story doesn’t have a happy ending, and this little one was too sick or injured, and he didn’t survive the day.
While it made us both sad, I’m so proud of my “lumberjack” with a big heart. XOXO
Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves.
– Mason Cooley
But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. – Daniel Handler,
I have a habit of filling quiet moments with stupid chatter rather than intelligent vocal contributions to society. – Jessica Thompson
Love is all the small moments. It is what fills the quiet. – Jessica Shrivington
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. ―
I was chased Friday evening on the way to my car by a vicious red flash that barked at me and didn’t slow down when I stamped my feet and yelled.
My first thought was “rabid squirrel!!”
So I hightailed it straight back in the house.
Once I sufficiently embarrassed myself, I started to wonder if it was one of the babies from a nest in the back. I must have terrified it!
We found it hunkered down behind a garbage a can, shaking from the adrenaline rush.
Sunday afternoon, I watched one unsuccessfully tying to climb the porch post. Its legs were shaky and unsteady, and nearly shook him right off the railing. His feet were too big for his body, and he awkwardly lowered himself, sliding more than climbing really, to the ground. Later, I heard scuttling and barking again at ground level, so I cautiously peeked over the railing to find, not one, but 3 babies!
Sometimes, the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.
Every year, Evil Squirrel hosts the Annual Contest of Whatever. It is a contest that requires mad artistic flair and…well, that’s pretty much it. And usually a requirement or two, which this year was this: “A squirrel walks into a bar”. Little Guy and I won the random draw for our entry 2 years ago. So without further ado, here is our entry for the 6th Annual Contest of Whatever…
* * *
…a dyslexic squirrel…
…walks into a bra….
Disclaimer: No squirrel was harmed in the making of this unusual blog post. In fact, he was handsomely compensated for his acting debut. The only thing that was harmed was my frying pan, when I neglected it briefly, scorching dinner (which Hubby ate anyway). Hubby was compensated with homemade chocolate chip cookies.