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If only I had known that a Black Friday sale would nearly be the death of me…

We bought a stove online at a big box store’s site – nothing fancy but enough to eliminate one of my excuses for bad cooking. As promised, we received a recorded message with a delivery date and time, along with a phone number to reschedule should the date and time be inconvenient. So I called…

Call #1: I got the correct company but not the correct department. The service representative I reached had no clue what I was talking about and he kept suggesting that I call the store where I purchased the stove. I didn’t purchase it at a store. We talked in circles until I finally volunteered to hang up and try my call again.

Call #2: This time I got the right department but the representative was not the sharpest knife in the drawer (I had a flashback to my experience with Bambi). She kept confusing weekday and weekend, and my request for “after 3:30 p.m.” to “before 3:30 p.m.” After multiple explanations and corrections, she assured me that it would arrive on the following Friday after 3:30 p.m. with a confirmation voicemail to arrive the day before.

On the Wednesday evening, we moved the dining table and chairs to make room. Thursday was a “snow day – an unusually early snow storm hit the city. I ended up picking up work and bringing it home. That meant I was here when the voicemail came confirming my Friday delivery between 9:10 and 2:10.

Call #3: I immediately called and explained that I had been assured our delivery would be scheduled for afternoon. But according to this representative, the other representative had no authority to choose a time. And because our postal code placed us near the warehouse, we would have to accept a morning delivery. After a great deal of arguing, the only options given were to a) reschedule; or b) let the men attempt delivery, at which time they would leave a slip with the phone number to reschedule. I pointed out the flaw in his logic – my house still had not moved. I was still close to the warehouse and could most certainly be guaranteed another morning delivery. We could reschedule 50 times and I still wouldn’t have my stove. Finally, in frustration, I asked if I should cancel the order and take my business elsewhere. He told me to go ahead. I asked for the supervisor and was told one was not available. I pushed…he put me on hold. When he came back with the promise that a supervisor would call me back within an hour, I knew it was hopeless.

They tried to deliver the stove the next day. I was not home…

I emailed head office. They were no help.

Call #4: I called the local number left by the delivery gentlemen. I explained everything in as few words as possible. She apologized and explained again that a time could not be given, however, she was willing to send an email to the store to get “permission” to deliver it after 3:30 p.m. I didn’t bother pointing out that I didn’t buy it in a store…

I received a confirmation voicemail message last Monday, for my delivery…between 11:30 and 2:45.

Call #5: I spoke very quietly. I explained how many times I have called and the treatment I’ve received. I asked if there was any possibility I could schedule either a Saturday or a day after Christmas when Hubby is on holidays. In the spirit of the holidays, she booked it for this past Saturday.

I was disappointed on Friday when I got home from work. I expected a voicemail confirming my delivery for Saturday and with my luck, after 3:30 p.m. (rolling my eyes).  Instead, the highly anticipated voice message was strangely absent…

Call #6: Yes, I called to confirm my own delivery. Either something had gone horribly wrong and I would be back to square one, OR (like Elaine on Seinfeld), I was on a list somewhere and they were scared to call me.

The stove arrived before 2 p.m. I christened it by making Kraft dinner, peanut-butter marshmallow squares, and a turkey dinner.

Now I need to learn how to cook…

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