Dear Quarantine Diary – Week #36

Tags

covid-19 diary, covid-19 humour, dear diary, family, holiday, humour, summer

Dear Diary – I watched Big Guy folding a fitted sheet with horror. I know I taught him how to do it without stretching it across the floor, mainly because I don’t trust what’s on the floor of his apartment. In fact, it’s been less than 12 months since I gave both of my boys a demonstration! When I pointed this out to him, he gave me the lamest excuse: “I’m too short”. I’m way shorter! At only 5′ 1-1/2″ (and the 1/2″ is important), I can still figure out how to make miracles happen!

It’s an appropriate excuse when you’re 12 and your father’s co-worker said you could have ice cream cone if you could reach it (or if you’re caught climbing the bottom shelf at the grocery store because the item you need is at the pinnacle). But folding a sheet?

Can I use this excuse too?

Hubby: Why did the potatoes boil dry?
Me: Because I’m too short.

Hubby: There are enough cracker crumbs on this rug to bread chicken. Someone should vaccuum it.
Me: Not me! I’m too short!

Bed sheets should not be folded on the floor. Ever. But is it the lamest excuse ever, or pure genius? It’s starting to grow on me!

Dear Diary – Walking the last mile to September means thinking ahead to my responsabilities at home. Ugh! I still planned meals and procured produce for Hubby for those weeks I was away this summer. It’s time to boost my self-esteem by fattening him up again. Not really, but we do have to eat, so I made a trip to the local frozen food store. With grocery costs creeping ever higher, any steps to stay in budget are worth it.

While I thought ahead about what to pick up, I didn’t think ahead when I parked at a distance. It meant I had to wrestle my full cart down a steep curb and trail it, wonky wheel wobbling, across the parched parking lot. The lot sloped toward my car, so I needed one hand to hold it while I scrabbled with the other to grab my keys. My keys, however, were firmly lodged between the metal bars. It took two hands, a foot and a lot of straining and straddling to set them free.

With the car door finally open, I had to face the next challenge. The lovely cashier tried to make my job easier, by packing my entire cartload into one box. One large cardboard box that I had slid into the cart at a rakish angle, because it was too large to fit in the cart! Praying I didn’t break the leg that was now a post through the bottom of the cart to keep it from running away, I heaved the box up the side of the cart until it was balanced precariously along the top bars. That’s when I realized I was on the wrong side of the cart to ease the box into the car and the cart was blocking the door from opening. There could only be one winner, so a sexy tango ensued to right the wrongs.

As I was spinning oh SO not elegantly, I noticed a graying biker dude in a big, black pick-up truck enjoying my dilemma. “I hope he’s enjoying the show”, I thought, as I hooked my toe around the cart’s undercarriage and lifted the box.

My load was exactly halfway into the backseat when the wind caught my skirt and tossed it unceremoniosly over my head. If that biker dude was still watching, he got quite the eye-full…of my sad, white granny panties. You know the ones I’m talking about – with the stretched out elastic and the “not so white” hue, and you only keep them because you need something to wear when the laundry pile has grown too large? There was nothing to do but to keep bending forward until I could drop the box and run.

But I couldn’t run. It would be rude to abandon my cart in the middle of the parking lot, even if my face was burning brighter than the sun. So, with what dignity I could muster, I proudly marched my cart with the wonky wheel across that parched parking lot and hauled ‘er up the curb again. I walked back to my car with my head held high, and my hands cupping my buttocks. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!

Dear Diary – September started and it felt like the thermostat was suddenly turned down. On Sunday, it was damp and rainy. It was as if weather could sense our spirits as the end of our week-long family holiday neared. It was such a change in weather that when I got home from church, I changed out of my sundress into a hoodie and leggings. I even asked Mom if I could warm my hands in the soup?

She said “no”.

It had been a great week. We stayed up too late and rolled out late. We enjoyed rousing games in the evening, and quiet conversation over coffee or tea in the mornings. We went swimming a few times, and took time to read quietly in the shade. We treated Mom and Dad to A&W one night for dinner, and made the long drive back to the restaurant when they failed to give us all the food we ordered. And we went on a ghost walk followed by late night fancy doughnuts from Tim’s.

