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“Buying something on sale is a special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it’s worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?” – Rita Rudner

My feet gravitated to the store entrance before my eyes had finished reading the “Going Out Of Business – Everything 60% off” and my brain had fully computed that information. Had I taken another split second before I ventured inside, I would have realized that I was entering “The Stick Person” store.

Years ago when I was working downtown, I often passed by the window of “The Stick Person” store. I’d admire the tiny sweaters and pretty dresses and keep moving. I was too short and too curvy (and a little too cheap) to find anything there. But at 60% off, I was willing to give it a try!

I tried on 5 dresses and they all looked pretty good! I would have to make the difficult choice. And then, my friend found a dress with a red “take an additional 20% off” tag on it…and it fit (as long as I stand up straight and stop eating donuts). What was the problem? I would have to replace the zipper. I hesitated. The sales clerk countered. She would sell it to me for 60% and then take an additional 50% off the remainder. Sold! And while you’re at it, ring up that little black number as well. I spend less than $100 (taxes included) on 2 dresses that would have cost me over $300 full price! I love a good bargain.

Last night, I put on my little dresses for Hubby’s approval. He approved…

And then…horror of horrors! I was trapped in dress #2. My bodacious bargain was suddenly a botched bargain. The zipper had split and it wasn’t going to go down. I pulled up while he pulled down. The dress was too tight to pull over my head. The dress was too tight to slip my arms out. Believe me. I tried. Hubby tried. Even Little Guy tried. The temperature in the house suddenly zoomed higher as panic started to set in. I suddenly had visions of walking into a tailor to see if they could replace the zipper and re-sew the seam. Eventually, after a great deal of straining and sighing, Hubby was able to force the zipper all the way to the top and then break it with the toe nail clippers.

So in the end…

“There is no victory at bargain basement prices.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

Bummer!

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