Too tired to think of a title…

Tags

humour, movies

“I’m too old for this,” I groaned as I pulled on my mittens and stepped out the door. It was 10 o’clock at night. Our street was quiet, except for the gentle pinging of freezing rain on the glassy driveway. “This is crazy!”

I’m pretty sure the last time I fixed my hair, put on make-up, and left the house that late in the evening, I was in Grade 9 heading to an all-night roller skating event. That was a long, long…long time ago…in a town far, far away! And it was a pretty crazy thing then too!

Saturday evening, Big Guy telephoned around 8. I could hear his friends chattering in the background.

BG: “Since you’re the coolest Mom in the world, wanna come see Rogue One with me and my friends?”
Me: “Are you crazy? I’m old! Doesn’t it start at 11 o’clock tonight?”
BG: “You’re not that old. You can do it! Come on!”
Me: (pausing) “You have an extra ticket don’t you. Who bailed on you?”
BG: “…maybe I just want to see Star Wars with my Mom?”

He tried to fake outrage, and it was almost convincing. He did have an extra ticket, and in the end, he twisted my rubber arm. I showered, dressed and primped. I packed a fleecy blanket in my purse, and I headed out into the storm.

I saw Star Wars with Big Guy…and his friends. I’d like to think I’m the “Best Mom in the Galaxy”.

I prayed through the whole movie because as soon as the previews started (late I might add), my digestive system decided to go “rogue”, and I really didn’t want to climb over people and dash from the theatre in the middle of the movie. Prayer works!

We left the theatre just before 2 a.m., each shuffling carefully to our cars. It was easy to find mine because it was the only one in the western lot. The freezing rain had stopped by then. I had left my windshield wipers up but I still had to scrape thick droplets of ice off every window on the car. I’m pretty sure the last time I drove home after 2 a.m. was in my college days when Hubby and I were dating. Ours was a long distance relationship, so when I drove to the big city, I stayed as long as I possibly dared before heading home. I was so thankful that now, “home” is only 15 minutes away!

I have been dragging my ancient rogue rear since. Happy Monday…or what is left of it! I’m going to bed!:-)

The Dark Side

Tags

humour, movies, Star Wars

This morning, the blogsphere will begin to be flooded with posts related to the newest Star Wars movie. Discussions on which movie was the best in the franchise? Original versus the second generation? Discussions on the actors, the costumes, the special effects, the storyline? Little bits have been spilling out since the announcement was made to silence the rumours that a new Star Wars was “in the works”. Facebook teasers have been posting every few weeks. The television is filled with ads. It’s even in places I didn’t expect it…

In the grocery store:

Photo courtesy of Walmart.com

At Home Depot:

Even at a friend’s house:

Guess what was the band’s closing song at the school holiday concert I endured enjoyed this week?

This morning, my co-worker will drag himself to work because he went to the midnight showing of this movie.

And I will laugh at him.

I could have gone with him (although I wouldn’t have been sitting with him). But I chose instead to sleep!

That’s because I’m getting old!

Sure, it would be cool to tell my grandchildren (I’m still hoping…) that I was among the first to see it in a midnight showing. But will they really care…? By then, now that Disney is involved, there may be 14 Star Wars movies and the magic will be gone.

And I will still be old!

So for those of you who want to expound upon every little detail for the next 40 years:

May the Force Be With You!

I’m going to sing the theme song loudly and cheerfully throughout the rest of my day…BECAUSE I GOT A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP!

Happy Weekend!

“ “The Dark Side of the Force is the pathway to many abilities some consider to be… Unnatural.” – Senator Palpatine

 

Capture Your 365 (June 7-14)

Tags

365 Daily Photo Challenge, Capture your 365 project, CY365, DP, DP Challenge, DPchallenge, movies, nature, photography, tea

It’s been kind of an odd week. One day it was sultry and the next it was cold. One day it was raining with blue skies and sunshine, while the next it was raining sideways and the skies were black. On the way home from work one afternoon, I saw police lights in the lane ahead, blocking traffic, so I thought I’d go around the block to avoid them. Instead, my shortcut took me into the middle of a police operation and I was surrounded… And that was just the beginning of my week…But it’s Friday…and I’m glad it’s Friday. And I hope you’re glad it’s Friday too!

