Dear Quarantine Diary – Week #12

Tags

cooking, covid-19 diary, covid-19 humour, dear diary, humour, parenting, spring cleaning, teenagers

Dear Diary – Spring is officially here, which supposedly means it’s time to tackle dreaded Spring cleaning (and I can’t say “I’m too busy” during quarantine )! So I pulled out boxes from under my bed and exterminated some dust bunnies. I sorted through a box of odds and ends and found some miscellaneous photos. Most were tossed out, but one out-take made me laugh out loud.

I had asked the photographer at my wedding to do a large family group shot including Big Guy, Hubby, my parents, brother and sister-in-law, grandparents, aunts, uncles and first cousins. I don’t know who took this snap but bless them!

Yup! That’s my mom giving my dad the ol’ bunny ears…

There’s one in every crowd!

Dear Diary – Complaining about my covid weight is like someone complaining about a politician when they didn’t vote. Especially when I’m inhaling goodies. So, I’ve been trying to find healthier experiments options. This week I tried eggplant parmigiana. It was much more labour intensive than I anticipated considering it’s 3 basic ingredients: eggplant, sauce and cheese. I ended up with such a pile of dishes: 2 colanders (for salting and draining the eggplant), 2 saucepans (because the first one was way too small), 3 bowls, a frying pan and a casserole dish (to bread, fry and store the eggplant), 1 dish to bake, and all the assorted utensils to cut, measure and grate. While it turned out beautifully, there was one problem: it turns out I don’t like eggplant.

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m fat

Yesterday I made a chicken pie from scratch. I also created another mess, albeit smaller than Monday’s mess.

But unlike the eggplant, this I liked! I mean, what’s not to like about butter and lard… Before you condemn me for not eating healthier, it did have vegetables inside.

Dear Diary – I’ve started sleeping with the new mouth guard. It won’t help me win any beauty contests. It takes me forever to get to sleep because it gives me a headache and it tastes slightly of perfume. Also, I am afraid of choking and drowning on my spit in my sleep. When I said I wanted to die peacefully in my sleep, this isn’t quite what I had in mind.

Dear Diary – This weekend I get to meet the physical terrorist therapist for physical torture therapy on my shoulder, now that I’ve been shot! Hubby went to her a few months ago. I take comfort in the fact that she’s shorter than me. It means maybe I can take her on. Put ’em up!

Dear Diary – Hubby and I have been pvr-ing and binge watching the Great British Baking Show. We’ve watched some of the same seasons more than once. Partly because we don’t remember who wins.

When did our interests switch from action adventure to cooking?

I suppose both genres could have explosions….and steamy buns.

There are other problems with watching so many British shows:

1. It makes me want to bake.
2. The voice in my head develops a British accent.
3. Hubby and I start using phrases out loud, in a British accent, which really annoys Little Guy.

I guess that last one really isn’t a problem. 😉

Dear child – I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to be funny. Love Mom

Spring Cleaning (with a little jazz?)

Tags

garden, humour, Spring, spring cleaning

The snow has finally melted on the back patio (that we never use) and the evidence of my laziness is exposed. Rather than climb the stairs to dump the guinea pigs’ water in the toilet (when it was full of soft, soggy shavings), I developed the unfortunate habit of taking one step out the back door, and chucking it…

Consequently, my back porch and patio looked like a cotton field ready for harvest. In addition, the sun had dried the soaked stuffing to the concrete and it couldn’t just be swept up. I had to scrape my toe across each and every fleck of fluff to loosen it before flipping it into the dustpan…and since I’ve been too lazy busy to go buy a pair of runners, I had to do it in my new sparkly $7 Mary Jane’s. It quickly became a dull dance, so I decided to try and make it more interesting by adding a few jazz steps: Rond de jambe, step, rond de jambre, step, chassé, chassé, chassé, smile…By the end, all I was missing was a spin and some spooky fingers…and something to throw at the robin that was chuckling loudly from the apple tree. Surely he had more important things to do that watch this old bird bust a few moves….

Saturday was even nicer, and just like every year since we moved in, I vowed that this would be the year that I would wage war on the weeds and win! So I slapped on some sunscreen and put my booty in action. I spent hours cutting and laying garden cloth, shovelling cedar wood chips, cutting down small rogue trees, and generally just getting down and getting dirty. It was not as much fun as Mud Hero…I was rewarded with a Baconator Burger for dinner.

By Sunday, my back and my booty were both bargaining for a whole morning in bed, boasting aches and pains. They both lost and I battled my way to church, a little late. They were both rewarded to most of the afternoon on the couch…

There are still days of Spring cleaning to do outside, but it will have to wait until my back and booty bounce back…that, and it’s supposed to snow tomorrow… (I may need more bacon!)

