“Oh, I know you gonna take me home tonight…fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round”

It’s not the greatest song in the world (by any stretch of the imagination) but it kept this girl moving…especially when she’s standing on a chair with a sponge and a scraper. There are all-girl construction companies, and I think it’s fantastic, but this big-bottomed girl lacks the brains and the brawn to do much beyond the basics, like painting and plastering…

It didn’t take long before I was getting tired, standing on a chair and stretched on my toes, sponging and scraping off my “bad fruit” wallpaper border. Then I had a revelation – I could stand on the kitchen counter, and since I’m under-tall, my hair barely touched the ceiling. Maybe that’s why the line from Alanis Morisette’s “One Hand in My Pocket“, which was playing on the radio at the time, struck me – “I’m short but I’m healthy”. It made me laugh out loud. I was also straddling a pile of dirty dishes and it would have been easier to work if I had washed and put them away first. However, I’d rather have the extra fiber (the little bits of wallpaper) on the dirty dishes rather than on the clean. After 45 minutes, my dishes were washed and I had stripped as much wallpaper as I could stand, but I really need a ladder.

Phase 2 was to remove the trim in the kitchen, the same trim that I had so painstakingly painted with a tiny brush and a toothpick. Apparently it was both nailed and glued to the wall, making its removal a brawny challenge. I only hugged one wall this time, the same one as Monday, but this time it wasn’t to hide from someone at the door. The longest piece of trim ran behind my massive teak cupboard. I can’t move this thing even when it’s completely empty. I succeeded in pulling out the trim, but not before working up a sweat! Some pliers and a hammer made quick work of all of the remaining nails, but one. That last nail did not want to “go gentle into that good night” and I raged, raged against it. I have several nasty nail holes to show who is boss, but in the words of Starship, Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us [ME] Now!

After all that tip-toe stretching, this Fat Bottomed Girl is feeling it today.