A Better Friend

Tags

Daily Prompt, friends

Daily Prompts are a program for bloggers to inspire creativity and stretch a writer’s voice in areas where he/she might not travel on their own. Once in awhile, I hope to tackle the challenge!

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The Prompt: Sad but True – Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate — criticism you’ve ever gotten.

Here is my story-

From Jr. Kindergarten way past high school, one of my best friends was another Jennifer. As we got older, we had a typical “on and off” girlfriend relationship. We’d be friends in the morning, mortal enemies by noon, and best friends again by the end of the day. We both excelled at school, almost competing with each other to see who got the highest mark on a test, or who the teacher picked first to answer a question. (On a side note, she’s the reason I hate the name Jennie – we were in the same class in Grade 7 and the teacher got tired of calling on “Jennifer” and we’d ask “which one?” It didn’t help that we usually sat together too! So she devised the plan that she’d be Jennifer and I’d be Jennie. That was fine until I met a Jennie I really didn’t like and it spoiled the name for me forever)!

There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition in a friendship.  But sometimes it wasn’t so healthy… Jennifer sometimes had the gift of “one-upmanship”. That is to say that if I received an award or a compliment, she would have to come back with her own (better?) achievement. For the most part, I just let it go. But this one time in Grade 7, for some reason, I didn’t let it go and I “one-upped” her. Even as I was talking, I knew it was wrong, but the words just kept tumbling out. Jennifer had been taking guitar lessons and she received an award from her teacher the night before. Instead of congratulating my friend and being happy for her, I blurted out some stupid achievement of my own. That’s when she told me I was being a bad friend, that I should have been happy for her instead of thinking of myself – and she was absolutely right! She was excited to share her news with me and instead of being excited too, I robbed her of some of her joy. I had disappointed her. Instead of encouraging her, I discouraged her.  I hadn’t been a very good friend.

Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change wrote: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” I’d like to say I’ve never again been guilty of “one-upping” another person, but I know it’s happened, and I’m not proud of it. Jennifer’s accurate assessment has encouraged me to listen to more than the words – to also listen to the heart behind the words, , and when I reply, I encourage more because I want to be a better friend.

The 2003 Blackout

Tags

2003 blackout, family, friends, humour, memories

10 years ago today, 50 million people were without electricity in the largest blackout in North American history. I was working at my desk on the 35^th floor of downtown office building…

On Thursday, August 14, 2003, just before 4:11 p.m., I was getting ready to leave work. The first train home would leave at 4:30. Since I didn’t work on Fridays, and I had the following week off, I decided to transcribe one more little voicemail before I caught the train…that was a mistake. I waited around the office, like so many others, waiting to see if the hydro would be restored. The air in the building warmed up quickly, the toilets were clogged, and we were all in the dark about what was happening (pun intended). Eventually we received an announcement from the building manager simply stating that we were to exit the building. The lawyers I worked for didn’t bother to see if there were any “damsels in distress” and had already cleared out. So Dar and I, the new girl sitting behind me who was also new to the city, grabbed a bottle of water from the conference room, and made the long trek down 35 flights of stairs.

By the time we reached the bottom of the stiflingly hot and cramped staircase, our legs felt like jell-o (and not the yummy chocolate kind). After a short rest, we walked several city blocks to the main train station. Inside was bedlam. No trains were running, no phones were working, and hundreds of people were stranded. I left Hubby a voicemail message that he wouldn’t get until the next day.

Dar and I headed further south on foot to see if we could catch a bus at the beginning of the route, but the waiting crowds were massive. Every bus that passed was filled to maxi! People were shouting and angry; there was a hint of panic in the air, so we decided to start walking north. “Home” was a 40 minute train ride – we would be walking a long time.

The streetlights were out and the roads and intersections jammed with cars and buses. People crossed the street wherever they wanted, and some Good Samaritans tried to restore some semblance of order by directing traffic. All the stores along the way were closed so we had no hope of food, water, or shelter. I was thankful I wasn’t stuck in a subway train stopped mid-tunnel. Gas stations pumps weren’t working, so white-knuckled drivers were anxious to get home before they ran out of gas.

I lost count of the number of blocks we walked in the hot, humid evening. The temperature was in the upper 20s, and the humidity made it feel more like the mid-30s. I was wearing a sundress and sandals and carried my purse, a sweater, and one bottle of water.

