Life isn’t always about big bangs, mountain tops, or shooting for the stars! Sometimes the stars are so veiled that not even a glimmer shows through…sometimes for weeks.
The last few months have felt like that.
It’s Day 8 of the New Year, and just like my New Year’s Eve celebration, it’s come in with more of a fizzle than a bang. On the other hand, I really enjoyed my quiet New Year’s with my family – a good movie, a good game, a good family photo on the couch, and a good glass of wine right before I fell asleep.
And it wasn’t even a full glass.
Like many of you, January 1st signals time to do some soul-searching. To review what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it. To figure out who you are. To set goals and make plans and forge ahead with more than good intentions.
I’m not there yet.
And I’ve decided “that’s ok”. I’m not an overachieving, super-anxious woman of action (some who know me might disagree). Sometimes I need to sit in the dark, ponder the silence, wait for the stars.
That’s not to say I’m aimlessly and idly sitting by. I still have meals to cook and a house to clean, a job and rehearsals to attend, programs to plan, and relationships to nurture.
I’ve made a few plans for 2016:
I will start with taking down my Christmas tree…and hiding Frosty in the basement for Big Guy.
Does this look like the face of an evil genius to you?
I’ve started a diet, and will be really crabby by the weekend. If Wednesday’s squirrel had been holding a nut, no matter how cute he was, I might have hurled myself through the glass door in an attempt to steal it.
I’m going to stare and smile at people who are gullible, weary, or pissing me off solely for the purpose of increasing their paranoia.
I’m starting a belly dance class next week (what was I thinking?). I take comfort in the knowledge that when I took it 10 years ago, I was the youngest in the class so maybe I’ll still be in the “middle of the pack”!
I have a brand new Beth Moore study into which I’m itching to dive head first. I also have a Bread Bible to muck up with butter and flour!
I’m considering running in Mud Hero again this year – it was a big deal…and a lot of work! But then I’ve been saying this for 2 years…(I also thought about aiming for a bikini this year but they’ve already outlawed whaling…)
I’m carrying on with my lessons in Italian and seriously considering a trip for our 20th anniversary. I’ll probably take my husband.
I’m going to try “10 Minute Mondays” (where I can write about whatever I want for minimum 10 minutes, no editing – mayhem, memories, maudlin mumblings, or “mwa ha ha” moments). I’m keeping Wilderness Wednesdays (and learning what all the buttons do on my camera – mostly because I keep hitting the wrong ones)! And I want to make Fridays funny – because I want to laugh more and cry less (and if I cry laughing – bonus!) I may post other days – I may not. I think I’m ok with that…
I’m going to try to “drink deep in the morning”, and be gentle with myself when I’m tired and discouraged. And to bless others more.
I’m going to keep watching for the stars – and be amazed!
“The stars are visible only in darkness, but though equally set in the firmament during the light of day, they are lost in the brightness of the glorious sun.” – Rev. Edward B. Moeran