It’s been a tough week leading up to a tough meeting last night. Today (no more or less that the last few weeks), I’m feeling very flat and more than a little brain-dead. It was great to see the sun shining first thing this morning, but as the day has dragged on, the clouds have drifted in. It even snowed for awhile. I always find it comforting somehow… when the weather matches your mood. But I don’t want to drone on in my melancholy spirit…and since I am so brain-dead, I’m just going to pull out a good joke from an unknown source. Maybe someone else needs a good laugh too?
18 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and pointing a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the Intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker at work for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy”.
7. Dont use any punctuation
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go”.
11. Sing along at the Opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not “in the mood”.
15. Sign your personal cheques with something bizarre or “naughty” in the Re: line.
16. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling “run for your lives. They’re loose!”
17. Tell your children over dinner “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go”!
18. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
Can you believe I found a 3″ binder in my closet, stuffed full of stories, jokes, poems, and pictures…from the sublime to the ridiculous? I compiled it years ago but don’t ask me why… I really can’t remember! Have a good weekend and Remember: Keep smiling!…it makes people wonder what you are up to!