The “Blob”

Tags

baking, cooking, food, humour, spring cleaning, sweets

It started at what I thought was a brilliant idea. I’m Spring Cleaning my cupboards, transferring all the baking goods from bags and boxes to plastic containers. I would have fewer dried goods to transfer if I made a small batch of Krispie squares. I would use up a bag of mini marshmallows and a box of cereal!

So I melted the margarine in the microwave and tossed the marshmallows in it. I threw it in the microwave and walked away. Did you know that marshmallows can explode? I know eggs can explode, especially hard-boiled eggs in the shell (no, I wasn’t the one who tried this – I’m just the one who had to clean it up!), and microwavable buttered popcorn can fly when there’s a hole in the bag. But I’ve never seen marshmallows fly…

These marshmallows had to be “industrial strength” no-name marshmallows because they wouldn’t melt. I put them in for one minutes and tried to stir them…they were a sticky blob. I put them in for another minute…I put them in for another minute (we’re up to 3 minutes if your math is as bad as mine). These marshmallows were starting to look like they could come to life, like some kind of cheesy black and white monster movie! I feel like I’m part of the plotline from the 1958 Steve McQueen movie, “The Blob”: “An alien life form resembling a giant blob of jelly, consumes everything in its path as it grows and grows”.

By this point, I’ve moved beyond slightly perplexed to very annoyed (and a little afraid). I learned how to make these squares when I was barely a teenager (OK, stove-top method) and I have made them oodles of time with my kids…

…so I added the cereal. I know, I should have heated the marshmallows longer, but come on? They should have melted in 45 seconds and I had kitchen cupboards to clean! I started to stir….the cereal won’t stir in. It’s just kind of sticking to the outside of this solid, gelatinous mass of monster-movie proportions. It’s hideous! I grabbed a steak knife…if not for self-defence, then perhaps to cut “The Blob” into smaller chunks to combine the cereal with it.

I managed to press the Blob into a greased pan and crush it into submission. Hubby managed to cut a piece…on a cutting board…with the pizza cutter. While it’s colourful and pretty tasty, it’s very chewy, like taffy. And I’m still a little worried – it could still take its revenge…

“Indescribable…Indestructible…Nothing can stop it!”

Adventures in Spring Cleaning: Day Three

Tags

bugs, cleaning, home, humour, spider, spring cleaning

Yup! I’m back at it…again! But this time I have a sense of urgency about it. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye…and there really is something there. Every year we have an infestation of little white moths in the house, but this year it’s been a bumper crop! I think I should invest in the tissue companies because we’re burning through the boxes, wiping greasy moth smudges off the walls. Hubby did some internet research and found out that this particular species eats dried goods and flowers…but even armed with that information, if it is indeed correct, we don’t know the source…so more Adventures in Spring Cleaning…starting in the kitchen…again!

I started with the crisper drawers in the fridge. I am aware that moths cannot survive in a fridge, but the liquid lettuce was grossing me out! Then I tackled another easy place – the cutlery drawer. We must fix out toast with the drawer hanging open because I’m certain there were enough crumbs in there to make a batch of crockpot stuffing! I sorted through a pile of coupons (which I never think to take with me when I shop) and only found one from July…2011!

Then I started the lower baking cupboard. Every bagged and boxed item will have to be transferred to a plastic container. I may have to go on a shopping trip. To make a long story short, I now have unlabelled ice-cream and margarine containers filled with flour and oatmeal. I will have to label them soon or I may end up playing the “mystery powder” game the next time I bake. It’s not as much fun as it sounds.

By the time I finished fishing out containers and pouring powders, I was powdered, and so was my floor. I can’t stand crunchy, sticky, slippery floors so I swept it all up. Note to self: wipe the kitchen counters before sweeping the floor. It saves doing the work twice!

Later today, I’m going to have to finish that cupboard, and I’m not looking forward to crawling into that dark cupboard head-first. For one thing, there’s a hole in the corner and we have no idea where it leads. Who knows what evil lurks there? I’m also going to have to drag the vacuum up to clean out the cracks and crevices. Hubby read that bleach doesn’t kill these moths…it just makes them clean. I have to vacuum – the horror!

I suspect that once all this work is done…we will still have moths! It’s forcing me to tackle jobs I’ve procrastinated on for far too long. I may also find some long-lost treasure – I already found the missing chip clip! And while I may not be the “plastic container queen” like a friend of mine, I may be a close runner-up! I just hope there aren’t any spiders…

 

 

 

Closet Psychology: The Early Years

Tags

cleaning, closet psychology, confession, family, fashion, humour, spring cleaning

Before I (start to) tackle my closet, I thought it would be fun to review how my wardrobe developed, before I see what I’m wearing now reveals now about my “inner turmoil”. If you’re just tuning in, on Friday, I talked about “Closet Psychology” – how what you are wearing can “reveal your inner turmoil”!

