Dear Quarantine Diary #12

Tags

covid-19 humour, games, humiliation, humour, life, midlife crisis

Dear Diary – I read a great post about the best way to eat a “chocolate  biscuit”. Turns out The Mottled Macaroon and I eat kit-kats the same way. Care to weight in on The Great Chocolate Biscuit Debate?  Anyone want to go buy me chocolate?

Dear Diary – what was I thinking? Maybe it was the foreign sense of freedom, the excitement of Spring, the vastly empty shelves of the grocery store garden centre. But I bought a pepper plant. I brought it home with visions of juicy red bell peppers. Only it’s not a bell pepper plant. So with red, skinny peppers starting to bud,looking suspiciously like a number of hot pepper, I cut one and brought it inside. Hubby washed and sliced, and tasted it. He said it wasn’t hot. So he sliced a piece for me. It tasted like a red pepper…for about 3 seconds, and then it started to burn. I spit it out and grabbed a slice of bread, all the while Hubby apologizing. The piece he ate was an end, no seeds, so it wasn’t spicy. What am I going to do with hot peppers?

Dear Diary – She’s back! I was asked to reprieve my role as Ima and to write the skits for our online VBC. It was no small task! On Friday, Little Guy and I braved the hot sun to film my parts…in a tent. By the time we finished, we were both wet rags. I should have watched the first couple because Little Guy cut off the top of my head. I hope no one minds that it has a “blair witch project” feel to it now!

Dear Diary – Have you ever recorded a show…and when it ends, you keep watching whatever was recorded after it? Even if it’s a crappy show. We did this and I learned about the 1958 movie Macabre. I’ve never seen it. I probably never will. I’m ok with that.  What caught my attention was the marketing ploy they used to gain audiences: A certificate for a $1,000 life insurance policy from Lloyd’s of London in case they died of fright during the film. Of course there was a disclaimer: the policy would not be honoured in cases of suicide or for those with pre-existing conditions. In addition, actors were hired to play nurses in the lobby during the film, and hearses were parked outside. Were the promotions successful? Macabre grossed as much as $5 million. 

Dear Diary – Every day is starting to feel like the Hunger Games. What new disaster will challenge me until nightfall. My “frozen” shoulder just keeps getting worse and the more I stretch it, the more other things hurt too. I refuse to go bra-less or stop shaving, even if it requires crying and yoga! The two aren’t mutually exclusive anyway.

I’m now pretty much reduced to unfashionable shirts that button up the front or are really baggy. Hubby had to help me get my top off yesterday. Normally I would perceive that as a “hey baby” move, but this was desperation. It took 2 attempts and one minor panic attack before we got it. My next plan was to cut it off.

I can’t even put my hair in a pony tail. I was terribly hot Saturday evening and asked Hubby to do it. Obviously, with 2 sons, this was a foreign skill, and without 2 functioning arms, I couldn’t demonstrate. Little Guy, having had long hair himself, was slightly more adept, but didn’t wrap the band that extra time to keep it tight. Still, it served its purpose until the hot flash passed. I now wear 2 braids like a 12 year girl, or 1 katniss braid, like a 12 year old girl in 2012.

I refuse to go down without a fight!

Let the Games begin.

 

10 Life Lessons from Mini Golf

Tags

advice, games, humour, life, random thoughts

This week, Son #2 and I took some time from our busy schedule (mostly video games) to take in a few hours on the course…the mini golf course. In the dark.

