“Time flies when you’re having fun” and it’s true! Morning Break, the women’s outreach ministry at my church, is coming to an end until September. Yes, this is the Committee which I mysteriously became Chair in over 9 months ago, and yes, I am still terribly confused as to how that happened.
One of my responsibilities, perhaps arguably the most important one, is choosing the morning joke. So for today, I’m going to share 4 of the jokes that I’ve shared with the ladies, because let’s face it – we can always use a laugh!
1) An elderly senior couple were invited to an old friends’ home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husbands were in the living room, the host leaned over to her friend to say, ‘I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving pet names’. The elderly lady hung her head. ‘I have to tell you the truth,’ she said, ‘His name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I’m scared to death to ask the cranky old goat what his name is’.
2) Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, ‘Now don’t get mad at me … I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is…’ Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, ‘How soon do you need to know?
3) Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ ‘No,’ the second man replied, ‘it’s Thursday..’ And the third man chimed in, ‘So am I. Let’s have a root beer.’
4) After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K. She asked….. “What does that mean?” He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot. She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?” He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”