My “style” as kid was heavily influenced by Little House on the Prairie: old-fashioned dresses with ruffles, ribbons and rosettes. I wore lacy knee socks; I wore shoes with straps. I liked ringlets and curls, so my Mom patiently tied my spastic hair in rags every Saturday night. Anything sparkly, silky and satiny also caught my eye! If it was “prim and proper”, I was there! So what if my 3 best friends up until Grade 6, were boys and we played games like Swamp Monster? I liked climbing trees (yes, in a skirt). Hubby often tells me, “you’re so ‘lady-like'”!

In a small town, choices were limited…so was the budget. There was no demand for brand names or the latest fashions, or if there was, I was oblivious to it! A lot of my clothes were hand-me-downs from a friend a couple of years older than me…some of those items were hand-me-downs to her too. But it didn’t matter.

Then I discovered boys (very early on)…and I “developed” (very early on)…but I was more concerned with hair and make-up! Big Guy was born a few months before my 17th birthday, and after being “fat” (in my mind, and only in my mind) for 9 months, I really wanted something new and pretty. And so it began…shopping!!! My Mom taught me how to be a frugal shopper so I gravitated to the “sale”, “clearance” and “great bargain” signs. I also shopped in a lot of second-hand stores, before places like Value Village became popular. By college, I had a closet full of mismatched items that didn’t really go with anything, and didn’t really express my personality…I should mention I was still channelling Pollyanna!

“You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl”! I moved to the big city and started working in a downtown law office The women at work were sophisticated and elegant, they were all “put together”, not a hair out of place, perfect nails, flawless make-up. I was in a whole new world, one that was very foreign to me. And the prices in the stores were beyond anything I had ever seen. I had never spent more than $20 on a pair of shoes, an expensive blouse was $30…what do you mean that simple shift dress is $300!?!?

Ok, I confess, I have yet to spend more than $100 on a dress, a purse or a pair of frivolous shoes! The “frugal shopper” trend continues to this day, but…I have learned to be more “choosy” in my selections. Just because it’s on sale, doesn’t mean that I must buy it. Just because it has roses and ruffles, and it’s made of chiffon…ok, I confess! I still buy things sometimes just because it’s on sale and I’m sure I can find something to go with it later. But I do it less often! (I think)

These days I wear a lot of t-shirts and jeans…I’m “retired” after all…why do I have to dress up to get groceries or buy stamps? I don’t wear yoga wear or any lycra/stretch knit items so it can’t be all that bad, can it? …what inner turmoil will my closet reveal…? Stay tuned!

Adventures in Spring Cleaning: Day 2 and a 1/2

Tags

adventure, family, home, homemaker, humour, spring cleaning

I’m trying not to heal too quickly from the “Spring Cleaning” Virus, but it’s frustrating when there’s so much to do and so little time!

I had most of Tuesday to devote to Spring Cleaning, and I started by checking the mail. I found a wrapped gift in my mailbox – turns out Big Guy had been in town (didn’t tell me/visit me) but had dropped off my birthday present! It was Guitar Hero III – of course, I had to try it out, right away! Then back to the living room…

It was “tackle the bench” day. It’s not so much Spring Cleaning as de-cluttering (again)! I started by sitting down to read the flyers and the stack of Saturday comics that had accumulated over time. I don’t want to wear myself out now, do I? How I ever missed reading that stack of comics is a mystery. I also cut out the crossword and Sudoku puzzles – I keep them in my car so I have something to do while waiting for an appointment or while Little Guy is in karate lessons. I tackled the bench – it is no longer buried until a pile of clutter, and I took time to sort through all the toys inside. It’s amazing how much time it takes to sort through toys! But I successfully moved things around so my room is no longer dominated by piles of toys. I can even put the unsightly DVDs and brightly coloured game boxes in the drawers in our new TV unit. I feel like I took a giant leap for adult-kind in my own home. If I stand in the middle of the room and face north, it’s a beautiful thing. If I face south, I may begin to weep openly. So much to do…

Wednesday was Morning Break so no time to clean. By the time I got home – after running up and down stairs, and loading/unloading my car, not to mention standing most of the morning in heels, I was spent. I confess I spent the afternoon watching a sappy chick flick and playing Angry Birds! However, the afternoon wasn’t over yet.

Little Guy used to play “grocery store” when he was little. He would unpack the pantry, and sometimes make a selection to take into the next room in his wagon. He unpacked the pantry yesterday afternoon – carefully filling the upside down stool and carrying the items to the other side of the room, where he sorted them by contents (e.g., kidney beans, soup, etc.) He then stacked them in the middle of the room, counting them one at a time. There were 47 items. He then went on, believe it or not, to move them all again, sorting them by containers – there were 9 bottles, 6 boxes, and 32 cans. I wiped down the cupboard, and after tripping a few times while cooking, had him help me put it all back! It wasn’t a task that I had planned to do but since the opportunity presented itself, I took it! Little Guy had fun (even though it’s not my idea of a “good time”)…and he avoided doing homework…for awhile!

Oh, I made bean salad last night so now I only have 29 cans…