Together, we compiled a list of “life lessons” drawn from our experiences, that we would like to share:

1. Collaboration. The expression “two heads are better than one” applies to solving any problem – from a flat tire, a screaming smoke detector, or getting a tiny orange ball in the hole, around rocks and stone salamanders.
2. Perspective. Is the glass half empty or half full? Is it better to skirt the purple rock or risk the narrow channel down the middle? We all look at the world filtered through our own experiences and preferences, and different angles can lead to the same conclusion, or open up new possibilities.
3. Acceptance. There are often more ways than one to approach a problem, and one is not necessarily better than another. It’s important to respect different perspectives. It might just lead to a hole-in-one!
4. Encourage. Celebrate triumphs. Empathize with mistakes.
5. Watch. Listen. Learn. From each other. Watch how others do things. Be willing to take instruction or instruct gently, although, mostly when necessary (and certainly when requested). Learn from your mistakes. They will help you approach the next hole with more patience and grace.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

6. Engage. In Healthy Competition. Healthy competition means pushing yourself and pushing others, to do their best. It does not mean obliterating their soul beside Hole #12, just because they kept bouncing off the concrete wall, and you aced it first try.

7. Control. Don’t let the scorecard dictate your behaviour. You can choose to be a cheerful winner or a gracious loser…or a such a grouchy loser that no one will want to play with you again. Ever. Not because you’re that good…but because you’re that bad!

8. Stay. On the course. When you whack the ball so hard you end up “under water” or you get “lost in the dark”, the game drags on. You won’t achieve your goals. You might even trip and get hurt on the way back. Or run over that little kid with the green glowing arm bracelet and the loud voice. (which did not happen, by the way – it’s an analogy).

9. Relax. There will always be someone who is bigger, brighter or better at scoring under par. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have something to contribute. It doesn’t mean that you suck. It just means it’s someone else’s turn to shine. Let them

10. Laugh and Play. Life is hard. No one can deny it. Whether you are facing a monstrous whale of a problem, or just a glow-in-the-dark one, remember to take time to laugh and play, and enjoy the journey. Every obstacle shapes who you will become, and how you will impact others. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with others. Be silly.

If you keep playing the game, you will eventually reach Hole #18. Make sure you reach it with your dignity intact, your friendship strengthened, and your smile spreading from ear to ear.

Then, go out for ice cream.

I Quit!

Tags

#atozchallenge, humour, life

Quit!

It’s not really a word in my vocabulary. Stubborn, obstinate, driven, perfectionistic…these words are part of the very fabric of my being. I would die fighting. Quit? No way!

I imagine there are permanent dents in the boards in the far corner of my hometown arena. If there aren’t, there should be. I must have fallen hundreds of times (on my knees, on my butt, on my face) and slid into the boards with a resounding thud, especially when I was learning to do a double-flip. I worked on it for months, on and off the ice. I think I landed on my feet only once. But I didn’t quit.

http://www.math-problem-solving.com

Math was not my subject but I diligently practiced – from roman numerals and fractions, to parabolas and quadratic equations – all through school. I always got As. I didn’t quit.

When I was a single parent and Big Guy was in the hospital for surgery (twice), I lived and studied in the in the hospital, leaving only to go to classes and write my college exams. (Thankfully my parents and grandparents filled in when I had to be away from the hospital). I did what I had to do…and I didn’t quit!

When my body failed me after Little Guy was born and I despaired that I would ever shower without tears, I didn’t quit! When I trained for Mud Hero, fully expecting to die in the woods on race day, I didn’t quit!

When life pushes me I push harder; What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. – Skillet, Not Gonna Die

But this week I made a decision in an ongoing situation. I quit! It may be for a short time. It may be forever.

I’m giving up something I’m passionate about, something that stretches me, something that I feel I was made to do. It hurts.

My decision isn’t a knee-jerk reaction. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I’ve taken time to pray, and to listen. And all I keep hearing is “He leads me beside still waters”.(PS. 23:)  I’m not sure I know what still waters sound like anymore. It’s been awhile since I’ve been still. There are always deadlines, always preparations for the “next thing”, always voices clamoring for my attention. Sometimes the ones in my own head are the loudest of all. Everything rushes by so quickly and I’m really wondering what important moments and important people are drowned out by the roar. I’m ready to be still, to watch, to listen. I’m hoping I rediscover Someone who captured my heart a long time ago.

