Quiet, please!

Tags

blogs, humour, women

The comments on my blog are as scarce as the people who eat plain doughnut holes because they like them, not because that’s the only kind left in the box and they’re really hungry. I know there would be more if all 5 my readers knew how to leave comments (love you Mom)!

But occasionally I get comments that are just…”dirty”! Let me state this clearly: If you want to use your body as an amusement park, that’s your prerogative, but leave me out of it! I’m glad you find me attractive, but seriously dude, that’s gross!

I realize we live in a society that is way too preoccupied with sex – getting it, the abundance of it, or the lack of it. If we’re not “doing it” then we are obsessing about “doing it” or obsessing about why we’re not “doing it”. It’s exhausting!

Four years ago, I browsed the Women’s Health section in a major book store chain. I expected to find ridiculousness like “How to Embrace and Bake With Your Inner Child” or “Harnass the Power of Pretend Eating and Drop 4.5 Dress Sizes”.  Instead of books on self-esteem, nutrition, exercise, or surviving menopause, over 75% of the shelf space was filled with books on sexual positions, how to seduce, pleasure or keep a man, and a book with Sex Tips from Porn Stars! When did advice from Porn Stars override the need for quality books that help women struggling with depression, eating disorders or grief?

How could over 75% of the books on Women’s Health have so little to do with women’s health?  Is the market saturated with books of this caliber or is there high market demand? What kind of women are buying these books?

Here’s a crazy idea…

Maybe if we put as much brain power and energy into solving issues like homelessness and poverty, as we do in pursuing “satisfaction”, we could change the world.

Maybe, if we focused on the importance of emotional connection, intelligent conversation, meaningful touch, and mutual respect in a relationship that exceeds the need to jump into bed at every possible opportunity, we could be happier and healthier, and secure with who are.

I do believe something very magical can happen when you read a good book.
– J.K. Rowling

And maybe the Women’s Health section in the book store should be about… oh, I don’t know…Women’s Health!

Happy Weekend!

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Isn’t it Beautiful…what blogging is teaching me.

Tags

blogs, Daily Prompt, finding my voice, life, writing lessons

This is my 1,001st post. I was notified on Friday after I posted, and had I realized, I would have planned something special…maybe. 😉

One Thousand and one.

That’s a lot of words and a lot of photos. A lot of research, and editing, late nights and struggles to string sentences together so that the words were more than just…words. I wanted words that painted pictures and shared stories. I struggled most with sharing my heart. These posts (and the stack of unfinished thoughts) represent more than the Opera of the Everday. They represent a journey.

I started this blog on an whim, an uncharacteristic move for an introverted, insecure, perfectionistic individual. It all happened so fast, from conception to writing my first word. My heart was pounding and I could hardly contain my excitement. I was ready for adventure. My goals were simple:  1) to try new things; and, 2) to laugh more. I’ve done both. Who knew I could run in a Mud Hero race, and live to laugh about it later?

But sometimes I struggled.

Society expects us to have goals and to pour ourselves into making them happen. We have work goals, and personal life goals. We even set goals for the lives of those over whom we hold a sphere of influence. We beat ourselves up when we fail to meet our goals. We wonder if we have any value if we fail to even make goals in the first place. Sometimes along the way, I got caught up in it here too.

My best-laid plans would sabotage the creative process. Deadlines would crush enthusiasm. Insecurity created fear and doubt. Self-worth would get tangled up in the small number of “likes” and the lack of comments. People came…and people went. I wondered if I be better off if I just let it go. If I disappeared, would anybody really notice?

There were days when I didn’t feel like laughing. Days when I wasn’t brave enough to try something new. Days when I felt too vulnerable or broken, or just too small to share what I was really thinking or feeling.

Which was a shame.

Isn’t that part of what makes us human? Isn’t that what we need, what we crave for in our connections with others? The freedom to be who we are – broken people struggling to make plans, and share our stories, and find joy. To let down our guard and remove the mask. To crush the facade we live behind and just…be.

So I pondered and meditated, and struggled some more to compile my short list of just what this journey is (slowly) teaching me.

• Be kind to yourself. Set realistic expectations.
• We all fail. It’s ok.
• Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be broken or imperfect.
• Do what you feel called to do.  Especially if it makes you happy.
• Everyone is a critic. Listen to the ones you know you can trust!
• Take one day at a time. Rest when necessary.
• Laugh in the midst of the “Opera of the Everyday”.
• Share your story.
• Embrace your littleness.
• Write.

