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I didn’t write this, but I still love it. I pull it out from time to time when I need a chuckle. Hope you chuckle too!

A is for arthritis,

B is the bad back,

C is the chest pain, perhaps cardiac?


D is for dentures,

E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention,

G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.


H is high blood pressure – I’d rather it low;

I is for incisions with scars you can show…

J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,

K is for knees that crack when they bend.


 L is for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow!


P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.


S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,

T is for Tinnitus – there’s a bell in my ears!

U is for urinary… big troubles with flow;

V is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy,” you know.


W is for worry – what’s going ’round?

X is for X ray, and what might be found;

Y is another year I’m left here behind,

Z is for zest that I still have – in my mind.


I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed

And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!