One afternoon Big Guy and Little Guy headed into the backyard for a climbing lesson. I watched from as distance as the youngest, now taller than his older brother, strapped on equipment that looked like it weighed more than he did. I took lots of photos and cheered as he slowly ascended the oak. He didn’t get very far because it’s far more difficult than one can imagine. Not only is it a serious workout, but it requires a lot of coordination and skill. I thoroughly enjoyed watching my guys, 16 years apart, hanging out!

A sibling is part blood, part rival, part coach, and forever friend.

Unknown

Dear Diary – You know you’re getting old when your sons have to help you get undressed. Sort of. I got stuck in my wet t-shirt after I got out of the pool. It had rolled up behind my head, and while I’m regaining the use of my shoulder, the edge of the shirt was just out of reach. Still, it bodes well for the future that they’ll jump to my aid when I need it.

Dear Diary – It was a gift and rare delight that transported me back to childhood. My Mom’s neighbour arrived on our doorstep one morning with potatoes, carrots and watermelon from his garden. The watermelon was not only deliciously sweet, but it had real watermelon seeds! What’s so terrible about watermelon seeds any way? All the watermelons from grocery stores are “seedless”, robbing children of the joy of spitting seeds in the lawn (or at each other). I relished the pleasure of spitting seeds this week, but not at anyone…even though I was sorely tempted. 😉

Dear Diary – Every now and then, Hubby and I will look at houses online in different communities. We currently live hours between our oldest to the west, and our folks to the east, so even if we could move, which way do we go? One evening, Hubby sent a few links to houses in my hometown. On a whim and even though it was getting late, my parents, Little Guy and I piled into the car and drove around town to look at them. Dad drove into neighbourhoods that I used to walk through on my way to school, and the trip turned into a walk down memory lane. We ended it at Dairy Queen before heading home for a card game. Which I lost.

One of the houses was right around the corner from where my grandparents lived. My brother and I would take our little lunches to their house and we’d watch The Flintstones, Rocket Robinhood. or Spiderman. Sometimes Nana made KD or hot dogs. I’m not sure I could live that close to memories. I miss them.

As a teenager, I longed for life outside of my small town, and after very few years in the big city, I desperately wanted to come home again. I know even if I was able to move back, I can never go “home” again. Everything is so very different and so much is still the same.

Chase our dreams but always know the road that will lead you home again.

Tim McGraw

Dear Diary – A dark shadow was on the horizon last night: school starts today. Unless you’re in grade 11 or 12. Then it begins tomorrow!

I”m not ready for this…

Dear Quarantine Diary: Week #35

Tags

covid-19 diary, covid-19 humour, dear diary, family, holiday, humour, summer, vaccination

Dear Diary – This week I’m vacationing at the cottage with the boys. Sort of. Thanks to covid, we haven’t been able to rent “our place” (which we’ve only been to twice. Ever), so we’re hanging at my folks’ and doing all the cottagey things. We stay up to late and sleep late. We snack. We read on the deck and snooze in the shade. We watch M*A*S*H* with dinner and I have a coconut cream pie stashed away for the end of the week. We skipped the annual Risk game and I banned Monopoly so we’d still be speaking at the end of the week, but we’ve still enjoyed several family games of Uno, Carcassone, Play 9, Five Crowns and Ticket to Ride: America and Europe. We also took a stab at the game, Unstable Unicorns. Of course, I had to get Pumpkin Spice because I’m oh so in to pumpkin spice…

We went swimming in the pool and had a massive water fight. Mistakes were made. My life flashed before me when I inhaled half the pool (inhaled, not swallowed) and fought to catch my breath. I spent the remainder of the day hacking up a lung, and half the night too. On the plus side, when we went shopping the next morning, I was still discreetly coughing and everyone gave me a wide berth. It gave me unfettered access to the sales racks! Also something to remember the next time someone invades my personal space.

Nothing says vacation like vaccination! As well as relaxing this week, it’s a good opportunity for Big Guy to tackle some of those jobs that he simply doesn’t have the time or energy to get done.

