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Last night, Little Guy walked into my bedroom and handed me my husband’s steel-toed shoe, and said “you can have the honours”. The honours of what? Apparently there was (and I quote) “a BIG black spider in the bathroom”.

That would explain why he closed the bathroom door on his way out, because spiders can’t work doorknobs. (He didn’t think about the 0.5″ gap under the door).

As the parent, I could only think of three options. I could call Hubby to do the dirty deed, but risk that he would say “no”. I could block that 0.5″ gap and set the entire bathroom on fire, but we only have one bathroom. It’s ugly but it’s all we’ve got! Or I could do the mature thing, set the example and kill the spider…with Hubby’s shoe.

I chose the mature option. I boldly walked into that bathroom, with Little Guy hovering at my heels, shoe at the ready. But there was no spider to be seen. I scoured the walls around the toilet (it’s last resting place). I (reluctantly) kicked the garbage can and package of t.p. away from the wall. I stood on my head to see behind the toilet. No BIG black spider.

“No, Mom. It was on the toilet. I finished going and put down the lid, and it had been on the lid the whole time”.

“This toilet?”  The one I’ve just been rubbing my body up against as I scanned the floor tiles.



Another bathroom assassin.

There are a number of ways to kill (or migrate) spiders. Hello Giggles lists 11 ways.  Wikihow uses pictures. But the key component to killing a spider…is the spider! And our BIG black spider was gone!

Rule #1 – Always check your surroundings. Assume they are everywhere.

Now Little Guy will never forget Rule #2– when you see a spider, do not break eye contact. Feel free to call for backup, as loud as necessary. Because the moment you look away, they will run away.

We have a BIG black spider living somewhere in our home. So I’m going to suggest we spend the weekend in a hotel (I’m packing nothing), and immediately put our house on the market. Buyer beware!

Happy Weekend!