But in this situation, for today, maybe for a number of days, I quit!

 

Thanks, E.S.

Tags

humour, life

I had forgotten about the “plan” that Little Guy & I agreed upon only a few short weeks ago.

We had entered the 4th Annual Contest of Whatever over at Evil Squirrel’s Nest, and while our entry did not win first place, we did the random draw by Mitzi, the unicorn. Which meant we were eligible to choose an item from Evil Squirrel’s CafePress shop!

After a great deal of browsing and negotiation, we chose an official ES colour-changing mug. We made a deal that it would live in the kitchen windowsill, to be used whenever one of us had a really bad day!

Thanks, ES! We love it!

This is pretty much how I look every morning! Happy Wednesday!

10 Minute Monday: Let’s Talk

Tags

10 minutes mondays, children, family, life, parenting

It was my Mom who pointed out the irony last week, during an emergency mid-week telephone conference Wednesday afternoon. In Monday’s post, I made a comparison – life with kids is like riding a roller coaster. I was pretty excited about it…until Tuesday afternoon when the seat dropped out from beneath me and everything sped out of control. When I crawled into bed that night, still physically and mentally shaken,  I knew an onslaught of nightmarish what-ifs waited for me. A week later, I’m still fighting to hold them at bay.

I can’t say a lot – part of my way of staying sane. But I can say this – if you’re a parent, talk to your kids. Even if you already have. Even if they appear to have it all together. Even if they roll their eyes at you. Again.

I know we want to protect our children from bad things and bad people. But we also have to prepare them, because bad things happen on the walk to school. Bad people lurk in your neighbourhood. Decisions have to be made when there isn’t time to think through the options or the consequences. If we lived in an ideal world, we could let them be carefree kids longer, but we don’t live in an ideal world.

January, it seems, has been a series of roller coaster rides with Little Guy, and with each ride, has come a series of conversations.

We’ve talked about depression and suicide – how to support your friends and how to advocate on their behalf. Someone I told this to commented that “he’s only in Grade 6”. When I was in Grade 6, I noticed a girl by herself at recess. I sensed I should talk to her, but I was shy. I did it anyway and she became my best friend. Two years later, she told me how she had planned to kill herself that week.  Every detail was in place. So yeah…he’s in Grade 6, but we started this conversation years ago. We’ve also talked how to ask for help should he ever feel overwhelmed or hopeless.

We’ve talked about peer pressure – how to recognize it and how to handle it. It may be skipping class now, but one day it will be sex, drugs and things that could rock his world. And not in a good way!

We’ve talked about secrets – what’s ok and what’s not ok. We’ve talked about what to do and who to talk to if someone is hurting him, or someone he loves. We’ve talked about bullies and strangers, and people who aren’t strangers but may be acting strange.

We’ve talked about how hard it can be to become an “adult”. We faced some of the same challenges and we didn’t always have great success.  As parents, as people, we’re far from perfect and we freely admit it. But we’ve have a little experience under our rapidly expanding belts!

“Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street,
and then getting hit by an airplane.” – Anonymous

Most importantly, we talked about how much we love him. We let him know that he is never truly alone. We may not always approve of his choices, but we will always affirm him. And I think of all the conversations we’ve had, this one is the one that will keep him safe.

Photo courtesy of http://www.daveswordsofwisdom.com

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This has been a “10 Minute Monday” post (where I write about whatever I want for a minimum 10 minutes, no editing – mayhem, memories, maudlin mumblings, or  “mwa ha ha” moments.

Isn’t it Beautiful…what blogging is teaching me.

Tags

blogs, Daily Prompt, finding my voice, life, writing lessons

This is my 1,001st post. I was notified on Friday after I posted, and had I realized, I would have planned something special…maybe. 😉

One Thousand and one.

That’s a lot of words and a lot of photos. A lot of research, and editing, late nights and struggles to string sentences together so that the words were more than just…words. I wanted words that painted pictures and shared stories. I struggled most with sharing my heart. These posts (and the stack of unfinished thoughts) represent more than the Opera of the Everday. They represent a journey.