Here’s my next installment for the Capture Your 365 Project. The squirrel photo was taken by my Dad (and is used with his permission). Don’t forget to click on a photo to see the gallery and read the quotes! Happy Weekend!

Holding it: “Not much goes on in the mind of a squirrel. Huge portions of what is loosely termed “the squirrel brain” are given over to one thought: food.” – Kate DiCamillo, Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

Picking It Up: “I tell kids to pursue their basketball dreams, but I tell them to not let that be their only dream.” -Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Staycation: “If I’m honest I have to tell you I still read fairy-tales and I like them best of all.” -Audrey Hepburn

Dangerous: “I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone.” – Cyrano de Bergerac

In the Grass: “Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them?” -Rose Kennedy

Get away: “Living is no laughing matter: you must live with great seriousness…” Nazim Hikmet

References:

famous-quotes-and-quotations.com

Brainyquote.com

Goodreads.com

Weekly Writing Challenge: Movie List Lessons

Tags

DP, DP Challenge, DPchallenge, humour, movies, Weekly Writing Challenge

Last summer, I started writing down some “lessons” learned from the movies I was watching…and then, like my houseplants, it was neglected. So instead of “Life Lessons from My Summer Blockbusters” here are “35 Lessons from Some Movies I’ve Watched… in the past year”…

1) There could be a Zombie in your garden shed playing video games (better than the basement) (Shaun of the Dead)

2) The Winchester Pub is not a suitable place to “hole up” until it blows over. (Shaun of the Dead)

3) “I can never get the ant. If I just stop chasing the ant, I could get a million things done” (The aardvark, Pink Panther)

4) There are three options for Long-distance space travellers in hyperspace a) go nuts, b) evolve into cannibals or c) become bait…I’ve already chosen option (a) (Pandorum)

5) I have slept with significantly less than the national average number of guys (What’s Your Number?)

6) I’m too old to babysit. (Adventure in Babysitting)

7) Sometimes there’s more than one “bad guy”. (Halo: Forward Unto Dawn)

8) Trust your heart and learn to fly (Rio)

9) We can spend our whole life imagining another time was the “golden time”, but right now, the present is the “golden time”. (Midnight in Paris)

10) If you’re going to kidnap someone for doing something despicable, make sure you’ve got the right person first. (Suicide Kings)

11) If you reinvented and marketed yourself differently, you might have some amazing opportunities, you could also be missing out on meaningful relationships. (Syrup)

12) There are stories in every city that need to be told. (To Rome With Love)

13) If a plucky mollusk managed to drag his broken shell across the finish line, so can you. “No dream is too big, and no dreamer too small” (Turbo)

14) If the pizza delivery guy shows up with a bomb strapped to his chest (because he was kidnapped and blackmailed into robbing a bank), don’t look for how to disarm the bomb on the internet. Apparently “there’s not a lot of consensus in the bomb disarming community”. (I haven’t looked into this but everything is true on the internet, right?) (30 Minutes or Less)

15) Be thankful you don’t know anything about the personal lives of your kids’ teachers (Bad Teacher)

16) Rumours, even if started with the intention of helping someone else, will grow out of proportion and eventually destroy you. (Easy A)

17) Accept the signs of aging and scars of battle in one another and in ourselves as something to be honoured. (Chronicles of Riddick)

18) Announce your intentions (or your weapons) with flair. (Despicable Me 2)

19) A bad day involves being stalked by a professional killer, kidnapped from a hospital, and driven off a cliff…not things like spilling tea all over my new white sweater. (Hodejegerne /Headhunters)

20) Appearances are deceiving (How Does She Do That?)

