I have noticed something very weird lately…and a little discouraging. It’s my voice – my singing voice. It sounds awesome in the car (if I may say so). I can sing the lead or I can sing harmony! But put me on a platform with a mic and it’s pretty…wretched (if I may say so)! I wish there was a way to transfer the “car voice” to the real world.
What didn’t help at last night’s final practice was that I’m trying very hard to get a cold. I don’t know who gave me the cold since I was in solitary confinement most of last week in an effort to not use my voice (and therefore let my sore throat from Little Guy’s head butt to my nose, heal). Unlike Phoebe (from Friends), my head cold is not conducive to a sexy, smoky voice.
I don’t have a strong voice at the best of times, so the fact that the batteries in my mic kept dying also didn’t help. Maybe it was a sign… The third time we replaced them, we also moved the monitor so I could hear the piano better and then BAM! I could hear me too. I’d like to be a “rocker chick” but I think I’m just going to have to accept “Sandra Dee”…before her make-over!
This weekend, our little group is putting on another evening worship service. This will be our third, and a lot of planning, practice and prayer have gone into it. I played and sang backup from the grand piano in the corner the first time (and sang back-up on 2 songs on the platform). What a night! The second time, I struggled to accept the responsibility assigned to me – to sing and lead. God was nudging…and our “fearless leader” was nudging…and I took a leap of faith. I’m so glad I did! (see Heart of Worship I and Heart of Worship II)
This time, I will be playing the keyboard on the platform, singing (except that one song that I just can’t seem to play, sing…and sing the right words all at the same time), and leading. I’m hovering somewhere between absolutely terrified and unusually calm. Maybe that’s a good thing…fear keeps me reliant on God to speak to and through me, while peace means I’m trusting Him (and I am sleeping at night).
Our group, through a series of unfortunate events beyond our control, was forced to shrink only a year ago from 4-5 to a group of 2-3…but we are growing again. We’ve added a cajon player and bass guitarist…we have 2 other skilled guitarists who are also singing. And we have one goal in common: to “come as we are” to worship the Lord.
I’m anticipating another amazing evening…I just hope I lose this cold in time!
p.s. To my cousin who was horrified that I didn’t wear my sassy green boots last time, I promise I’ll wear them Saturday night!