I started this blog on an whim, an uncharacteristic move for an introverted, insecure, perfectionistic individual. It all happened so fast, from conception to writing my first word. My heart was pounding and I could hardly contain my excitement. I was ready for adventure. My goals were simple:  1) to try new things; and, 2) to laugh more. I’ve done both. Who knew I could run in a Mud Hero race, and live to laugh about it later?

But sometimes I struggled.

Society expects us to have goals and to pour ourselves into making them happen. We have work goals, and personal life goals. We even set goals for the lives of those over whom we hold a sphere of influence. We beat ourselves up when we fail to meet our goals. We wonder if we have any value if we fail to even make goals in the first place. Sometimes along the way, I got caught up in it here too.

My best-laid plans would sabotage the creative process. Deadlines would crush enthusiasm. Insecurity created fear and doubt. Self-worth would get tangled up in the small number of “likes” and the lack of comments. People came…and people went. I wondered if I be better off if I just let it go. If I disappeared, would anybody really notice?

There were days when I didn’t feel like laughing. Days when I wasn’t brave enough to try something new. Days when I felt too vulnerable or broken, or just too small to share what I was really thinking or feeling.

Which was a shame.

Isn’t that part of what makes us human? Isn’t that what we need, what we crave for in our connections with others? The freedom to be who we are – broken people struggling to make plans, and share our stories, and find joy. To let down our guard and remove the mask. To crush the facade we live behind and just…be.

So I pondered and meditated, and struggled some more to compile my short list of just what this journey is (slowly) teaching me.

• Be kind to yourself. Set realistic expectations.
• We all fail. It’s ok.
• Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be broken or imperfect.
• Do what you feel called to do.  Especially if it makes you happy.
• Everyone is a critic. Listen to the ones you know you can trust!
• Take one day at a time. Rest when necessary.
• Laugh in the midst of the “Opera of the Everyday”.
• Share your story.
• Embrace your littleness.
• Write.

“Isn’t it beautiful the way we fall apart
It’s magical and tragic all the ways we break our hearts
So unpredictable, we’re comfortably miserable
We think we’re invincible, completely unbreakable
And maybe we are
Isn’t it beautiful the way we fall apart.”
– We As Human, We Fall Apart

***

Thank you to those who have let me share time with you.  Thank you to those who have taken time to share back.

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Today’s Daily Post theme was “tiny”. To see other “tiny” posts, click here.

Daisies

Tags

faith, flowers, garden, life, photography

You have to decide if you’re going to wilt like a daisy or if you’re just going to go forward and live the life that you’ve been granted. –Kevin Costner

Wednesday

Tags

adventure, driving, humour, life, music

A great song came on the radio in my car, just before I pulled in the driveway last night – “Life is a Highway” by Tom Cochrane. I cranked it – I danced in my seat and sang along at the red light (with Hubby and Little Guy in Hubby’s car beside me, laughing at me). A goofy end to what started as a “laugh or cry” kind of day. Today, I chose to laugh.

Wednesday morning started well…. First, I heard Little Guy growling. Apparently he’s a genius (like his Mom) – he was getting dressed, and got his head stuck in his t-shirt. Seriously. Somehow he got one arm out the neck hole, and tried to pull the sleeve over his head, but only managed to get his head stuck in the shirt so that it went neither up nor down. I rescued him and tried not to let him see me suppressing my amusement. Next, I twisted my ankle running to the car…in flats, not heels. That made running for the door uncomfortable when we were late for school, having been stuck in a snarl in the parking lot. Finally, and worst of all, I accidentally turned the lock the wrong way on my trunk, and I couldn’t get the trunk open. My trunk was full of the materials for my Morning Break classes. I am starting to become claustrophobic so the thought of crawling in the trunk through the back seat made me break out in a sweat. What if I got stuck? What if no one heard me screaming? Fortunately I had a gentleman with one long arm (the other was in a sling) who managed to reach in and pull everything out. By noon, I was exhausted, but the bigger adventure of the day was yet to come!