As we neared another busy intersection, it dawned on me that Hubby’s friend, D. lived nearby. We found a phone booth and looked up the address and phone number, but the phones still weren’t working. We headed down a side street and found his building, but the guy at the desk couldn’t tell me his apartment number. He could only look it up on a computer…In a last effort, I tried calling him from a payphone in the lobby. He was home and answered, because D. had plugged in an old rotary phone. Unfortunately, D. lived on the 8^th floor…it was a long climb up those stairs and I was exhausted by the time we reached his apartment. D. didn’t have much food, being accustomed to picking up supper on his way home from work, but we were safely off the street. We sat and chatted as the sun set in the western sky, and I finally got in touch with Hubby to let him know where I was. He wasn’t worried, which seemed strange to me considering I was a small town girl literally wandering the downtown streets as the sun set…But then I wasn’t the only one!

By 8:00 p.m., Dar decided she wanted to see if she could catch a bus home, so we all packed up and headed down 8 flights of stairs and walked back over to the main street. The sidewalks were clogged with people who were stuck downtown, or who were simply trying to escape the heat in their dark apartments. The crowds were still thick around the bus stops, and every bus that passed was jammed. I was too tired to feel hungry or thirsty, and I starting to get woozy and overwhelmed in the crush of people. Cars were stopping near the corners asking if anyone needed a ride to [insert street name or area here], and before I could stop her, Dar. had darted forward and into a stranger’s car. D. wrote down the license plate number and we walked in the dark back to his apartment. I almost grabbed his hand once when a man ducked out from an alley and asked for money. I had left my purse at the apartment so I didn’t have any. I didn’t have any identification either. It was a long, painful climb up those 8 flights of stairs…again…

Meanwhile, Hubby had made it home from work in the car. My mother was visiting and I was to head to her place with her in the morning. Hubby and my Mom enjoyed a “romantic” candlelit BBQ steak dinner for supper, then visited with neighbours before heading to bed early. Hubby was supposed to pick Big Guy up at a friend’s house…Big Guy got to have a sleepover instead!

Back at D’s place, talked in the dark until we got tired. He loaned me a t-shirt and I tried to get some sleep on his pullout couch. The power flipped on long enough to fill the bathtub and flush the toilet. The university building across the road had a generator so light spilled in from its empty classrooms and kept me awake most of the night, as did the voices yelling on the street and the sirens that sang all night. It was a very long, sticky night. I was up and dressed in my rancid clothes before the sun rose. Hubby made the trip downtown early in the morning to get me, even though the power was still out (8 flights down again), and then we picked up Big Guy. I was so happy to get back to my own house and have a shower (minus the shower head because it fell off when I turned the water on…) Of course, that required climbing one flight of stairs and my legs weren’t too happy about that…

I’m very thankful that I didn’t sleep in a stairwell or get trapped in a train. And while it wasn’t a world-changing event that brought on discussions like “where were you when you heard John F. Kennedy had been shot?”, there were quite a few years when we shared our stories of where we were when the lights went off.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/poweroutage/index.html

A Mani/Pedi Adventure

Tags

birthday, friends, humour

Smooth as a babies’ bottom…I’m talking about my feet! This past Saturday, Star Wars day (May the 4th be with you), I lost my pedicure virginity! It was so deliciously good!

It was a birthday present from a special friend – a manicure and pedicure for 3 of us…so instead of scrubbing my toilet, I sat in a plush leather “lazy boy” chair soaking my feet and watching soundless Ukrainian television (no subtitles either). The plush leather chair also had a built-in massager and a remote…I did figure out how to turn it on, but it was pummelling me so badly, my life flashed before my eyes. It was short and really boring… Thankfully someone noticed I was being brutally beaten and turned it off for me!

Every wall was lined with shelves and shelves of nail polish – every colour and every shade imaginable. And I had to choose just one…blue, pink, black, yellow, green…My one friend suggested neon orange or yellow, but orange looks too much like Big Guy’s work shirts, and yellow reminds me of toe nail fungus (or rather how I imagine toenail fungus would appear)…so I went with a daring hot pink instead.

I wore heels all week, something I haven’t done since I “retired” when Little Guy came along, so my feet were sore. I could feel it soaking away in that lovely warm (aqua) blue water. I was such a pedicure virgin (and I’m sure everyone in the room noticed), that the poor girl working on my feet had to patiently tell me what to do and when to do it. My feet were creamed, clipped, exfoliated, shaved, scrubbed, and massaged…and all I had to do was sit still and listen to the Big Band music play. I didn’t even have to put my flip-flops on…she did it for me.

