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I’m the dummy, just in case I was unclear. I finally popped in the Gentle Yoga for Beginners DVD that I bought almost 2 years ago. I should feel guilty but I don’t…ok, maybe a little but in all fairness, I didn’t own yoga pants at the time. I didn’t know what comfort I was missing…AND (bonus) Hubby made the mistake of telling my yoga pants look better on me than my size 2 jeans (once he realized his error, he apologized and promised that would never happen again…) I went to a yoga class once and while I humiliated myself couldn’t do most all of the poses, I survived. I could even walk carefully the next day.

So I picked from the “Easiest” menu – “Floor and Knees” (which just sounded dirty). This is what I discovered:

  • My yoga mat still smells new…probably because it…kind of….is new…
  • I have never been particularly bendy…that has not improved with age.
  • When I lift my left arm over my head, my shoulder grinds more loudly than a coffee bean grinder.
  • I wonder how I ever survived Kindergarten sitting cross-legged?
  • My toes and ankles snap a lot…just like my Dad.
  • Once I get down on the floor, I might not be able to get up.
  • If I lie on the floor and do the back stroke for 35 minutes, while breathing heavy…it’s strangely similar to what I just did…
  • There is a pose called “Cow”…it seemed particularly appropriate! It may have even been named after me. “Beached Whale” would be appropriate too!
  • It’s boring…I was supposed to be lying there, relaxing…picturing a string through the core of my body that was stretching and widening (or something like that)…instead, I was thinking about how bored I was and the fact that I was getting cold.
  • So while the instructor was mumbling something about trees, I did a few push-ups and planked (is that a word?) before settling on the couch for another episode of Downton Abbey, with a cup of blueberry green tea (which tastes like straw) and thinking about pretzels (for some bizarre reason).

Maybe green tea, like this kind of gentle yoga, is an acquired taste for a yoga dummy like me… 😉