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Like most parents, I’m guilty of telling some little white lies, but I’m not here to debate the ethics of those little white lies. This is a safe, judgment-free space. That being said, my most common lies are:

  •  “Maybe later” – Code for: No;
  • “We’ll see” – Code for: Probably No; and,
  • “We can always come back another day” – Code for: Probably (most definitely) not any time soon.

Kids catch on fast! They also catch on to:

  • “I have x-ray vision – I can see through doors”;
  • “I have eyes in the back of my head”; and,
  • “When the ice cream truck plays music, it means it’s out of ice cream”.

I have intentionally never used:

  • “It won’t hurt that much”;
  • “This shouldn’t take long”; or
  • “Santa’s watching you”!

Those lies can’t be blurred. Needles hurt! Appointments run late. And Santa?

“He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been good or bad, so be good for goodness sake!”

Does anyone else find that creepy? And now they’ve added –

elf-meme

Second, Santa Clause was a sore point between Hubby & I. I loved the aura of magic and wonder it brought as a kid. I do remember feeling 2 things when I found out Santa wasn’t real: 1) disappointment; and 2) appreciation for my parents. While our “best” gift came from them, they still let an imaginary figure take credit for bringing us joy on Christmas morning. Hubby, on the other hand, didn’t grow up with Santa. He has a deep appreciation for his parents’ generosity, but he’s pretty sure he would have felt betrayed by the lie that “Santa is real”. [On a side note, my brother says that as long as Santa brings stuff, he’ll “believe!”]

The other day, I heard the survey results of the most recent list of top 5 most common white lies parents tell

  1. Pretending to call the police because they did something bad.

I have never used this, but my Dad did once when I went out with a girlfriend one evening, and we “disappeared” for several hours. After being royally chewed out, my Dad dialed the local police station and told me to tell them who I was and that I was safely home. I did! At the time, I believed my Dad really had called the police. Now I’m pretty sure he didn’t, but the officer played along brilliantly. I was 15.

It was almost as terrifying as the time my Dad “called the hospital” because I bit into the centre hole of my doughnut… I sobbed inconsolably and my Dad got chewed out! I was 5.

 

  1. Pretending you didn’t eat their candy or other food.

Guilty. Also guilty of hiding food. Once in my bra. It melted…

 

  1. Saying you have to leave somewhere like a playground because it’s closing . . . even though it’s really not.

Not guilty but secretly wish I had thought of this!

 

  1. Lying to your friends about your parenting style: “Oh yeah, we totally limit screen time too.”

Not guilty. We’re not coordinated enough as parents to pull it off.

  1. Telling your kids that an annoying toy is lost . . . when you really got rid of it.

Not guilty…BUT hiding said annoying toy (and making a mental note to buy the offending gift-giver an annoying toy to their child) and saying I don’t know where it is – Guilty!

It’s possible my children will one day use some of these little white lies against me in a therapy session. After all, aren’t I to blame for every poor choice my little darlings make? But you? Your kids will be ok because you’re an awesome parent!

I’m lying.

Happy Weekend!

 

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