I also suffered through a manicure and I now have lovely hot pink fingernails. I don’t think I’ve painted my nails since Little Guy came along. What was the point?

I would have posted pictures but I’m vain…I think my hands are kind of ugly and I have weird toes. My toes and fingers are long and skinny, and my second toe is slightly longer than my big toe. Some people believe that means I’m slated to be the boss of the family, or I’m descended from royalty. Others say that it denotes Celtic origins or is simply related to genetics…that sounds more like it (although there are days when Hubby probably thinks I’m acting like a princess).

Once I got home again, I decided to be a bit of a princess…I didn’t wash any dishes, cook our supper, or scrub the toilet! I couldn’t risk breaking a nail!

Happy Revenge of the Six Day!

One of My BEST Birthdays Ever

Tags

birthday, boots, family, fashion, food, friends, humour

There were signs…little ones that sometimes made the voice in my head ask “why does he…? Oh, who cares!”

2 weeks ago: Hubby and I joked about the fact that I am suddenly blessed with a number of girlfriends (how did that happen?)…and he asked me who they were. He also asked me where I’d like to eat out for my birthday dinner if we decided to do that.

Last week: Hubby asked me, at the risk of getting himself in trouble, to not make any plans for Sunday afternoon. I knew I’d be out late Saturday night after the evening worship service, so I was okay with a quiet Sunday. I am also learning not to have big expectations, and therefore avoid big disappointments. Big Guy was down as well, and I enjoy spending time with my whole family.

Sunday afternoon: Hubby asked me what I was going to do for supper and he offered to cook since he wouldn’t be home to do it today. He also suggested I fix my hair and make-up before supper, and get dressed up for a picture for my blog. I was excited that he remembered that I had talked about posting a picture of me (face and all) for my birthday!

Around 4:30, I fixed my hair and my make-up, and tried on several outfits (including the sexy red dress my girlfriend bought for me when I missed Girls’ Night Out. I showed it to Hubby and he asked me if I’d wear that out in public…hmm…I’m not going out anywhere, am I?)– while Hubby cooked supper. I heard Hubby chatting with someone on the phone, and I meant to ask who it was…hmm…but I forgot (old age creeping in?). Hubby took some pictures of me by the apple tree, and laughed at me trying to walk in the mud in my high heels. When I came in, and said I was getting changed, he suggested I stay dressed up. Big Guy piped up – “Yeah, Mom. You look pretty”…hmm…maybe Hubby is going to whisk me out for dinner and leave the boys home. I took my boots off before I killed myself, and started taking the clothes off the line. I was just about to come in when Hubby asked me to go to the door for another picture…hmm…too tired to argue – you take the laundry basket then! Feeling a little irritated, I threw on my jacket as someone knocked on the door. It was my friend, B. and Hubby is standing there with a stupid grin on his face recording the conversation at the door. B: “Did you get your picture?” Me: (confused and a little suspicious) Yes. B: “Are you ready to go?” Me: (confused and suspicious) Are we going some where?”

B. drove – but she wouldn’t tell me where…she just laughed! Once we got to the restaurant, she walked right in past the line up of patrons, and started looking in every room…hmm…are there others? Yes – a group of 8 other ladies waiting for us, and a helium balloon signalling to everyone in the restaurant that this was a surprise birthday party! We dined on Chinese (why did I waste time on rice when there was such a huge dessert buffet?) and everyone sang Happy Birthday while I was forced to wear a floral lei and a grass hat (it was fetching). Lucky me – I have the commemorative photo fridge magnet…and it may magically appear on Facebook when I least expect it!

Thank you Hubby and my amazing group of friends (yes I said it – friends), for such an surprising beginning to the BIG 4-0!!

Hubby’s Favourite Picture

My favourite picture

I Missed Girls’ Night Out

Tags

fashion, friends, girls night, humour, shopping

Since I was attending a conference last Saturday, I missed the Girls’ Night Out. Girls’ Night Out consists of shopping at thrift store (dubbed La Village), followed by a decadent dinner. Here are the rules:

