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jennsmidlifecrisis

Tag Archives: speaking

Secret Fears of a Worship Leader

16 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Foolishness

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

humour, speaking, worship


I recently left the morning worship service during the offering prayer, because I didn’t have the music for the offertory. You should have seen the looks on the A/V crews’ faces! I found the only copy in existence buried in the pastor’s office and made it back just in time…all the while hoofing it in heels! This past Sunday, our rehearsal was rough – our technical crew all showed up late and some of my worship team members were AWOL. It all gives new meaning to the expression “Grace Under Pressure”, and it’s certainly not the first time things have gone askew.

In a recent Facebook Post in a group for Worship Leaders, someone posed this question:

“What is your greatest, consistent (often irrational) fear when it comes to leading worship?”

Here are some of the predictable and unpredictable responses, not all born from irrational fear but from frightening realities:

  • forgetting to set alarm clock at home
  • no water – mouth so dry
  • needing to pee in the middle of a set
  • yawning, hiccuping or belching into the mic
  • forgetting the lyrics/words on screen not matching what you’re singing
  • chipping or breaking a tooth on the mic
  • tripping over the stairs, the stand or each other
  •  putting the guitar capo in the wrong spot
  • getting so “into” worship results in a head butt to mic
  • voice cracks/squeaks at the worst possible time
  • meshing words together to create new ones (e.g., sin+shame=shilame, father+king=fahking)
  • leading with eyes closed, arms raised…and fly down
  • choking on own spit
  • missing page 2 of music
  • team member goes “rogue” in the middle of a song, and the other team members get that look of horror and confusion on their faces, and the congregation picks up on it
  • breaking a G string
  • messy sneeze all over mic
  • getting the giggles when pastor is praying
  • backing away from mic to let congregation sing only to be met with silence
  • stuck in repetitive loop or worse, develops verbal diarrhea while praying
  • starting a song in the wrong key from everyone else
  • sneaking a sip of water and missing mouth – kersplash!
  • dropping guitar and ripping pants while picking it up
  • toilet paper stuck on shoe
  • falling off the platform
  • becoming tongue-tied, or worse, babbling incoherently with no end in sight
  • fainting
  • technical failure
  • throwing one page too many on the floor
  • dropping a cuss word
  • singing off-key
  • stockings fall down
  • losing guitar pick
  • accidentally bump mic stand and it bounces back and hits you again 3 stooges style
  • stuck in a pre-service poop

One of my own personal fears happened two years ago, when a team member started the intro to a song…but not the right song. He ignored the lyrics on the screen in front of him, and the loud whispering of the pastor in the front seat, in front of him (as well as assorted hissing from the congregation). He finally stopped and apologized, saying he had the wrong song open on his stand. He then proceeded to start playing again…the same wrong song. Thanks to a quick thinking A/V crew, another pastor, and the other members of our team, we went with it. During the offertory, I took off like a shot to the back to tell the crew we would be doing the original song at the beginning of the next set. Yes, in heels! A few people chuckled when I announced the original song, and we went on from there. That team member had no clue what had happened until the end of the service. And now…every time we play together…I panic a little!

Ernest Hemingway wrote “Courage is grace under pressure”. It takes grace to round up a group of volunteers and stand together as a team, in front of people who are often all too happy to point out mistakes. Not always graciously I might add. It takes dedication to practice, to roll out of bed early to set up, and to stay late to clean up. It takes sensitivity to choose songs that will flow together musically and in their message. And it takes courage to face the fear and insecurity of speaking/singing in public, and yes, to laugh at the mistakesbtoo. Worship leaders do it, week after week, not because we’re gluttons for punishment or because we’re awesome. We love the Lord and He has asked us to share our gifts this way. God said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9 NIV).

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I Don’t Want to Be a Cliché

05 Monday May 2014

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Faith

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

faith, music, speaking


I got the call on Thursday. My heart sank to my toes; my brain spun out of control. Panic set in.

I shouldn’t have been surprised. I knew there was a possibility that our speaker for the ladies’ ministry on Wednesday wouldn’t be able to speak and I would be filling in for her. Over the last 5 weeks, I read the book. I prayed. I perused a few chapters looking for inspiration…more than once. I had a loose mental “plan” and I was good with that…And then I did what I seem to excel at these days – I procrastinated a little too long.