“Isn’t it beautiful the way we fall apart
It’s magical and tragic all the ways we break our hearts
So unpredictable, we’re comfortably miserable
We think we’re invincible, completely unbreakable
And maybe we are
Isn’t it beautiful the way we fall apart.”
– We As Human, We Fall Apart

***

Thank you to those who have let me share time with you.  Thank you to those who have taken time to share back.

***

Today’s Daily Post theme was “tiny”. To see other “tiny” posts, click here.

10 Minute Monday: Rejection

Tags

blogs, family, humour, writing

My mother introduced me as her daughter, and then tacked on “the writer”. I was already anxious about an evening of “niceties” with people whose names I couldn’t recollect (while I stood in heels sucking my gut in). I’m sure the undertaker noticed my plastic grimace and my eyes shifting to bore holes in the back of my mother’s head. My immediate thoughts were:

• I’m not sure “writer” is the word you were looking for
• Why would you tag that on to the introduction – he didn’t ask
• This is really awkward. I feel like she’s trying to set us up…and we’re both married
• I met him at the last 2 funerals we had here, in the last 4 years. Same room, same décor, same awkward grin
• He just said “I’ll have to check it out”…but he never asked where he should go to “check it out”

On Friday I read a post entitled “If you’re a writer without a rejection letter, you’re doing something wrong”. If this hypothesis is true then either (a) I’m not a writer, or (b) I must be doing something wrong. Or (c) both.

I don’t have any rejection letters. But if I’m being honest, it’s probably because I haven’t sent out my writing. I did receive hate mail once from an anonymous stranger who kindly assumed I got knocked up and manipulated Hubby into taking me as his wife. That’s the short version of a very long, neatly-typed letter. I kept it because it was just so bizarre…but that has nothing to do with my writing.

I might have been rejected by my college newspaper. I submitted poetry under a pseudonym, which they incomprehensibly published. Once, they put in a note asking “Amadeus” to “stop by the office some time”. I was really excited…until my Mom piped up that they probably just wanted me to seek professional help. I’m sure she was joking, but it spooked me, and I never stopped by. I’m not even sure I submitted any more poetry. So I could have been rejected.

As far as blogging goes, I receive the rarest smattering of comments. The likes I receive in a day rarely go beyond 4. May I point out that none of those “likes” are my mother. My most popular posts relate to mid-life crisis jokes I pulled off the internet…and toilets. These topics, thankfully, are not related. And my busiest days are my contributions to the weekly photo challenges, with thoughtful quotes…written by real writers. (My first few Mud Hero posts were popular too but mostly because people were looking for my death announcement).

It’s the same story on FaceBook. I’m “friends” on FaceBook with a guy from high school. He just had surgery and wrote something cute about lying on the couch, watching t.v. while his amazing wife took care of him. After I swallowed the bile rising in my throat, I noticed he had 386 likes. I’m happy for him, but I personally don’t know 386 people, even if I were to draw up a list of names of friends, family members, co-workers, team members, and congregation members who know me by more than the title “the girl who sometimes plays the piano”.

What’s my point? I don’t know any more. I just starting typing and this is where we ended up. I’d love to say that the overwhelming evidence (or in this case, the lack of it) was never discouraging. To blow it off with an “I don’t give a crap” attitude. To write an inspiring speech for all the aspiring writers about following your dreams and climbing every mountain.

But that wouldn’t be me.

Am I going to stop writing unless or until someone pats me on the head and tells me I’m a “good” girl? No. Would I reject the odd “pity comment”? No. Do I have rejection letters? No. Can I call myself a writer? My mom has called me a lot of things in the past 40 years, (some of them not fit for publication; most of them spot on!), so if she wants to call me a “writer”, I guess I’d better just suck up the awkward and be thankful! She could call me much worse!

Happy Monday!

***

This has been a “10 Minute Monday” post (where I write about whatever I want for a minimum 10 minutes, no editing – mayhem, memories, maudlin mumblings, or  “mwa ha ha” moments.

Diapers & Driving Lessons

Tags

blogs, family, humour

In my cold-medication-induced stupor, I lost track of the days. I knew it was Wednesday but beyond that, the actual date held no meaning. And then I logged into WordPress this evening to addictively check my stats see if any of my favourite bloggers had posted something new – and there was my name with the words “Guest Blogger” in front of it. That jolt was better than a caffeine shot!

I am over the top humbled and excited all at the same time, not only to be asked to be a guest blogger on one of my favourite sites, but to actually be posted there. CoachDaddy is a wonderful writer, father, husband and all-round nice guy (the kind you wanted to take home to your mother). His voice makes us laugh and wonder, sometimes out loud at the same time, while at other times he touches our vulnerable spots with tenderness and understanding. He’s also a wonderful encourager, and delights in sharing his limelight with other aspiring bloggers.