1) Everyone gets their own cart. Baskets are too small!
2) Shop in an orderly procession, like a train, starting with the first row of racks. Proceed down one row and back up the next.
3) When shopping, look for items for both yourself, and for the others. Use discretion when inquiring about sizes!
4) While shopping, keep your eyes open for hideous items that would suit the personality of your other shoppers (or are just plain too outrageous to pass by). Slip them into your friends’ carts when they aren’t looking. Intimate apparel, bathing suits and pajamas are off-limits.
5) Clothes first – shoes last.
6) When it’s time to try on clothes (usually because the store will be closing soon), proceed to the dressing room in an orderly, train-like fashion.
7) If in doubt about the fit of an item, ask someone else to check you out.
8) Unless the “hideous” or costume-like outfit chosen for you by one of your friends is not totally inappropriate to be seen outside the dressing room, you must notify your friends that you are coming out, and when they are ready…come out! Alternatively, if the item is appropriate to show your friends, but not the whole store, have them congregate outside the dressing room door and peek in.

I missed out on the hideous outfits, like the brown velvet pantsuit with rust coloured ruffles, and the mini dress that was mistaken for a top. The mini dress was given to a friend who was visiting…on my first trip, someone gave me a black lace, strapless mini dress to show off. Mini dresses are some sort of initiation – now I see how it is… At least I wasn’t asked to model a Ralph Lauren 1980’s patchwork quilt sweater or a red felt shift dress dubbed the “Mrs. Claus”!

I asked the girls to keep their eyes open for a sexy red dress in my size…my reasons are my own! During the church service Sunday morning, one of the gals caught my eye, held up a plastic bag and mouthed “for you”! It’s silky, and short…and pretty much backless…and cost less than $10! More on that…perhaps…another time!

Some Weekend Weirdness

Tags

family, friends, holiday, humour, spider

So it seems the weather, like our ice storm late last week, isn’t the only weirdness going around. We seem to have some individuals in the neighbourhood who are confused about holidays. Saturday night, at approximately 9:30 p.m., Hubby and I were settled at our opposite ends of the couch, watching a movie, when something smashed into our front windows. Hubby grabbed the cord for the blinds, as a car sped away. Our front window had been egged. Isn’t that a prank usually reserved for Halloween? And why was our house the target on the street? We haven’t been the “cranky couple” on the block for a few years, yelling at the troublesome teens (or have we…?) and the drug dealers we (mostly me) used to stare down have moved on as well. So I have that pleasant task to address this week, once I figure out how best to approach it and reach it. This one will require a ladder. But that’s not all – I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. with a jolly fellow bellowing “Merry Christmas”! Need I say more?

Little Guy saw a “giant bug…it must have had 6 or 8 legs” in the basement and he came to me to round up this thing and “squash it”…Has this child not been paying attention? I don’t generally do “bugs” particularly ones with 8 legs! Me – who is the most likely in the house to scream and run, or at least scream and “icky ‘get-it-off-me’ dance”! But, trying to set a good example that there’s nothing to be afraid of while secretly breaking into a cold sweat, I grabbed the fly swat and headed down. I legitimately hunted for said “giant bug” among the boxes and toys littering the floor, but to no avail. Big bug is still down there and I hope it’s not planning to hunt for me now…in the middle of the night!

On the plus side, I got to spend some time with friends (and as pathetic as this sounds, it feels really good to be able to write friends – plural). And these friends (plural) are real human beings who (seem to) enjoy my company, as opposed to my imaginary friends who barely tolerate me most days! I had friends join me for a card workshop Saturday afternoon. We were spontaneously invited to a friend’s home for lunch Sunday afternoon…and then I went for a drive with the (better?) half to look at houses in the area. Her excitement at the prospect that we could be neighbours was humbling. And finally, I got to celebrate birthday with friends (not my birthday) with cake and tea…right before supper. “Life is uncertain; eat dessert first!” Yes, I ruined my appetite (and Little Guy’s too)! It was great. Who says you can’t have oreo chocolate cake for supper? (don’t worry – we did eat a proper meal when we got home….we just had a “backwards meal”).

To nicely top off the weekend, I came home from the birthday party and Hubby had cooked dinner (not a Thanksgiving turkey dinner) and washed all the dishes. What makes this so remarkable is that lately I have been hating the cooking and the washing (more than usual), and I’m certain that having this one night off will really improve my outlook on life. I can remember feeling that way about putting Little Guy to bed when he was younger. It wasn’t that I didn’t love cuddling up to read stories to him, or rocking him in my arms and singing as he drifted off to sleep. It was just that once in awhile, I Needed. A. Break. Last night, I didn’t cook or wash dishes and the week is starting out much better (no early morning phone calls). Too bad the Easter bunny didn’t visit me…I could use more chocolate for my candy cupboard.

