It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a confession so here goes…I have issues with spit…not issues with spitting. I can hock a loogy when I need to…But I have issues with oral fluids…I think it began with my mother giving me the occasional “spit bath”. For the uninitiated, parents round the world try to clean up their kids’ faces (after they’ve left home) by spitting delicately into a tissue and dabbing at the dried food or mud on their cherub’s cheek. The usual culprits, in no particular order, are: jam, ketchup, mustard, pizza sauce, ice cream, and chocolate pudding. I hated it as a kid and I have tried very hard to avoid doing this to my kids.
My dislike was probably reinforced by my first cat. His name was named Fluffy (actually his full name was Arthur Fluffarelli) and he was mean. When he got on your lap and did the kneading thing, he’d growl and dig in his claws if you tried to push him off before he was done. As he got older and he did the kneading thing, he drooled…stringy ropes of saliva…the only thing to do was to let him finish and mop up later, or suffer the claw-sequences!
I don’t have an issue sharing my food…unless the person I’m sharing with takes a big wet bite. I learned when Big Guy was little, for example, that ice cream cones are not meant to be shared. By the time Big Guy had glommed all over it, not yet understanding the process of licking the ice cream so that it wouldn’t melt in sticky streams, it was a slimy mess. I don’t like to waste food but when that happens, I’m more than willing to make an exception! Same with drinks – I can share…sometimes…especially if there is a straw involved. But if you forget to slurp your slop from rim of the can, the can is yours!
Hubby is the only one I will kiss on the lips, and right now, it’s that time of year when colds are passed back and forth, so there’s no kissing going on! IF there was kissing going on, it would most certainly not be French kissing. I’ve tried it – I don’t like it!! If I wanted to taste my partner’s meal, I would ask him if I could try a bite, during the meal! I even have trouble watching movies with a lot of sloppy, open-mouthed kissing. I nearly retched during a scene in one of the Scary Movie movies – when the teenager is making out with a senior and there were gelled ropes of spit wrapped all around their heads. I feel ill just thinking about it. I told you, I have issues.
And finally, please do not ask to borrow my toothbrush. I am not a selfish person, but I won’t share my toothbrush…with anyone. Just ask Hubby. At Christmas, he forgot to pack his toothbrush. The second night at his parents, he asked if he could use my toothbrush. I brushed first and gave him my toothbrush. He tried to give it back when he was done, but there was no way that thing was going anywhere near my mouth or my suitcase. It’s in the garbage. I bought a new one – it’s pink!