I have to start today’s post with a small warning: I started my gluten-free “diet” yesterday and I’m a little whiny. That’s because I’m starving to death… If, at some point, you notice that I haven’t posted in a few days (thank you for noticing), one of several things may have happened:
If no posts:
(a) I have “fallen off the wagon” and binged…I am now in a chocolate-induced coma. Please know this – I am happy!
(b) I have passed out from starvation and hit my head. Hospital “food” resembles food…I am happy!
(c) I am curled up in the fetal position, rocking on the floor in the grocery store (Aisle 5), next to the Organic/Gluten-Free sign (Hubby suggested I try this one in a sexy dress. Maybe some creepy guy would pick me up…I think that’s his subtle way of saying “I don’t want to listen to your whining. I’ll get him back though – I’m not cooking 2 meals every day, so he’s going to go gluten-free some too!). If they come for and put me in a rubber room, presumably, at some point I’ll be fed…I am happy!
Yesterday was Day One and I planned to start it with gluten free cereal. It has corn syrup in it (and corn is not my friend) but I thought I’d give it a try. You have no idea how glad I was that I tested my lactose-free milk by pouring a bit in the kitchen sink. Yup! Chunks…appetite waning! What to eat? Cinnabon toast! What an auspicious start!
I went for a long walk before grabbing a snack on way out the door to get groceries…A slim cholesterol-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, vegan, 0% fat rice cake…aka Styrofoam!
The grocery store had a few selections of gluten free items, but they were spread out so you had to hunt for it. I found hot cereal mix…made with corn flour. No! I found gluten-free all-purpose flour – I could bake…but it’s made from corn flour. No! I found chocolate chip cookies…made with corn flour. No!!! By now I was seriously considering staging a “sit-in”, in the grocery store…or just sitting down for a good old-fashioned cry! I bought some gluten-free brownie mix instead and I’m saving them for a day when I’m desperate. There’s a good chance it will be today!
I had salad for lunch! My dressing likely had some wheat in it. I don’t care! Salad is not a solution…my digestion does not take kindly to “too much” fruit and veggies…so I will have to find some other options and fast! I tried the cereal at bedtime and you have to eat it fast before it goes soggy. A house centipede ran across the kitchen floor when I was fixing my cereal. I stifled a scream and pointed it out to Hubby, who stepped, wriggled and smeared it across the floor. I said, “I feel sick…but I’m still hungry” to which he replied, “but it’s gluten-free”.
And so begins Day Two…