21) Costco could contain an alien beacon (The Watch)

22) We all have unique skills and talents that we can share with others (The House Bunny)

23) There’s a “nut job” in every group (be careful…it might be someone you’re dating) (It’s a Disaster)

24) Keep your favourite treats stocked up before the end of the world…Also, Double tap, Cardio, Avoid bathrooms, Check the back seat, Seatbelts, and Enjoy the little things (Zombieland)

25) Give up the guilt and buy a pair of bigger jeans (Eat, Pray, Love)

26) Thanksgiving pizza means no cooking (I can live with that)!! (Free Birds)

27) Bros before Hos (or Jersey Shore boys) (The Three Stooges)

28) Don’t let Hubby tinker in the attic (unless you want a night alone with no kids) (Honey I Shrunk the Kids)

29) No more jelly beans…I know from whence they came (Hop)

30) Hot chicks can sneak onto space ships (Star Trek: Into Darkness)

31) Apparently really mean and ugly chicks can sneak on to space ships too (Aliens)

32) Penguins may be “cute and cuddly” but they are master spies (Penguins of Madagascar)

33) Guitar Hero skills may come in handy in a tight situation (Couples Retreat)

34) Unlikely pairings can lead to lasting friendships (Monsters U)

35) Everything is awesome! (The Lego Movie)

***

To see more Weekly Writing Challenge: List Lessons, click here.

 

Smelly Ad or Smelly Plotline

Tags

humour, movies

If someone came up to you and asked you to sit in a white SUV in the middle of an empty parking lot, and breathe deeply, what would you do?

That’s exactly what happens in a recent commercial for a car air freshener. Two laughing ladies approach a white vehicle in an empty parking lot, while cheerful music bops in the background. As they enter the back seat of the vehicle, the words “Real People, Not Actors” flash across the bottom of the screen. The narrator explains why these “real people” are being recorded sitting in this vehicle – namely to prove that the air freshener covers up the smell of garbage and moulding hockey equipment…I understand the reasoning but I still find this ad disturbing…it reads like the plotline in a bad short story (or the plotline for the next best psychological thriller).

Stay with me –

Naïve, willing participants are duped into believing that they are being filmed for a television commercial. That kind of carrot is like candy for most of the adult population. They have no idea that they could become a) the next victims of a devilishly clever serial killer with a flair for the dramatic; b) the next sets of lungs to go up for sale on the black market; c) the next patients in a secret government cloning program; or, d) the next meal for a intergalactic dystopian society (soylent green any one).

Wouldn’t a “reasonable person” ask a few questions first? Perhaps the conversation could have gone like this:

Q: Where are we going?

A: To an empty shopping mall parking lot at an undisclosed location in Texas.

Q: Why is the parking lot empty?

A: For dramatic effect.

Q: Whose white SUV is this?

A: We can’t release the name of the owner at this time due to a publication ban on his/her trial.

Q: Where would you like me to sit?

A: In the back seat.

Q: Who are these other strangers sitting in the back seat?

A: Just some other random victims participants willing to help with our experiment.

Q: It’s 400 degrees in here – we’re getting dehydrated and slightly delirious from heat exhaustion. Can we at least crack the windows?

A: We’ll be finished soon. Just breathe deeply and tell us what you smell (cue Hannibal Lecter sucking in his breath…)

Q: What am I smelling? Hello? I’m starting to feel a little…

It’s a little disturbing. But not as disturbing as the other “social experiment” commercial: “Sure random person, I will sit blind-folded in a filthy motel room, in a questionable part of town, and breathe deeply…” Oh, wait! I’ve lived that one in Big Guy’s apartment…never mind…

Are the 3 Stooges Funny?

Tags

family, guys, humour, laugh, movies

Hubby recently purchased a Three Stooges DVD so he can introduce Little Guy to them. I understand wanting to share the Classics with your kids. I had looked forward to a day when I could share Rodgers and Hammerstein, and Audrey Hepburn Classics with my daughter…but I didn’t have a daughter, and so the Classics are now the Three Stooges and Abbot & Costello.

I don’t find the Stooges funny. Do you? If you ask Hubby that question, he’ll answer: “soitanly”! So why can’t I see it? I watched a few clips with the guys this weekend, trying to understand appreciate the comedic trio and share this experience with Hubby and Little Guy. While both were laughing, Little Guy was threatening to roll right off the couch. I really tried to understand appreciate the Stooges, but bottom line, Buddy Boy, I didn’t find them funny, humorous, or remotely entertaining…Aside from the fact that they’re always whacking and poking each other, they give me the same feeling as Will Ferrell that somehow they’re just trying too hard to be funny.

