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“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” –Greg Anderson  But when you’re on a journey, in the car…and your hot, tired and in need of pit stop, there’s nothing better than joining the crowds of grumpy adults and sticky kids in a rest centre. It’s a long weekend…here are a few rules to make it just the best experience in the journey!

If I need gas, I like to fill up before getting out to stretch, to buy refreshments, and to…well, you know!

1)      If there is a huge line-up at the gas pumps, do take the time to wash nearly every square inch of your car with the squeegee. Wet it often, and really scrub the side windows, since that’s the place the gooey bug guts really stick.

2)      Do take as long as possible paying inside in air conditioned comfort. Who doesn’t like sucking fumes while we wait?

In the parking lot,

1)      Do park crooked and sit in the spot with all the car doors open in order to monopolize as many spaces as possible. Let your kids run around – the search and the distractions give parking a game-like quality.

2)      Do feed the gulls. I enjoy dodging “bullets” on the way to and from the rest centre. I also like being attacked when I return to my car with food. Hitchcock would be proud.

Once inside, I usually head to the bathroom.

1)      Do cut to the front of a long line by speaking another language (or make up your own) and pretend to not understand. It’s a great distraction when your bladder is about to burst.

2)      Do sprinkle when you tinkle and don’t flush. Then I can play that game – you know the one you play when you stare at the clouds and pick out shapes. Lots of fun!

3)      Do leave just enough toilet paper on the roll to fool me into thinking there’s enough for one more person…

4)      Do monopolize the only working sink or dryer. If there’s a mirror over it, touch up your make-up. We’re all women, and we don’t mind waiting for that…

5)      Splash water all over the counter. It’s fun to juggle a purse (and a kid) while trying to wash your hands. The wet line across the front of your clothes from leaning over the counter to try to squirt soap in my hand, is refreshing.

6)      If you want to have some fun with your fellow passengers, drop a few squares of toilet paper by the door. It may just stick to their shoe.

7)      Don’t tell me if my skirt is caught in my underwear – I like the attention!

Once you’re done, head to the next line-up for food and drink:

1)      Do hold a place in line for your whole family, while they are in the bathroom.

2)      Wait until it’s your turn to decide what everyone wants to order. Change your mind often.

3)      Do wait until it’s time to pay to dig out your wallet. Pay in small change. We enjoy standing there watching you count out $0.95.

Finally, when you are leaving, if someone is waiting for your spot, take your time. And when back out, don’t look to see who is behind you. It sharpens the reflexes! And if there’s a stop sign, do sit at it briefly. It gives me time to catch my breath. Enter the highway as slowly as possible – merging at half the speed at which traffic is flowing is just too boring for those who didn’t take the time stop.

Keep enjoying “the journey”!

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