“I’m not saying let’s go kill all of the stupid people…I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.” – Author Unknown
I’ve had my fair share of encounters with stupid people. They are…everywhere. They are in the stores, the school parking lot, and even at work. Fortunately, most of them were smart enough to stay away from me…this week anyway.
It’s Friday and I’m feeling a little frazzled. Last weekend, I drove over 300 km, took over 200 photos and ate turkey at least 4 meals in a row. No regrets! But it means the sitting, the fresh air and the food kinda turned my brain to mush and I haven’t written a thing.
Cue the “maybe someday list” of writing topics…and this little news story from 18 months ago screamed “pick me”! It tickled my fancy at the time and it’s tickling something now…
Setting: April, 2015. Alaska
Characters: Two male geniuses, ages 21 & 29, respectively. Drunk, high or just not the sharpest knives in the drawer – we’ll never know.
One Sunday evening, two friends (with the munchies?) decided to steal frozen pizzas from a warehouse. They made off with 80 with an estimated street value of $1000 (approx. $13.75/pie). They cooked and ate 5 of those pies before one of them cooked up the idea of making some dough by selling some pizza…but to whom? How about at the local police station.
It was a cheesy move!
On-duties officers, already alerted to the theft, received an interesting phone call and played along. They easily captured the culprits red-handed (with tomato-sauce)! The pair faced charges of second degree burglary and second degree theft.
75 pizza pies were recovered! That’s a lot of dough!
“The problem with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard.” – David Gerrold