Former University of Texas professor, Robert Solomon, argued “not only that the Stooges are funny but that the fact of their funniness constitutes a counterexample to the major philosophical theories of humor”.[1] There are three theories regarding the nature and purpose of humour, but to make a philosophical discussion short, the Stooges don’t fit into any of them. They are a unique bunch of Wise Guys!

So am I jaded? Overly critical? Thinking too hard? Does it matter why they always seem to have glue handy at the most inappropriate times? Probably not. Comedic tastes aside, I’m impressed that what started as a vaudeville act in the early 1920’s continued for close to 50 years. Or the fact that over 30 years since the last film was released, nearly everyone in the world, young and old, have heard of The Three Stooges. The Stooges can be classified as “low comedy”, being known for their gratuitous jokes and extreme slapstick, but this hard-working troupe kept the audiences begging for more. They spoofed nearly every genre of movie – westerns, war movies, horror shows, and soap operas, and appeared in 220 films. Perhaps in the end they achieved what they most desired: to make people laugh. Or some people…

I asked Hubby why he found the Stooges so funny and he told me it was because their humour was simple, and that’s why women don’t get it (is he saying men are simple?). My seven year old loved it…perhaps the Stooges appeal to the little boys trapped inside guys. For now I’ll leave my Knuckleheads to bond and accept that it’s just a “guy thing”! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

[1] http://www.britannica.com/blogs/2012/02/are-the-stooges-funny-a-philosopher-says-soitany/

Short & Sweet…

Tags

family, humour, movies

Little Guy asked me to tell him a fake story at bedtime, but not one that he was in. We had already read a few chapters of Captain Underpants and he was stalling. I was trying not to show how anxious I was to get back downstairs so I could watch the red carpet (and see all the pretty dresses – I’m such a girl!) so this is what I came up with…

Once upon a time, I starred in a big movie and I got to kiss George Clooney. George fell in love with me, and I had to tell him, “I’m sorry, George, but I’m in love with Hubby” and I gave up my life of fame to be a Mom and homemaker. It would have been nice to sleep in a villa in Tuscany, or eat at the top of the Eiffel Tower, and to go to bed with diamonds in my hair, but being your Mom will always be the best.

The End.

A Silly Marital Confession…

Tags

family, friends, humour, laugh, marriage, movies

Little Guy came bounding into my room yesterday morning, dove under the covers and enthusiastically greeted me with “Happy Valentine’s Day” and a wet kiss. While the majority of the world seems to have turned sour on this sweet holiday, our children are still celebrating friendship and love.

Hubby and I celebrated too in our usual low-key way (aka food and a movie). We try to talk about it ahead of time so no one ends up disappointed and circling the drain of “(s)he doesn’t love me”…which never ends well! So I ordered pizza because what doesn’t say “I love you” more than cheese? Hubby brought home some chocolate-covered almonds…and I gave him a DVD of movie that stars his girlfriend and my boyfriend. Now before you jump to conclusions – let me explain…

A few years ago, I read a humorous article about a couple who reconnected by teasing each other about their alleged movie star boyfriends/girlfriends. I shared the article with Hubby and it led to a riotous night of sharing who we found attractive and the reasons “why”. Now we do it too…

Just like Facebook, there are unspoken rules. We respect each other and we respect our relationship. Remarks are to be made in jest, not used as a weapon, and if the remarks are upsetting, we need to stop! We never make negative comparisons (if we make any at all). And I don’t know if Hubby ever secretly fantasizes about any of them, and I don’t want to know. That’s his personal business – I know he loves me!

So because I respect Hubby’s need for privacy, I’m not going to share his list, although I must admit that I approve of most of his choices. If I wasn’t straight, they’d be on my list too! Let me introduce you to the first 5 “boyfriends” that come to mind in the next 5 minutes…in no particular order:

Jason Statham
He may be a bit on the short side (5′ 9¼”) but he makes up for it with his steely gaze and lean body. Plus he can easily defend me if I’m ever attacked by ninjas or drive me home in a hurry if I need to get a bathroom. Some of these things are important to a girl! Think Transporter or the Italian Job…

John Cusack
He may not be an outstanding “action figure” type, but his slightly neurotic, unconventional and often sensitive characters appeal to me. I don’t mind the intellectual verbal diarrhea (or the fact that he’s 6′ 3″). Think Grosse Point Blank, Must Love Dogs or America’s Sweethearts.