I’ve spoken at Morning Break a dozen times (this will be lucky #13). I volunteered the first time (and I have no idea what I was thinking because speaking in public is only slightly less terrifying than being trapped in an elevator!) Every time, I wrestle with the material, with what to say, with what to wear (particularly the time I dressed in a superhero costume…) And every time, I receive positive feedback.

About a year ago, I took some time to try to figure out what I feared…I discovered it had less to do with how I looked or what I said, and more to do with how I am living…

I Don’t Want to Be a Cliché
1) Am I standing up or standing out too far?
Should I get a Jesus fish for my car?
Is my posture of prayer on my face and my knees
Or do I say “look at me” like a Pharisee?
I don’t want to be a cliché.

2) When I speak of You, Jesus,
Is it genuine or forced?
Have I ever really been running Your course?
Am I living Your Word every day,
Or is it just a big book that I carry on Sunday?
I don’t want to be a cliché.

Chorus: I don’t want to be a cliché.
I don’t want to stand in the way.
I want to share Your salvation and grace.
I want to see You face to face.
I don’t want to be a cliché.

3) Do I speak “Christianese” like the back of my hand?
When push comes to shove, for You will I stand?
Is my reflection of Jesus somehow twisted or marred?
Will “me” interfere and the way be barred?
I don’t want to be a cliché.

4) Do I worry too much about my humility?
I know I worry about my ability?
I want more of You showing and less of me.
It would seem they aren’t the only ones who need to be free.
I don’t want to be a cliché.

Chorus: I don’t want to be a cliché.
I don’t want to stand in the way.
I want to share Your salvation and grace.
I want to see You face to face.
I don’t want to be a cliché.

Let me truly serve You alone
Until You call me home
Take all of “me” away
And let Your presence remain.

Morning Break

28 Wednesday Mar 2012

Posted by jennsmidlifecrisis in Faith

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Tags

Bible, faith, speaking, stamping, teacher


Morning Break registration is today, and since you’ll probably hear about it from time to time, I should explain what it’s all about! It’s a women’s outreach ministry at our church. Ladies from all ages and stages, backgrounds, nationalities, and religions join us for an 8 week session, 2 sessions per year. They register for one class for the 8 Wednesday mornings. Class options include painting, stained glass, knitting, stamping/card making, and scrapbooking. We even had a car mechanics class one year and it was very popular! Half-way through each morning, we gather together for a coffee break and a devotional speaker. In the past we’ve looked at Bad Girls of the Bible, Overcoming the Giants in our Lives and so much more. This year we’re looking at Psalm 23. Our theme is “Don’t Be Sheepish”.

I’ve been teaching stamping/card-making now for 5 years. I was so nervous at my first class that I thought I was going to throw up. After a few sessions, I volunteered to speak during the coffee time. I normally describe myself as a painfully shy wall-flower, but for some reason I entered my grade school’s Public Speaking Contest every year from Grade 3 to Grade 8. Standing up in front of the whole school and competing against kids who were grades ahead of me, seemed exhilarating. Then I hit high school and I have been deadly afraid ever since!! So why I volunteered in the first place is a bit of a mystery. But I have come to enjoy the exercise of research and writing (kind of like now with researching and writing this blog). I joke that I’m still deadly afraid, but I’ve learned to overcome a lot of my fears…or I’ve just gotten better at hiding it, even from myself!

Last Fall, some how, I became the Chair of the committee that oversees Morning Break. It’s been 6 months and I still can’t figure it out how that happened…I’ve never even been on the committee! In addition to those responsibilities, I am the pretty (ha!) “face” at the front who starts off the coffee break time (welcome, prayer requests, announcements and the morning joke). So not only do I have to stand up in front of approximately 60 women twice a year, I now get to do it approximately 18 times a year…not counting the announcement I had to do recently on a Sunday morning. This session I’m also teaching 2 classes…at the same time. This should be interesting!

Looking back, I can see how God has been stretching me, but I still feel extremely inadequate for the task. Someone once said that often the best person for a position of leadership is the one who least wants it. I tried to find who said it, but when I searched for quotes about leadership, I was bombarded with many stunning and incredibly intimidating quotes about leadership, power, victory and success, from Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, General Patton…men who led in great conflicts that changed the course of history! I’m certainly not prepared to fight any great conflicts or change the world. But I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store.

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