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I’ve decided I like shopping a whole lot more when there isn’t a special occasion coming up. When there’s the pressure of a deadline, suddenly there’s nothing that I like, in my size.

Little Guy was going to graduate from Gr. 8,  and we  both needed something to wear.

When Big Guy graduated many moons ago, the expectations were a shirt, dress pants and a tie. I’m not sure that’s enough any more. I have heard other Moms of recent grads mentioning tux rentals, limo rentals and the need for the right pair of ridiculously expensive shoes. It seems the significance of the milestone is overshadowed by the name brands and photo ops.

Little Guy is a no-fuss kind of guy, which is good because as much as I love him and wish to shower him with good things, I’m not spending my life savings. These clothes will be worn for an hour in a hot banquet hall, followed by dinner (which he’ll probably end up wearing), and a dance, (where the girls dance in a cluster while the guys try hard to ignore them).

Even though I “pre-shopped” to eliminate dragging him from store to store, there was still a great deal of gnashing of teeth on the way to the Mall. Little Guy was super unimpressed that I was cutting into his time to “relax”. Like I had nothing better to do with my time?

We went to the Bay. I don’t like the Bay. The prices are high, the choices are slim, and the racks a mess! The suit jackets and pants were not together, and most didn’t match. The hanger size-tag didn’t match the tag on the item. Our options were Calvin Klein or Ralph Lauren. Gasp.

He snarked. He sighed. He rolled his eyes. He dragged his feet as he trailed me to the change room, with an aura of disgust about him dark enough to blot out the sun. Then he locked himself in the change room, and I sunk into an orange plastic chair that was splattered with something brown and sticky.

Hubby called to see how it was going. I think he sensed the despair even before I said “hello”. He was kind enough to look up some addresses for me for men’s stores, so we bought a white shirt and black pants, and headed out.

So if you should ever doubt
Wonder what love was all about
Just think back and remember dear
Those words whispered in your ear
I said, True love.
– Madonna

The silence in the car was palpable, broken only by a snarled “I just want to go home”. “I know,” I huffed, “and at least you’ve had something to eat”.  Then I took a different track. “I love you and I just want you to feel good. This is an important moment in your life, one you’re going to remember”. Meanwhile I was wondering if all he’d remember was being forced to shop against his will.

Dear Teen – it’s not always fun being your parent either. I secretly roll my eyes behind your back too. Love Mom

I glared at him through the driver car window. No way was I going in this men’s store alone. He shuffled slowly behind me, shoulders hanging low in defeat. Within 5 minutes, he was skipping back to the car with a big, goofy grin. I’m not sure if he was happier that we found a vest or the fact that we were done and heading home!

Last night, we celebrated! And he looked good!

Grad 2

Just in case I don’t make it through this thing they call parenting, can I get my straight jacket in pink?