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Or more specifically Ugly Underwear Guy!

We bought our house in 2001, only a few years after Ugly Naked Guy, was first mentioned on the popular sitcom, Friends! Ugly Naked Guy was the nudist who lived across from Monica and Rachel’s apartment.

We purchased the house in July, touring it in the evening before the sun went down. We moved in on September 30th, when most of the leaves were still on the backyard trees. See where this is going?

So it wasn’t until we were  surveying our backyard by the light of the moon, somewhere around Christmas, that I noticed our neighbour was almost sporting a moon over the top of his “tighty whities”. His pasty-white, doughy belly hung over the waistband in the front. His equally blanched butt sagged below the legholes in the back. Everything undulated as he walked around his house. This man was clearly the king of his castle and obviously comfortable in his own skin.

He did everything in his underwear. Cook, clean, watch T.V. Everything!

I only saw him once with a lady in his living room. She was wearing a slip.

While we could never unsee the unbelievably unwelcome graphic display of this unconformist, we chose not to make Ugly Naked Guy the source of jests. But every now and then, I’d unintentionally catch a flash of unnaturally waxed flesh when I closed the blinds. I’d make an unsolicited comment to Hubby, “Ugly Naked Guy is home”, to which Hubby would groan, “Ugh”!

Ugly Naked Guy moved 2 or 3 years after we moved into the neighbourhood, but this untempter’s unflinching devotion to undress has not been forgotten.

Postscript: Aren’t you glad I didn’t take any photos?

 

 

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