I’ve thought a long time about sharing this song. In fact, it was among the first to come to mind when I first decided to run Friday’s Tunes. But I’ve hesitated. Not because it’s a terrible song. I mean, what it’s about is right in the title: Joy. Something we all need. I hesitated because this song has become intertwined with memories which bring me both joy and sorrow, the loss of my grandmother. I think about her a lot. I know my Mom misses he terribly too, so I worried that sharing this song and the story behind it would hurt her and I wouldn’t be there to try to ease her pain. I never want to hurt her.
But this song just keeps coming back.
I missed Mom’s call the morning my grandmother died. I was in the shower. I’m so thankful God made me notice the flashing light on the answering machine. I called home immediately but she wasn’t there, so I spoke to my Dad and reluctantly went on with the day. I dropped Little Guy at school and headed to work.
Grandma’s death wasn’t unexpected. She had broken her hip 2 weeks before in a fall. Her heart was failing. It was a release for her from a body that betrayed her joyful spirit. I knew she wouldn’t want us to be sad. She was ready, even though we would never be.
I needed to be near God, to climb in His lap and rest, and I knew I could do that through music. Something whispered “this one” as I rifled through the stack of cd cases. I popped it in and joyful music filled the car. It fit.
I couldn’t sing . That doesn’t happen very often, But I listened and phrases caught in my heart and nearly took my breath away:
“we’re choosing celebration”
“we cast aside our shadows, trust you with our sorrows”
“Though I’m broken, I am running into Your arms of love”
And I could see her, my grandmother young and free, dressed in a white summer dress, running with abandon. No longer bound by a broken and frail body, but one that was whole. And to whom was she running? Full-tilt into the arms of Jesus. How could I be sad? She belonged there.
“But I miss her”, I blurted out loud to my empty car.
God spoke over me. Even though I hurt, He was present. He was constant. The song of my heart. My Joy.
Copyright: Rend Collective © 2014 Thankyou Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)