We started with his car! Papa booked his car for major servicing (yet again) and dropped him off very early Monday morning. Sunday afternoon I evicted more than a laundry basket full of empty coffee cups and fast food packages from front passenger seat and floorwell. I didn’t have the strength to tackle the rest. My deepest sympathy to the mechanics. Sunday night I went to bed with my cell phone so Big Guy could call me if he needed a ride home. Hubby woke me early with a morning message or five. I could hear that someone was up but I assumed it was my Mom. Eventually I gave up and stumbled out of bed. Big Guy was already home and Mom was still in bed, so we made a Tim’s run to surprise her. The traffic was particularly heavy on their country road which could mean only one thing: an accident on the highway.

Oh look….a reminder of home on a normal day!

Having spent countless hours in such a position on a hot day, sometimes with a hangry kid and stinky guine pigs, all these folks had my sympathy too.

My Dad took care of the first item on Big Guy’s To-Do list so I took on the second: booking an appointment for his second covid vaccination. Now that the initial panic had died down, I thought it was be easy. Instead I once again found myself searching for a mystical unicorn on a wonky trail in a dark enchanted forest. I ended up calling 6 apothecaries in town. Some were was waiting on shipments of serum; others never had any. One store had appointments…the day after Big Guy went home. And finally, one had what I sought, but would only schedule appointments once they had enough “customers” to warrant opening the vial. My quest required me to journey farther afield. Again, most places were booking for the following week, but after much wailing and gnashing, and grumbling like an angry troll, I found my unicorn. I can now safely say, my immediate family has all been stabbed…twice. Take that Covid-10!

Big Guy didn’t arrive at my folks without a special gift for his Mom – a garbage bag full of dirty laundry. And not just any laundry: works laundry. Big Guy is a utility arborist who has the misfortune pleasure of working outdoors all year long. Like a postal worker, the weather never stops him from doing his job, no matter how many stars he wishes on! This time of year can be particularly “pleasant” because temperatures have sailed into the 40s (celsius) with high humidity following. Pile on hard hats, work boots, long-sleeved shirts and heavy kevlar-lined chainsaw pants and you’ll find a recipe for mephitic sweat that will make you go blind. Imagine all that tightly packed and sealed in a black garbage. In a hot car. For a day.

I should have known better. Afterall, the bag was still quite warm when he dropped it at my feet, by the washer. The brightly coloured orange and yellow work shirts contrasted with the noxious stench. The toxic, malodorous cloud swirled around my feet in an ominous mustard pool for only an instant before it began to assault my senses. Even Little Guy, who has virtually no sense of smell or taste on an ordinary day, could taste it and I yelled at him to flee, lest the poisonous vapour melt his fair skin from his frame.

This….this is love. This is the sacrifice that Moms make for their children. Even their adult children. I washed those polluted tunics, the crumpled undies, the stiffened socks. I bore the burden for his bedsheets and bathtowels. I rid the world of this ethereal evil and when he returns home next week, his co-workers will call me their champion. For a week or two.

Then it’s his turn to purge the evil.

Speaking of evil, we went on a ghost walk in the city. As the sun disappeared on the horizon, we were regaled with spooky ghost stories and interesting historical anecdotes about the city. We wandered down darkened streets past quaint limestone cottages and a few grand houses. I enjoyed the architecture and peeking in people’s windows more than the stories.

Afterward, we picked up some fancy doughnuts at Tim Horton’s. I imagine the calorie count on those doughnuts was the most frightening of all…next to the bathroom scales.

I slept with a night light.

If you really want to be afraid, weigh yourselves again in grams…

Jason Love

Dear Quarantine Diary #39

Tags

Christmas, covid-19 diary, covid-19 humour, dear diary, holiday, hope, humour

Dear Diary – As if the world isn’t messy enough, now we could be at risk from rogue, mutant spiders from outer space. NASA just commenced Operation Dragonfly, taking 2 spiders to space to see how they react to zero gravity conditions. Things became messy, figuratively and literally, when the “back up spider” escaped into the sealed chamber. Let that really sink in…

http://www.giphy.com

Apparently, this is not the first time arachnids have travelled in space. Frankly, it all just sounds like the makings of a horror story, and with days to go before we start 2021, it just gives me the hee-bee jeebies! Anyone else?