Happy New Year!

A Silly Marital Confession…

Tags

family, friends, humour, laugh, marriage, movies

Little Guy came bounding into my room yesterday morning, dove under the covers and enthusiastically greeted me with “Happy Valentine’s Day” and a wet kiss. While the majority of the world seems to have turned sour on this sweet holiday, our children are still celebrating friendship and love.

Hubby and I celebrated too in our usual low-key way (aka food and a movie). We try to talk about it ahead of time so no one ends up disappointed and circling the drain of “(s)he doesn’t love me”…which never ends well! So I ordered pizza because what doesn’t say “I love you” more than cheese? Hubby brought home some chocolate-covered almonds…and I gave him a DVD of movie that stars his girlfriend and my boyfriend. Now before you jump to conclusions – let me explain…

A few years ago, I read a humorous article about a couple who reconnected by teasing each other about their alleged movie star boyfriends/girlfriends. I shared the article with Hubby and it led to a riotous night of sharing who we found attractive and the reasons “why”. Now we do it too…

Just like Facebook, there are unspoken rules. We respect each other and we respect our relationship. Remarks are to be made in jest, not used as a weapon, and if the remarks are upsetting, we need to stop! We never make negative comparisons (if we make any at all). And I don’t know if Hubby ever secretly fantasizes about any of them, and I don’t want to know. That’s his personal business – I know he loves me!

So because I respect Hubby’s need for privacy, I’m not going to share his list, although I must admit that I approve of most of his choices. If I wasn’t straight, they’d be on my list too! Let me introduce you to the first 5 “boyfriends” that come to mind in the next 5 minutes…in no particular order:

Jason Statham
He may be a bit on the short side (5′ 9¼”) but he makes up for it with his steely gaze and lean body. Plus he can easily defend me if I’m ever attacked by ninjas or drive me home in a hurry if I need to get a bathroom. Some of these things are important to a girl! Think Transporter or the Italian Job…

John Cusack
He may not be an outstanding “action figure” type, but his slightly neurotic, unconventional and often sensitive characters appeal to me. I don’t mind the intellectual verbal diarrhea (or the fact that he’s 6′ 3″). Think Grosse Point Blank, Must Love Dogs or America’s Sweethearts.

Colin Firth
Who doesn’t love a tall (6″ 1½”) man with a British accent who plays traditional, honourable, emotionally-distant characters? Underneath, he’s a sensitive, passionate guy who fumbles trying to declare his feeling, and is strangely charming when he finally “spits it out”. Think Pride & Prejudice, Bridget Jones’ Diary or Love Actually.

Viggo Mortenson
Another brave, strong, and silent type who fights for the “little guys” and isn’t afraid to stand up to evil against all odds, with a sword. That scruffy beard and messy hair are strangely hot! Think Lord of the Rings Trilogy (actually there were a lot of strong, handsome men in those movies…)

Bruce Willis
He’s charming, witty, and doesn’t take crap from anybody. He knows how to use his head for 2 things: to think through sticky situations, and to beat somebody up without causing serious brain damage. When he flashes that impish grin, my heart melts a little. Think Die Hard, Red, or The Whole Nine Yards

That was less than 5 minutes and I didn’t even touch on Sean Connery, Keanu Reeves, Ralph Fiennes, Matt Damon, Matthew McConaughey… I should stop now, I’m embarrassing myself…

So who would be your movie star “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”?

My Dear Friend

Tags

cry, friends, holiday, laugh, loss, romantic

I will be wearing black today and I will probably cry at some point…not because I’m cynical…(RANT: ok I am – I just can’t afford to burn any more energy or precious brain cells dwelling on life, love, blah blah blah…think about it – who’s sick idea was it to put a “romantic” holiday in the middle of frigid February…just weeks before the suicide rate starts to climb? And it’s only 52 days after Christmas (which means if you disappointed your partner with your Christmas gift, this is a great way to remind them of that and/or disappoint them again! END RANT)… but because it’s a time honoured tradition.

Valentine’s Day has sucked in the past – disappointments, break-ups, “missing” dates, lonely nights longing for love, harsh words, bitter tears…you get the picture! I’m certainly not alone here. But I have another “good” reason to dislike V-day. I miss my best friend!