I feel like I’ve made it to the Big Leagues (and I don’t even play any sports). Thank you, CoachDaddy, for trusting me in your world today (and for saying all those nice things about me – I needed the ego boost)! I’m just going to stare at your page for awhile…

So please head over to read about my experience with Diapers & Driving lessons, and hang out there for awhile. Trust me – you won’t be disappointed!

Friday Whine and Holidays

Tags

6 words, blogs, humour, in 6 words

I may have to stop at the grocery store on my way home from work…to pick up some cheese to go with my whine…I can’t go into details, but in a nutshell…

a)            Last night, it snowed…again…

b             Someone kind of hurt my feelings…

c)            And I’m a little bummed…

 

Maybe I need to plan a holiday…so I’m going to head over to my friend, coachdaddy, to check out my options…Earlier this week, Coachdaddy posted a collection of holiday ideas from fellow bloggers to “Make Your Own Holiday in 6 Words”. Check out the 40+ options (including mine, which Little Guy and I already tested first – you’re welcome) and add your own!! While there are fewer girly hormones over there…there might be cheese…

Happy Weekend!

I got “Verbified”!

Tags

blogs, humour, writing

It has finally happened – that humbling, joy-inducing affirmation that I don’t completely suck at writing another writer (a good writer) likes my scribbling enough to trust me to “write in her space”.  I am a guest blogger. And not just in any space – I’m hanging out today in “Mommyverb’s” space!

I love MommyVerbs! She writes humorous, “action-packed” and thought-provoking posts about turning being 40, and fabulous, family adventures, and life lessons! She strongly believes in intentionally and joyfully “engaging each day…one action word at a time”. She challenges me to reflect and ponder and wonder…Sometimes she has moved me to tears – tears of laughter or tears of sorrow. I’ve even sung Starship with her in the shower…well, figuratively. I appreciate her honesty and introspection on the “mountain-top days” and the “that could have gone better days” because she is committed to figuring it out one day a time! Isn’t that pretty much what we’re all trying to do?

So head over there and hang out (and check me hanging out in her space too)! Happy Wednesday!

Untitled (because my brain is slowly dying…?)

Tags

blogs, humour, school

Welcome to the First Day of Summer. I cannot begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to school ending next week. I feel like a marathon runner who can just start to see the end of the race, and I am limping toward it with as much energy as I can muster. I am planning to run away from home the same day that it ends so I can enjoy some much needed R&R!

But that “party” will have to wait. First I have to host a crafting party… I still have to 1) prepare food, 2) cut my materials, 3) clean my very “lived in” house, and 4) make myself presentable to the world. I think the 4^th one is the hardest! Did I mention it’s tonight?

I read this hilarious blog post from Jen Hatmaker a few weeks ago, “Worst End of the School Year Mom Ever“, so if you’re in need of a good laugh this weekend, check it out! I promise I’ll do better next week…maybe I’ll even feel inspired tomorrow! If not…Happy Weekend!

Me? The Next Best Thing?

Tags

blogs, faith, family, infertility, writing

Modesty: The quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities; the quality of being relatively moderate, limited, or small in amount, rate, or level.

I have always been taught to be modest – in the way I dress, in the way I act, in the way I respond, particularly to compliments. Doesn’t it say in Romans 12:3, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment”?

So imagine my absolute shock and delight (I’ll admit), as well as my fear of being immodest, when I read that Mommyverbs had tagged me (along with more worthy bloggers) as “The Next Best Thing”. That title causes me to ponder – what is the best thing? Am I even better than sliced bread (gluten-free, of course)? Do I get a tiara and a sash? Have I ceased to be modest? Quite likely!

So, what is The Next Big Thing? It involves bloggers who either have a book under their belt, who are in the process of writing one, or who should be writing one. I fall into the last category…sort of…I would like to be a published writer. I have one binder filled with research, a folder somewhere in my closet with poems, short stories, etc. and a few children’s stories illustrated and cirlox-bound by me. These days, my blogging goal has been mostly to encourage people to laugh along with me (or at me – I’m not picky) – we can all relate to stepping in dog poo and getting frustrated with stupid drivers, but who really wants to know why I won’t wear socks the next time I go shopping for jeans? I’m not sure I could translate my craziness into a whole book. It would be fun to be the next Barbara Johnson! But even if it never transpires, I can hold on to this honourable compliment, which feels exceedingly good! So thank you – Mommyverbs – for making my heart sing!

Apparently, the rules are simple: answer a few questions regarding your completed work, work in progress, or best idea – and then tag five other bloggers whom you feel are on the book writing path. With that in mind, it was difficult to choose just one idea…and since I promised only last week to be as open and honest as possible, I am going to take a chance, assume someone is still reading, and share this personal (and quite possibly ridiculous) idea!