Dear Diary – On Christmas Eve Day, I set out to bake a lemon blueberry cake with a lemon glaze, a lemon meringue pie, and a pumpin pie. To save myself some grief, I bought the pie shells and a can of pumpkin pie filling. But I had been so efficient (Nana J would be proud), I put away my pie filling, somewhere I would find it. Until I couldn’t.

While Big Guy went searching for my can of pumpkin, in every cupboard and drawer in the kitchen and basement, I started the lemon cake. Did you know that butter explodes in the microwave?

It took Big Guy half an hour to find the pumpkin filling. I read the directions and my heart sank. It needed evaporated milk. I had evaporated milk…which I used to make inedible fudge. Big Guy texted all his friends in the neighbourhood, but none of them had any either.

Pie will be the death of me.

I made a substitution and crossed my fingers. It worked. So did the lemon curd and meringue.

The lemon-blueberry cake was to celebrate Hubby’s birthday that evening. In the spirit of not spreading covid, or any other airborne disease for that matter, we decided to use a sparkler that I had found in the food processor box. (Seems like a reasonable place to store sparklers?)

It seemed like such a clever idea…until the smoke threatened to set off the smoke detector.

Before bed, Little Guy decided to play with the corn pops box. I store cereal in plastic storage containers and for some reason, the corn pops were stuck together in a solid lump inside. Little Guy was shaking the box, upside down (do you see where this is going?) when the flap popped open as the lump broke apart. It was a family game of “pick up the pops”.

Dear Diary – I never thought I hear myself saying these words: “Don’t spit in your brother’s hot chocolate”. My sons are 16 years apart – you’d think they’d know better!

Dear Diary – We only had a couple nights with Big Guy before he headed home, thanks to the provincial lockdown. We watched a lot of great Christmas movies: Die Hard, Mad Max, Lego Movie 2 and Monty Python.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more! Dr. Seuss, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

While it really sucked, to say good-bye to Big Guy so soon, it was better than the alternative: Not having him come at all. When it looked like that was going to be the case, I had a complete breakdown. I’m not proud of it but Mama’s hearts are fragile things. I felt guilty for not being content with the many blessings we have compared to so many in our hurting world. I knew of other Mamas whose hearts were broken too. I had to choose to hold on to what joy there was, rather than lament what was not.

Christmas is as much about lament as joy.  No one could have imagined, as we gathered around the Christmas tree last year, that everything would look so different. I imagined the Israelite nation once felt the same way. That first Christmas, they were still under the thumb of Caesar. They were waiting and longing for Messiah to bring a new way, a greater kingdom, a beautiful hope. Meanwhile, an innkeeper was collecting his fees. Shepherds were watching their sheep in the fields. Magi were studying their books. And everything changed. God visited His creation as a divine and human baby, bringing light, and hope, and joy, to a weary world.

Our Christmas Day came and went. It was different. It was sad in many ways. But in truth, no one or no thing could ever steal the Hope and Joy that Jesus brought that first Christmas. Our celebration was always meant to go beyond gifts and glitter, or even the hugs and harmony in family gathering. It is deeply fixed in our heart and soul, and sustains us all year long. Even as the years pass, and the world changes.

Lord willing, it will be better next year. Even if it is not, don’t let go of Hope. See you next year!

Remember, I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together! Red Green (aka Steve Smith)

What’s In My Cup: Red Dragon Chai

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#whatsinmycup, Christmas, food, holiday, tea, what's in my cup

I think Christmas is a wonderful time to drink tea.
And also after Christmas and before Christmas, and all the other days.

~Unkown

With no travel this Christmas (for the first time in 47 years), I had ample time to sip tea from an assortment of cups and tea pots. Last week, my friend and I each bought a box of Stash tea, and we traded some sachets. Her pick was Holiday Chai. My pick was Red Dragon Chai!