My dear friend and I became inseparable friends in Grade 6…we had to band together to survive our 6th grade teacher. She was…something else! We had to band together in high school too – that was…something else! We shared everything (except boyfriends – she was straight but not interested). I could tell her everything and she would be honest without being brutal. She told me things too – like why she wasn’t a virgin, or that just before we became friends, she had planned her suicide, right down to the note and it was only a matter of days. That was in Grade 8. She went with me to buy a pregnancy test in Grade 10. We could tell each other everything…

Even when I went to college and she moved away, and we didn’t speak for months at a time, when we did speak it was if no time had passed. We could pick up right where we left off! I even wrote her fictitious stories of life in our “hick town” and she would teach me about life in the big city (like how to pick a hooker out of a crowd). We just got each other in all our weird and wonderful ways!

My dear friend died in a single car accident on V-Day. Her car slipped on the ice and went over the underpass. Ironically, she was on her way to a bereavement group meeting, having lost her parents 8 months before when their truck collided with not 1, but 2 passenger trains. She had spent the day at her parents’ house with her siblings sorting through stuff. Her brother told me at the funeral that she had talked about me that day, how we had met at a mall at Christmas and I had made her laugh…and how good that had felt! A few weeks later, he passed on some pictures and things she had set aside to take home with her – pictures of us being the goofy girls that we were. We had just turned 23!

I was married 2 months after my dear friend lost her parents, and although I didn’t receive an RSVP from her, I included her in my guest list. The day before, I got a call from my Mom – she was coming! I imagine it was difficult for her to come, but she was best wedding present and I got to tell her so!

My dear friend and I agreed many (many) years ago, that we would “rebel” every Valentine’s Day by wearing black, and with the exception of one year in college when my Mom bribed me with a gorgeous red dress (which was the same year my date cancelled on Valentine’s Day), I have worn black. And without a doubt, if my dear friend was still alive, she would too…and we would laugh…and that would feel so good!

XL Please

Tags

food, friends, humour, tea

Every morning should begin with one of these!(or maybe 2)

An Extra-Large Tim Horton’s Steeped Tea…black! Pure, unadulterated steaming liquid nectar!

I took Little Guy to a Starbuck’s once, and all these stereotypical, young, skinny people glared at me over their fashionable eye glasses and blackberries, as if I’d committed a federal offence. I must have missed the sign that said: No shoes, no shirt, no kids, no service! I was served without a smile – the air palpable with disdain…so we stayed! We sat in the middle of the place and shared our biscotti, Little Guy oblivious to the tension around us. It felt cold and sterile.

Tim Horton’s always seems full of laughter and people greeting each other with hugs…faces lines with age, hands scarred from labour, the mingling of generations. It seems filled with ordinary people who work hard and who read their kids bedtime stories. These are people who savour joy and sorrow…and the bliss of a hot cuppa with friends.

I love Tom Hank’s line in You’ve Got Mail (not that I agree with it entirely lest I create a coffee war!!):

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.

I don’t need a defining sense of self; I know who I am – I’m ordinary!

References: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128853/

My GF/BF/BFF Theory

Tags

friends, humour

I have a theory… We live near a high school and I’ve noticed that you often see groups of two girls and one boy (it was this way when I was in high school too). Let’s call them 1) the Girlfriend (“GF”); 2) the Boyfriend (“BF”); and, 3) the Best Friend (“BFF”).

The BFF is never as pretty as the GF, as slim as the GF, as athletic as the GF, as [insert complimentary description here] as the GF.

The BF is obliged to be nice to the BFF in order to stay in the good graces of the GF. This can cause the BFF to develop a secret crush on the BF. If the GF ever found out about the secret crush, the friendship would be ruined forever (or until the GF breaks up with the BF and finds a new BF).

The friendship is strained between the GF and the BFF if (and it can be a big IF) the BFF gets a Boyfriend, especially if the new Boyfriend is not a friend of the GF or BF. Any set ups by the GF between the BFF and the BF’s Best Friend rarely work out. There’s too much pressure on the relationship because “wouldn’t it be cool if we could double-date?” It also increases the sense of jealousy and competition between the GF and the BFF, especially if the BFF’s boyfriend treats her better than the BF treats the GF.

In the GF’s opinion, it is always better if the BFF stays single. The GF can empathize with the BFF, and even takes steps to help the BFF get her own Boyfriend (but not too hard) because it makes the GF look better to everyone else. Because the BFF is unaware of the GF’s selfishness in wanting the BFF to stay single, the BFF will continue to adore the GF…maybe even idolize her for far too long!

The point of all this: I have deadlines and I’m wasting time…