Colin Firth
Who doesn’t love a tall (6″ 1½”) man with a British accent who plays traditional, honourable, emotionally-distant characters? Underneath, he’s a sensitive, passionate guy who fumbles trying to declare his feeling, and is strangely charming when he finally “spits it out”. Think Pride & Prejudice, Bridget Jones’ Diary or Love Actually.

Viggo Mortenson
Another brave, strong, and silent type who fights for the “little guys” and isn’t afraid to stand up to evil against all odds, with a sword. That scruffy beard and messy hair are strangely hot! Think Lord of the Rings Trilogy (actually there were a lot of strong, handsome men in those movies…)

Bruce Willis
He’s charming, witty, and doesn’t take crap from anybody. He knows how to use his head for 2 things: to think through sticky situations, and to beat somebody up without causing serious brain damage. When he flashes that impish grin, my heart melts a little. Think Die Hard, Red, or The Whole Nine Yards

That was less than 5 minutes and I didn’t even touch on Sean Connery, Keanu Reeves, Ralph Fiennes, Matt Damon, Matthew McConaughey… I should stop now, I’m embarrassing myself…

So who would be your movie star “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”?

2012: A few of the Highlights

Tags

2012, closet psychology, cooking, faith, Fall, family, fashion, fitness, food, humour, movies, photography

Tomorrow there will be numerous reviews plastered all over on the events of 2012, so I thought I’d review a few of the highlights from my own year (it seemed way more exciting before I started the lists). And since I have a lot of outdoor Winter Wonderland to enjoy…from the comfort of this indoor chair, it should be a short post! 🙂

January
– shopping with girlfriends (the best part being the realization that I have friends) and finding my sassy green boots!
– shopping for inspiration that resulted in making me very hungry
– thinking about shopping for lingerie…(guess I didn’t quite get there).
– entering a “man’s world” and purchasing our first flat-screen TV
– cleaning my kitchen cupboards
– finding my yoga DVD…(at some point I took the plastic off…)
– wrestling with: what a “female” mid-life crisis looks like, whether to dye or not to dye, and heart-breaking news from a friend

February
– my grandparents agreed to move into a retirement residence
– admitting I am a hopeless romantic (stress is on the hopeless part!) and surviving thriving through another Valentine’s Day
– grading myself in a report card
– discovering I do not totally suck at bowling and my back didn’t give out
– going for my annual bra fitting and a mini shopping spree
– sharing my hilarious education in lingerie

March
– making Kung Fu Dumplings and visiting a new cupcake store
– laughing over Grannies Gone Wild (my grandparents were threatening to escape the retirement home when my parents were on vacation)
– suffering through my Worst dye job EVER
– enjoying a warm March Break…which included packing and painting at my grandparents, evening movie marathons, and a walk in the park
– sharing my “story” of Waiting for Little Guy
– Death of a pair of shoes

April
– writing about Losing Hope and learning to commute on the train
– exploring Chocolate Bunny Psychology and confessing to an “affair”
– cooking a perfect steak
– discovering heels and too much sleep are bad for you
– Grandpa’s illness and my birthday

May
– starting my Spring Cleaning
– playing in our first evening worship service
– trying a new restaurant and another enjoying a Girls’ night Out
– baking potato souffle
– Waging War in my garden
– writing my 100th post and exploring Urinal scouts, paying to pee and unisex bathrooms

June
– exploring closet psychology – theory and personal application
– making strawberry caterpillars
– shopping for new running shoes
– celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary

July
– Losing Grandpa
– writing about summer reading and flip flops
– photographing tethered flowers
– making sweet potato coins
– teaching at VBS and exploring at the zoo