Red Dragon is a red rooibos base and therefore has no caffeine. It also contains cinnamon, ginger root, and clove. I found it a warm, comforting and cozy addition to the holidays. In fact, that’s how I started my Christmas morning. The aroma reminds me of apple cinnamon, and the colour is a rosy hue. The spice was lighter and brighter than Holiday Chai, which tasted strongly of clove. Instead, Red Dragon had a pleasant and balanced blend of spices. In fact, I used the tea bag a second time in a pot of regular black tea, and it added a soothing hint of chai.

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.

Charles Dickens

Happy Monday!

What’s in my Cup: Holiday Tea

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#whatsinmycup, Christmas, holiday, tea, tea addict, whatsinmycup

Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone.

Last week, my friend and I each purchased a box of Stash tea, and then we traded, half and half. It’s a great way to try two new flavours without the expense!

One of those teas was Holiday Chai. It’s is an aromatic blend of assam and darjeeling tea, with cinnamon, all-spice, clove, ginger root, natural gingerbread and run flavours, and nutmeg oil. It’s a spicy chai with a bit of heat. I found the clove was the strongest flavour and tended to overpowered the other spices. The nutmeg oil also leaves a strange film on the surface. It has a warm rosy colour and a strong spice bouquet conducive to dreaming of sugarplums.

It’s lovely with homemade orange-cranberry scones too!

Until one feels the spirit of Christmas, there is no Christmas. All else is outward display–so much tinsel and decorations. For it isn’t the holly, it isn’t the snow. It isn’t the tree not the firelight’s glow. It’s the warmth that comes to the hearts of men when the Christmas spirit returns again.

Author Unknown

Merry Christmas!

Dear Quarantine Diary #28

Tags

covid-19 humour, dear diary, family, holiday, humour, thanksgiving

Dear Diary – This past weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving and I was very blessed to be able to go home to do it. My parents and aunt have been part of my “bubble” since the beginning. In fact, I lived with my folks for most of March, all of April and May, and parts of July and August. The only thing that made me sick, from time to time, was too much Discovery channel. But then my Dad could say the same with so much HGTV bingeing! 🙂 Turkey sales were down across the country because smaller gatherings meant less desire for endless days of turkey. Tonight will be Day 5 for us. Hubby didn’t go with me and I provided him a turkey and all the fixings.

The youth group held its first outdoor meeting Friday night, so we drove down Saturday morning. For once, I was up, dressed and packed, waiting for Big Guy to arrive. He arrived with Tim’s! You know how much I love my Timmies! Can you imagine how I suffered in that 2.5 hour car ride with a hot steeped tea sitting beside me, and I can’t touch it? Torture!

I really needed it after I thought I was being pulled over by the police. I was cruising just under 120 km in the driving lane. Now before you judge me, I was neither the fastest nor the slowest car! When I spotted the police cruiser, I was nearly past him. I quickly hit the brake and time slowed down. I saw the car shift into gear and back tire start to move, just as his cherry lights came on. I panicked, and not wanting him to pull into the side of my car, I signalled and switched lanes to pass him. I could see his lights flashing in my peripheral vision, and then the siren started to wail. I wailed, “is he after me? Does he want me to pull over?”. I saw Big Guy’s head turning to the right as the cruiser flew past me…to pull over the navy minivan that had flown by me seconds earlier. Sweet relief!

Knowing holiday weekends are always a flying trip, I wasn’t planning to bring any craft supplies, but it didn’t work out that way. First, while I still haven’t replaced my broken irons, I did restock my fabric pile. Second, my friend still hasn’t stopped selling my masks. She exhausted my supply nearly a week ago, and by the time I arrived at my folks, I had orders for 22 more. My friend called Saturday afternoon and bumped it to 28! I spent a large part of Saturday and Sunday afternoon cutting out pieces. So did my Mom and my Auntie M. Mom made delicious meals; Auntie M baked a delicious green tomato pie! Family always comes through!

Guess what I’ve been doing this week?

The only distraction Sunday afternoon was listening to Big Guy try to do his grandmother’s yoga video. He only yelled at us once because our tittering in the kitchen was louder than the soft-spoken instructor. He yelled at her once too, something about “that’s already the speed I breathe”. Is it possible to breathe wrong?

When I stopped hearing the groans of a dying wildebeest, I peeked to see if he was still alive. He said the video was boring, but he might shop for another one. He must have been bored stupid, because he was watching Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. As for yoga…

I have a bad feeling about this!

