I look my best when I’m totally free, on holiday, walking on the beach.
– Rosamund Pike
Of course, Rosamund Pike is a blonde, almost 5’9″ actress who could look her best wearing a hazmat suit in the middle of a garbage dump. And sadly, a number of the woman I saw at the beach last week would have looked more attractive in a hazmat suit rather than the skintight shifts and stringy ensembles I saw. Those sparkly and stretchy bikinis would be flattering on Rosamund Pike, but not so much on Roseanne Barr. If I sound judgmental, I probably am, and for good reason. There was a lot of flesh on that beach. Mine included. I had had high hopes for a beach-ready body…in January. But as we all know, the “road to hell is paved with good intentions”. And I didn’t quite make it.
Even Castles made of sand, fall into the sea, eventually. – Jimi Hendrix
We’re not all itty-bitty; some of us are full-figured gals. Some of us have had kids. Some us have had health concerns, and accidents, and struggles with that extra pound, who kept coming back with friends. Some of us were born with confidence, while others of us were born fabulous but took longer to figure it out. We weren’t created equal (only some of us were born the perfect height! Just kidding)! Who’s to say we aren’t all beach babes with perfect beach bodies?
So…last year I decided that if I’m going to wear a bikini, it has to be now. I bought one and I wore it…once. This year, feeling less confident, I braved the humiliation and bought a new suit. And I wore said suit to the beach…twice. I even hinted to Hubby that he should take my picture (digital cameras make it easier to “erase” the record of “horrors”). Based on his reluctance, I’m guessing he thought it was a trap!
But on our last trip to the beach, I started to wonder if I’d regret not wearing it, just once, to the beach. I mean, I wore it in the canoe, covered fully by shorts and a tee. After all, I had already “lit the beacon for Gondor” with my pasty white skin. Green Peace was not called. No one was blinded. Children were not traumatized. The Earth didn’t cease to spin. And I had already seen some suits of all sorts on, well…on all sorts, so I to braved it. With a skirt wrap. Let’s not be ridiculous!
As for the photo, I’ve decided to keep it. But…
…retain some semblance of dignity)!
We all have hourglass figures; your sand just settles in different places.
– Octavia Spencer