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We went to a steak house Saturday night and I was starving. So I ordered the “All You Can Eat Ribs” with an apple butter sauce. It came with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, and corn bread (which I gave to Hubby…and Little Guy ended up eating).

Just before they arrived, our waitress, Linda, brought the steel bucket (for the bones) and wet wipes. The packages said “Go Ahead…Get Messy”. I wasn’t afraid to! I rolled up my sleeves and wiped my chin. Ironically, the song playing at the time was “Hungry Like a Wolf”!

When it arrived, Hubby asked me if I was going to be able to eat all that…historically I don’t order “All you can eat” because I can’t do it justice. But I had eaten 2 waffles and one piece of buttered toast all day, and I was ready! I would do this or die trying!

Plate of ribs

The meat was so tender it practically fell off the bone. The sauce was sticky and sweet, and caramelized in the charred bits. I closed my eyes with each bite and savoured the rich goodness. I made sounds that probably shouldn’t be heard outside a bedroom. And it continued on that way, rib after rib…until I reached the seventh bone.

By the seventh rib, my stomach took a dramatic and dangerous turn. Suddenly the sticky sauce was too sweet, the rack of ribs still laying before me was suddenly unappetizing. I didn’t have even have time to slow down first. Only moments before I was contemplating whether to ask for another 3 or another 6 ribs. I hadn’t even reached the meat sweat stage…and I was wearing my baggy jeans. There was room for more.

Instead, I set the oversized silver steak knife slowly and stared at my water glass. Hubby noticed my glazed look and asked me if I was alright. He thought I was looking a little green…and I was! Very green. He advised that I stop eating, between bites of his own rack of ribs…All You Can Eat isn’t worth it if you lose all that you ate.

I was so disappointed. I fought the ribs…and the ribs won. After a few minutes, I managed to spoon down the potatoes and gravy, and the coleslaw, hearing my father’s words in my head – “eat your meat – we’re paying for the meat”.

Now I remember why I don’t order “All You Can Eat”!


Hubby avenged me…he enjoyed my ribs the next day.