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This week, I get to pretend to be a grown-up. I’m wearing make-up and dressing up every day. I’m heading out the door with my morning tea in my travel mug to drop Little Guy at school and then I’m heading to work. You’d think that my temporary office job wouldn’t involve a remote, a remote that would threaten to give me carpal tunnel syndrome or practically reduce me to tears. But it did.

Yesterday afternoon, I had spent half an hour trying to change the electronic sign on the front lawn. I was thankful that it was a sunny day, at first. But by the time I finished, I was a hot mess (i.e., glowing like a pig and red like the big Angry Bird) and my heels were clotted with mud. My instructions were clear – stand 4′ away from the sign, slight to the right, and point the remote at the top corner of the screen. Press the green menu button, and so on. I followed the instructions, and while it was difficult to insert the letters to change the sign, I managed. Add 2 letters, delete one. It felt like the “hokey pokey”…but I managed…

Then I read further…”repeat instructions on the other side of the sign”. Really? I have to do it all again? So I tip-toed over to the sunny side of the sign and started searching for the “sweet spot”. It proved to be really elusive…really elusive. There I am…standing in the front yard of the church, on a busy street, waving a remote at a sign. I was aware that I looked like an idiot. I was aware of the guy who walked across the street to collect his mail. I finally got it started and was half-way through texting “Wisdom of Solomon”…and it froze on the “S”. I checked my watch – almost time to leave so I can get Little Guy from school. I pushed every button imaginable…the arrows, the letters, the Menu, the Esc…nothing worked. I mashed buttons and waved for almost 10 minutes. When my wrist and thumb started to hurt, I switched hands. I contemplated throwing a hissy fit. I prayed. I fidgeted with the batteries, and walked around to the other side of the sign to see if the batteries were working. They were. I smiled and waved at the nice policeman who drove into the driveway, smiling and waving at me. It finally budged…and I jumped with joy! I had some difficulty getting all of “Solomon” typed in (remember the buttons where “M N O” are #5…and you have to press it three times to get O? Check out the second half of the name Solomon…yeah, that was a frustrating twist!

I knocked on my boss’ door just after 2:30 to tell him that I was running away because the sign stressed me out. He had a good laugh and suggested I have some chocolate (how did he know about the chocolate?). I hope I impressed him when I told him I had a chocolate bar in my purse…and in my bag by the desk. Stupid remote…

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