10 Life Lessons from Mini Golf

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advice, games, humour, life, random thoughts

This week, Son #2 and I took some time from our busy schedule (mostly video games) to take in a few hours on the course…the mini golf course. In the dark.

Together, we compiled a list of “life lessons” drawn from our experiences, that we would like to share:

1. Collaboration. The expression “two heads are better than one” applies to solving any problem – from a flat tire, a screaming smoke detector, or getting a tiny orange ball in the hole, around rocks and stone salamanders.
2. Perspective. Is the glass half empty or half full? Is it better to skirt the purple rock or risk the narrow channel down the middle? We all look at the world filtered through our own experiences and preferences, and different angles can lead to the same conclusion, or open up new possibilities.
3. Acceptance. There are often more ways than one to approach a problem, and one is not necessarily better than another. It’s important to respect different perspectives. It might just lead to a hole-in-one!
4. Encourage. Celebrate triumphs. Empathize with mistakes.
5. Watch. Listen. Learn. From each other. Watch how others do things. Be willing to take instruction or instruct gently, although, mostly when necessary (and certainly when requested). Learn from your mistakes. They will help you approach the next hole with more patience and grace.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

6. Engage. In Healthy Competition. Healthy competition means pushing yourself and pushing others, to do their best. It does not mean obliterating their soul beside Hole #12, just because they kept bouncing off the concrete wall, and you aced it first try.

7. Control. Don’t let the scorecard dictate your behaviour. You can choose to be a cheerful winner or a gracious loser…or a such a grouchy loser that no one will want to play with you again. Ever. Not because you’re that good…but because you’re that bad!

8. Stay. On the course. When you whack the ball so hard you end up “under water” or you get “lost in the dark”, the game drags on. You won’t achieve your goals. You might even trip and get hurt on the way back. Or run over that little kid with the green glowing arm bracelet and the loud voice. (which did not happen, by the way – it’s an analogy).

9. Relax. There will always be someone who is bigger, brighter or better at scoring under par. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have something to contribute. It doesn’t mean that you suck. It just means it’s someone else’s turn to shine. Let them

10. Laugh and Play. Life is hard. No one can deny it. Whether you are facing a monstrous whale of a problem, or just a glow-in-the-dark one, remember to take time to laugh and play, and enjoy the journey. Every obstacle shapes who you will become, and how you will impact others. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with others. Be silly.

If you keep playing the game, you will eventually reach Hole #18. Make sure you reach it with your dignity intact, your friendship strengthened, and your smile spreading from ear to ear.

Then, go out for ice cream.

To My Sons

Tags

adventure, advice, blessing, children, family, humour, laugh, parent

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” –Elizabeth Stone

Someday you will understand. Someday, you will, I hope, be a parent too, and you will understand how much your children shape and reshape you. You will experience the pain and the joy that comes from giving your heart away. You will examine your character, your relationships, and your decisions through new eyes. You will see life through the eyes of a child, and your soul will thrill to see beauty and innocence again. It is an indescribable adventure and a lifelong journey. I am privileged to share it with you.

I wanted to be a “good” and “fun” and “perfect” Mom…the kind who baked cookies and milk, who never lost her temper, who always took time to listen. I wanted to roll out of bed in the morning with a song on my lips. I wanted to be the one to wipe away your tears, and chase away your fears. To be your greatest cheerleader. To never miss celebrating a special moment. I wanted to be Mrs. Cleaver…able to gracefully solve any problem in half an hour or less. I wanted to be a “good” and “perfect” Mom…

Instead, you got a real Mom…I baked cookies (that were often burned or funny looking) and bandaged boo-boos. I tried to pay attention and never turn you away, even in the middle of the night. But I know I didn’t always do it gracefully. I didn’t always keep my temper, or put my “listening ears” on. I failed in many ways, and you will too. Humble yourself before your children when you need to – they love you any way. Treat each day as a new beginning.

Sing loudly even when you don’t know the words…make up your own. It doesn’t matter if they’re super silly or they don’t rhyme. Words like “poop” will always get a laugh. Pick dandelions. Blow bubbles. Make faces. Play. (actually that’s good advice even when you don’t have kids…)

I hope that I have given you some happy memories – things like snuggling on the couch, rescuing worms on rainy days, arts & crafts, and bedtime stories. Savour these little moments – you are giving the gift of time. Children never remember the “big” moments, the ones that adults think are important. Plan “big” moments any way!

Pray without ceasing. It is the only way that you will begin to have the strength, patience, and wisdom you will need for each day, from diapers to driving lessons, and everything in between and beyond. It is one of the most important things you can do for them, and for you!

There are many memories that I treasure in my heart. To Big Guy: “I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be”. To Little Guy: “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray…” You guys are the biggest part of my “story” – some day I’ll tell you more.    Love ya’

Mom xoxo