August
– attempting to overcome arachnophobia and skip stones
– shopping for a bathing suit (No more Moo Suit) and a mini makeover
– exploring the water park, Elvis festival, and The Creamery
– writing about Dunkin’ Doughnuts (or getting wet as painfully as possible) and evil fun with food

September
– starting school and my New Year’s!
– laughing through more food disasters: rice krispy squares and mushroom stuffed meatloaf
– training for Tough Mudder
– Throwing out my “hooker” boots

October
– leading Morning Break and Holy Estrogen!
– discovering burps & burpees are not the same thing (and I can’t do either one)!
– playing with Fall photography
– explaining why there are no photos of me
– serving with Love, Sweat & Gears
– receiving a Rude Awakening – Big Guy’s car accident
– having fun with movies: Bend & Snap and Time warp

November
– leading my first worship service (heart of worship)
– sharing about my family’s war story (love your enemies)
– receiving my first Reader Appreciation Award
– celebrating Big Guy’s new car and Little Guy’s birthday party
– exploring Teavana and Breastaurants

December
– going gluten-free
– shopping for jeans to fix my booty blues
– writing about nostril nuggets, food crime scene photos, and Mr. Frosty
– receiving the Liebster Award
– celebrating Christmas and a mini vacation (night of wakefulness)

It’s New Year’s Eve Day and it will be as traditional this year as it has been for many years. I’m at my parents with Little Guy, and my Aunt M. will join us for a pizza dinner and a G-rated movie before Little Guy goes to bed. The last couple of years, we’ve done our annual New Year’s Eve photo before he went to bed so he could be in it too. Then the adults play games, or more likely, watch movies (possibly in our pjs) and The Air Farce Special, before watching the ball drop in Times Square. A sip of bubbly, some goodies and bed! Pretty exciting…and in my opinion, perfect!

See you next year!

Let’s Do the Time Warp Again

Tags

humour, movies

When I was a kid, my mother and brother would watch “Monster Movie Matinee” every Saturday afternoon…I was banned from the main floor of the house. I could play in my room or outside because even those jerky black and white movies would be just enough to set off my over active imagination, and I wouldn’t sleep for weeks. I couldn’t even watch Dr. Who without huddling under the covers in the wee hours of morning.

It’s quickly becoming that time of year again, when every movie and TV show focuses on evil deeds and creatures of the night. Even the commercials are hideous. And while I am definitely not a fan of schmaltzy “Hallmark” productions, I’m a not a fan of horror flicks either. But there are a few Halloween-ish shows I will watch, like the classic “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Big Guy and I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show this weekend (it was our Saturday morning “cartoon”). Come to think of it, it was Hubby’s idea, but he only watched the first half before heading out to run some errands…

The Rocky Horror Picture Show was a film adaptation of the British rock musical play, The Rocky Horror Show by Richard O’Brien. It is a parody of B-movies – campy science fiction and horror films of the 40s and 50s. It opened in 1975 to small audiences, but on the midnight following April Fool’s Day 1976, The Rocky Horror Picture Show opened at the Waverly Theater, a leading midnight movie venue in New York. It is the longest-running release in film history.

The term “midnight movies” began in the 1950s, when some television stations aired low-budget genre films with a cynical narrator. Midnight screenings of offbeat or non-mainstream movies in theatres began in the early 1970s, with the intention of building a cult film audience. By the 1980s, the midnight movie phenomenon changed to an interactive campy experience. I have never attended a live theatre experience, but I’ve heard that the audience participates by dancing the Time Warp, and throwing toast (“A toast”), water, rolls of toilet paper (“Great Scott!”), hot dogs, and rice at appropriate points in the movie. Woo hoo!

If you haven’t seen the movie, and you have morals…I’m wouldn’t recommend it. To say it has “shock value” would be an understatement, even with the cheesy special effects, the outlandish costumes, and the ridiculous storyline. Hubby shared this movie with me several years ago and…what can I say? Tim Curry is fabulous, even if he’s wearing heels, pearls, and lingerie for most of the movie. I’m morally corrupt in a few small ways (or is this just one of those skeletons in my closet)…

“It’s just a jump to the left….And then a step to the right…”

References: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show_cult_following
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_movie
http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/h/horrorrocky10629/timewarp341755.html