Sometimes I feel invisible, and I’m talking literally, not figuratively.
I went to Wal-Mart last night. Three times in fact. Once for a few groceries and Canada Day t-shirts for Hubby’s “Spirit Day” at work. All the shirts were gone but I found gaudy red Canada Day backpacks for $5! The second trip – to submit 5 years worth of photos to finish an album on the weekend, and a few groceries. But the photos were still on my desktop. The third time, to print the photos from my memory stick. I’m not going back a fourth time!
It happened on the way home from the third (and final!) trip. Envelope in hand, I walked toward the exit, fully expecting the sliding glass door to swish open. The door had other plans.
You cannot pass! – Gandolf, Lord of the Rings
I nearly walked into it.
Stunned, I took a few steps back and tried again. It still didn’t open. I looked around. At that rare, singular moment in history, there was no one around. No one coming in. No one going out. In Wal-Mart. It was spooky!
I should have applied the old expression: Fool me once – shame on you. Fool me twice – shame on me.
I didn’t! I tried a third time.
In retrospect, I should have just tried the other door. Instead, I waved my arms in the air like I was desperately trying to fly. I put my left foot…I put my left foot out…I did the hokey-pokey and I turned myself around. Still…
All the insecurities in who I am, all the existential questions about my purpose rose to the surface, and I refused to be bested by a door! I was, after all, a valuable human being. I had feelings, hopes, dreams, even the potential to change the world. I deserved to be seen and heard. I was NOT invisible.
So I mustered all that pent up rage and insecurity, and with hands on hips, I glared at it. If invisibility was my new superpower, maybe I had other superpowers?!?
And as I glared, a dumpy middle-aged in short cut-off denim shorts and a stained white t-shirt that didn’t cover his pasty white beer belly, strolled by. He didn’t even glance my way.
And the door swished open…
I may be in the next People of Wal-Mart video.