So…another year has passed and we are at the beginning of the new. While a part of me embraces the hope that a new year may be filled with adventure, laughter and joy, there is a part of me that is tinged with sadness.
Mom and I went for a walk one mild afternoon this week and I took this picture of bittersweet berries, which are pretty to look at, but poisonous to consume.
Our sweetest songs are those of saddest thought.
― The Complete Poems
As I wrestled with what to write for this post, I found myself becoming more discouraged, poisoned in a way by bittersweet memories, so I set it aside. Late that night, as I was now wrestling to go to sleep, I started thinking back on some of the challenges I have already faced, in light of my current state. And I made a choice.
I don’t know what this new year holds, though it already holds uncertainty in Hubby’s employment. But I do know that I am called to be a woman of hope, and to live in light. To entertain hopelessness instead of faith, especially at the beginning, is an affront to the values I hold dear, and to the One who is calling me. God provided strength and resilience in situations beyond my control, and led me through some pretty dark places. In those places, I had to exercise trust and discipline, to maintain focus on smaller goals a day or a step at a time. Sometimes that goal was just to keep breathing. Therefore, I’m choosing a word for the year: Focus.
I choose not to focus on the losses, except to savour memories.
I choose to focus on the present, looking only to the past to marvel at how much I have grown, and the future as a destination for maturity and adventure.
I choose to face new challenges with laughter and grace (& I will seek forgiveness when I don’t).
I choose to focus on making some changes in order to enrich my relationships and pursue some dreams.
And I choose to let myself dream instead of rationalizing all the reasons why my dreams impossible, and I’d be a fool to even try.
Those bittersweet berries were pretty, but if I looked past them, there was an open field beyond. It’s time to focus on the bigger picture. Welcome 2019!