What is the title of your book? Not sure – maybe Waiting for [my son’s name]

Where did the idea come from for your book? My own personal journey through infertility, loss, and moving beyond the dream of having more kids.

What genre does your book fall under? Self-help? (I seriously need help so I’m not sure I should be helping others…)

Which actors would you choose to play in your movie rendition? Not really movie material.

What is a one-sentence synopsis of your book? God is Sovereign, and He never gives us a dream that He is not prepared to fill, sometimes in unexpected ways.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency? Well…I have no idea. I would love for it to be represented by an agency, but who knows if I will even get that far…

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? Well…that’s a good question. I have only shared an overview of my story in a few blog posts (like Waiting for Little Guy) as well as once as part of a devotional talk.

What other books would you compare this story to? What if Your Blessings Come Through Raindrops by Laura Story.

Who or what inspired you to write the book?  Infertility (and miscarriage) are  not talked about often (unless you’re a celebrity without a “baby bump”). If you search for “infertility books”, you will find a vast assortment of informational books. Personally, someone who is hurting and feeling alone can absorb only so much sterile information. I wondered if there were others who were as heartbroken as me.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?  Hope. God provides. Maybe not in the way or in the timing that we expect or desire, but He does provide joy and freedom from fear and shame, and He gives us hope for the future.

And now I’m supposed to tag other folks as… “The Next Big Thing!” – which was no easy task so if your name isn’t here – it doesn’t mean that I don’t think you’re awesome or that you have it in you! (in other words…please don’t hate me…I’m hormonal. I might cry…)

http://quickwittier.wordpress.com

http://briannawithanaw.wordpress.com

http://pregoandtheloon.wordpress.com

http://adoptingjames.wordpress.com

http://jumpforjoyphotoproject.wordpress.com

It’s Official

Tags

adventure, blogs, boots, humour, midlife crisis

Well, it’s official. I have been blogging for 1 year. In my first post, Raison D’Etre, I tried to explain (and maybe just plain figure out) what I was going to write about. The impulsive idea (so unlike me), literally, came out of the blue and within hours I was all set up on WordPress, with a blank page staring me in the face. I endeavoured to fill that blank page 5 times a week, and for the most part, I did!

It’s been a year of adventure…maybe not all the adventures I had planned or ones that would have ever considered before. It has been a year of introspection, loss, renewal, and what I most wanted, laughter! I haven’t written about everything…a woman’s heart is full of many secrets, and some of those secrets need to be kept closely guarded (don’t worry – nothing startling like I’m a dude). Nor have I shared every experience and conversation – some relationships need to be respected. Still, I have (and will) endeavour to be as open and honest as possible.

When I started this, I never imagined that I’d have more than 1 follower – my Mom. Every week has been filled with shock and pure delight to see the stats slowly climbing…I am nowhere near triple digits but I am blessed! I’ve even been nominated for a few awards – I do the “potty dance” every time (it’s been over 8 years since I’ve been dancing so the “potty dance” is the only way I know how to “groove”)!!

Thank you to all those bloggers who have passed through…and especially to those who have decided to stay awhile and laugh along with me. It has been exceedingly encouraging and has boosted my confidence to take more chances, to be more trusting, and to “release” those who aren’t willing (or able) to accept me for who I am. God led me to Psalm 40 over a year ago and I love how it ends: “And me? I’m a mess. I’m nothing and have nothing: make something of me” (Ps. 40:17b MSG) There’s still hope!

So here I go again with a new set of blank “pages” before me (but maybe not 5 days a week – we’ll see…)

It’s time to dig out my sassy green boots – an impulsive buy last January. I will go shopping one of these days for new jeans since these ones are now too BIG! My mid-life crisis isn’t over – these boots were made for walking and that’s just what I’ll do…

Monkey Review

Tags

blogs, humour, writing

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 5,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 9 years to get that many views.

Monkeys wrote that!! They write better than me…

Unlike many of you, I am not nursing a hangover this afternoon. Instead I’m enjoying endless pots of tea, finger food, and a really good slouch in front of Pawn Stars and M*A*S*H re-runs! I’ve lost the remote so I’m at the mercy of my Dad…

Like many of you, I received an email from The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys (why monkeys?) with a 2012 annual report for this blog, just days away from my 1 year anniversary! I only have 2 more days to “party” before I head back to the city and “real life”! So feel free to check it out and maybe even comment – make my year!! This is a many splendoured something or other…I’m starting to think and it hurts! Happy New Year!

Click here to see the complete report.