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I seriously considered holing up in the hotel bathroom with my laptop for a few hours last night just to keep from turning into an enraged Wookie* It wasn’t that sleep evaded me…it was all the forces working against me.

Last night we Hubby, Little Guy and I stayed in a hotel, literally 5 minutes from my parents. We watched new Looney Tunes cartoons on Teletoon (something we don’t get at home) from big beds with puffy pillows, and we went for a swim. The pool was comfortably warm and the hot tub was blissfully hot! Of course the trip in between was a bit embarrassing…I had the choice to wear knee-high boots or hot pink polka-dotted fuzzy socks with my bathing suit. I took the stairs!

We walked to the restaurant across from the parking lot and asked if we ate in, would we be finished before 6? Little Guy wanted to watch the last Shrek movie (me too!) and our waitress was very helpful. We made it back with time to spare!

Little Guy and I shared one queen-sized bed, while Hubby had his own. By 9:30, we were all tucked into bed. Little Guy was pretty sure we could share my side of the bed. He kept shoving his knee in my back, and tucking his hand under my pillow…wasn’t the movement that bothered me…it was the rustling under my ear. Snuffling every 4 seconds…I know…I counted…then I did the math.. Every 4 seconds equals 15 times a minute, equals 75 times in 5 minutes…and he was awake for at least 45 minutes…so that equals… 675 times before he finally fell asleep!

I put in my ear plugs and plunked a squishy pillow over my head (to try to hold the ear plug in – they never stay). Then the noise in hall started…I checked the dim digital clock…it was 9:42!

At 9:44, Hubby started snoring gently. When the urge to weep became overwhelming, I called out to him and he answered me, “I’m not asleep”!

Soon after, the loud talking, door slamming merry makers of many ages multiplied…and someone overhead started playing tag in army boots. I glared out the eye hole for several minutes, afraid that if I opened the door, I would unleash a torrent abuse on every passer-by! By the time I stumbled back to bed, one eye was used to light while the other was used to the dark…it was extremely disorienting. And Little Guy had crawled further into my spot. Do I give up and start rocking in the bathroom? Instead, I went to his side of the bed and pushed (straining my back and wrist) to get him further into my side, so I could crawl into his side). More thumping and banging overhead and next door… my nose started to whistle…was this night ever going to end?

I started contemplating death… I don’t think about death often…after all, the time and place, and the manner in which I die are not determined by me. We are all going to die at some point and I’m not going to waste time worrying about it. That being said, last night I had this thought: if I have to die by drowning, please Lord, let it be in a hot tub with the bubbles on!

Somehow the night passed…but not before I was scratched, punched, kicked, pushed, raked and groped by Little Guy. It got worse when I faced Little Guy so I stayed facing the wall…which made my hip ache on that side. I also made several trips to the bathroom (because when I can’t sleep, my body thinks I should be doing something). My ear plugs made my ears hurt…but were otherwise ineffectual. And I spent a large part of the night hugging my own side of the bed and grasping the corner of the blanket over my shoulder lest Little Guy, who was practically sleeping sideways, take it all!

The alarm rang at 8 a.m. and Little Guy slept through it. It’s amazing how all the evil forces diminish in morning light and my woeful night of wakefulness seems more like a bad dream…I can catch up on sleep tonight…or can I? Little Guy and I will be heading back to my parents for another week, and with my brother and his family visiting, we will have to share a room a few more nights. I may end up sleeping in the laundry room with the guinea pigs…at least they sleep at night!

(*Wookies are short-tempered so when angered, can fly into a berserk rage that will not stop until the object of their distemper is sufficiently destroyed. – http://starwars.com/explore/encyclopedia/groups/wookiees/)