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Recently, a blogger friend celebrated 8 years of marital bliss. He shared how they met and how “crazy in love” he still is about her. After a miserable first marriage and a lot of sucky stuff, I’m happy that he has someone (and something) to celebrate: Love.

Hubby and I celebrated 20 years of marriage in June and we had talked about going to Italy (so we could put our hours of learning vocab. and conjugating verbs in Italian to the real test)…but finances and timing got in the way. Then the world started going crazy over there: a lack of love.

Instead, Hubby surprised me with 20 long stemmed red roses, and immediately made me pose with them so we could post the picture on FB. I doubt he was looking for a gold-star from our handful of friends; perhaps he wanted to show off his prettiest “Rose”? I kinda love that guy – he makes me laugh.

Those roses were very much like the ones I carried on our wedding day, very much like those carried by the grandmother I also said good-bye to in June. I would have worn her dress or her veil too, but they were lost in a fire at her parents’ just after they married. Thankful they only lost things. In 63 years, they never lost their love for each other.

ASWEDDING_ed

My grandfather wanted the title, “Oldest Married Couple” at the Fair but was too shy to speak up. I’m so thankful I did. Grandpa wasn’t with us the next summer. He was so proud of that certificate!

We knew he would have to die before her. He adored his bride. I remember watching him watching her in their later years. She was singing in the church choir on an ordinary Sunday morning, his face positively beaming. He only had eyes for her. Without her, he would have curled his 6’ frame into a ball and died of a broken heart.

Coming home last weekend, I popped in a cd I haven’t listened to in awhile. And when one song started to play, I remembered…

“…went to bed I was thinking about you, I wanna talk and laugh like we used to. When I see you in my dreams at night, it’s so real but it’s in my mind…”

I had been listening to that same song in the car just after he died. It had been at the beginning of a long weekend and some family had gathered to hold vigil with Grandma until we could have the service, our final tribute.

Grandma seemed to sleep a lot that weekend – physically and emotionally exhausted after weeks of sitting in the hospital, confident he would get better and return to her.

Don’t wake me ’cause I don’t wanna leave this dream
Don’t wake me ’cause I never seem to stay asleep enough
When it’s you I’m dreaming of, I don’t wanna wake up

She kissed him at the funeral home. She kissed him over and over. Held his hands. Whispered in his ear and smiled. Love.

* * *

My red roses only lasted a few days, wilting in the heat. I did my best to keep them going – fresh water, trimmed stems, a little sugar. As beautiful as they were, it was what they represent that’s worth my time and attention.

Love goes deeper than roses on special occasions or tributes on a blog. It is more than the kind heralded in bad country songs or smeared across the tabloids. It is more vast than a skywriter’s “paper” and deeper than the blue in Matthew McConaughey’s eyes. It endures through the sucky stuff and looks to give the best to the other (even when you’re not too sure about the other).  It is  worth guarding, tending, and celebrating…every day…over a lifetime.

Even on an ordinary Monday morning…

That’s amore.

Ti Amo Hubby! xoxo
**quotes are from Don’t Wake Me by Skillet, Awake Album

This has been a “10 Minute Monday” post (where I write about whatever I want for a minimum 10 minutes, no editing – mayhem, memories, maudlin mumblings, or  “mwa ha ha” moments).

 

 

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