Obi-Wan Kenobe

Happy Thanksgiving!

What’s In My Cup: Nutty & Spice

Tags

#whatsinmycup, Christmas, holiday, tea, what's in my cup

“Nutty” and “Spice” – 2 words that I would use to describe me. You might pick other words and we’re all ok if you keep those to yourself. 🙂

In 2 weeks, I’ll be snuggling in, in my parents’ home…or helping with the last minute preparations that make us all a little nutty. So this morning I’m savouring a warm, cozy cup of Nutty & Spice tea from David’s to help me embrace the holidays…before I embark on another round of errands with the other nuts on the roads and in malls.

This tea is a low-caffeine, oolong tea & fruit/nut blend of roasted almonds, pistachios, walnuts, apples, cranberries, pineapple, and papaya. And for the spices: cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, roasted chicory root, and rose blossom leaves.

Reviews suggested it can be very strong and not to steep it too long or add too much at once. I heeded that advice and I agree. I found the first hot cup was heady and quite pleasant. It wasn’t overly sweet and the roasted nuts and chicory root provided an intoxicating depth of flavour which complimented that traditional spice one would expect in a holiday drink. I got heat without suffering!

The second cup had a much weaker colour, so not being one to waste tea leaves, I popped the infuser in the top of my teapot (with plain black tea waiting to be reheated later in the day).  I was pleasantly surprised with the results as the black tea buoyed up any weakness and I savoured an entire pot of slightly sweet and richly spiced tea.  Mixing black tea with other teas, whether plain or flavoured, can provide you with varied flavour profiles without the expense of buying lots of flavours, so don’t be afraid to experiment.

Life is nutty; anything can happen. – Paul Shaffer

Happy Monday!

What’s In My Cup: Peanut Butter Cup

Tags

#whatsinmycup, beach, chocolate, food, holiday, peanut butter, summer, tea, what's in my cup

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. – James A. Garfield

Peanut butter cup tea is inspired by the sweet, rich (and might I add), deeply satisfying delight. Whether as a sweet after a meal, an afternoon snack, or just because, this tasty tea infusion hits the spot. It is a blend of apple, cocoa bits, almonds, chocolate chips, and safflower.

What? No peanuts? That’s right.

As you can see, the colour is a pale yellow, which surprised me a bit. I was expecting a darker colour. The flavour, however, had the toasted nut flavour I was expecting. I would have liked the chocolate to be more prominent (being a natural choc-o-holic), and like chocolate pb cups from the store, I thought it was missing some salt.

Still, with only 5 calories per cup, it’s a guilt-free treat so I can wear my bikini without anyone calling Greenpeace to roll me back in the water…when it’s warm enough to wear a bikini, that is!

Now, if someone would just make an O Henry tea!

Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. – Henry James

Happy Monday!

Happy Victoria Day

Tags

#whatsinmycup, holiday, tea, what's in my cup

It’s a holiday and Canada thanks Queen Victoria for it. I’ll be back next week to share a cuppa with you, but for now…

Victoria Sponge Cake

Happy Monday!

Traditional Irish Barmbrack

Tags

#whatsinmycup, food, holiday, tea

Since we were celebrating St. Patrick’s Day this weekend, and having Irish roots…and an Irish husband, I thought I should try a new recipe: Traditional Irish Barmbrack.

Elaine Lemm, chef and restauranteur in the U.K., described it as moreish cake, meaning you want more…but I have never desired fruit brick in my life. Ever.  Let alone more fruit brick. Ever.

Barmbrack, sometimes called brack, is a yeasted loaf of bread with currants, raisins and/or candied peel. It originates from the Gaelic bairín breac, meaning speckled loaf.  Traditionally it is eaten on St. Patrick’s Day and Halloween, but may be enjoyed on other occasions, and always served with tea and salted butter. Ireland continues to be the largest tea consumer per capita in the world, and cups of tea punctuate both daily routine and social occasions.

It’s delicious with a cup of tea!

Life is like a cup of tea, it’s all in how you make it – Irish Proverb

Happy Monday!