I picked Little Guy up from school at 3:00 p.m. and headed into the city to pick up Hubby and attend a meeting. While I am very capable of driving in the city, it’s been awhile since I’ve had to drive in rush hour traffic, in the city. I wasn’t way downtown – I don’t drive downtown unless I absolutely have no other option – no buses, no subways, no trains. But I discovered that driving in the city was kind of like riding a bike – once you learn to do it, it will come back to you. One of these days I’ll pass on what you need to know to drive in the city. We were late for the meeting. I stupidly changed into heels, and ended up running in the rain. The meeting was 2 hours long.

Little Guy wanted to drive home in Hubby’s car, which meant he had to listen to Little Guy talk about (or even play) Imaginary Angry Birds. I cranked the radio. I rediscovered the thrill of driving like I’m in a Fast and Furious movie. OK, that’s an exaggeration, but I did enjoy the ride home, flowing in and out of traffic. I was kind of disappointed when I pulled in the driveway. While I didn’t hear the end of that song, I’ll be singing it for days…”Life is a highway, I want to ride it all night long”!

The “Game of Life”

Tags

adventure, games, humour, life, midlife crisis

Have you ever sat back and pondered the incredible genius behind the Milton Bradley “Game of Life”? The whole point is to move from Point A to Point B in a little car, with little peg people, simulating many of the ups and downs of real life. You are required to choose a career (no backpacking in Europe to “find yourself” first), get married (singleness is again not an option), and buy a house (even if you can’t afford it). At the end of the game, you hope you have enough money to win the large white plastic mansion with a big fountain out front, or be removed to the “Old Folks Home” where you will likely the spend your remaining days weaving baskets for the bewildered. Doesn’t part of that smack of reality?

But it can still be fun. When else might you drive around town in a seriously large “hunting orange” car? When else can you instantly change careers with another player…or land on a space that literally says “Start Mid-Life Crisis. Choose Career Now”…OK, I’m going to be a Doctor and skip all the boring years of study and hard labour! If you’re fortunate, you might get paid. It all depends on whether you land on “Pay Day”; otherwise you will be forced to live like the rest of the players, crossing your fingers and hoping for the best! On the plus side, you could have twins, or win money in a talent contest. On the down side, you could have twins, produce a failing rock video or buy an expensive sailboat.

Throughout the game, you can collect LIFE tiles, which are meant to help supplement your retirement income at the end of the game. They are, however, of no use to you, when you break your leg skiing or have to pay taxes. If you can’t pay, you borrow from the bank. If you’re adventurous you can always gamble on the stock market too. But like real life, it is a gamble!

Just imagine…you can be a travel agent, with an annual salary of $25,000. You live in a mobile home. Your family horse wins the Derby and you win a Pulitzer Prize. How often do you read about that in your local newspaper?

The Game of Life was originally created in 1860 by Milton Bradley, but the modern version was originally published 100 years later, in 1960. It is now part of the permanent collection of the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History. Although this game has been modified a few times since the 1960’s to keep it more “contemporary”, it remains a game mostly of chance, and less of skill. Kind of like real life? We do our best to save our money, pay our bills, teach our kids, and have some fun along the way – there are occasional surprises, and sometimes they are good! We know that life doesn’t end with a big plastic mansion, or a smaller retirement home, but it doesn’t stop us from looking to that goal.

Tonight I’m looking forward to playing a game with Little Guy. He played with Hubby last night while I was at band practice (rock, not concert). It’s too complicated for him right now, so we mostly spin, move our cars and read the tiles for a good laugh. But if I do get to choose a career, I’m looking for that Super Star card. It’s the closest I’m likely to get in real life, so I might as well enjoy don my feather boa and Rock On!

Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_of_Life